For Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer

What Happens When Communication Breaks Down In Marriage?

(Note: This is a guest article by Amy Waterman from Save My Marriage Today.)

It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.

This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. My partner told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I lashed back in defense. It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of aftershave. But to me, it represented something much deeper, that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.

Aftershave, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my partner when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"

I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.

I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night" was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.

So where to from here? My partner felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, whereas I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. It was never about me trying to make him feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.

Communication, communication, communication. I need for my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. It is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.

When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.

We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.

A good lesson to learn, even for the experts…

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Breaking Up And Moving On

So, you went through a break-up? If you're anything like me, you take breakups hard, full-on, and experience the full gamut of emotions ranging from anger, resentment, disconnecting, relief, happiness, sadness, depression, loneliness, then back through the whole thing again. How can you end this cycle sooner?

Well, first of all, it might be HEALTHY to go through all of that. Just try to go easy on yourself - and your ex - through this time. I'm going to give you several practical tips to help you move on and get past the grieving faster and with the minimal amount of pain. Follow this plan, and you'll likely be able to live and love again in a very healthy and happy way.

First, let's focus on what NOT to do:

1. Don't keep contacting him/her.
2. Don't drown your sorrows.
3. Don't make drastic changes or hurt yourself.
4. Don't keep talking about him/her with friends and family.
5. Don't stew in it and sit in a pool of tears with email, letters, and photos.
6. Don't go out and have sex with new people to deal with rejection or loss of love.

1. Don't keep contacting him/her. Don't send her text messages. Don't drop by his work to see if he's there. Don't send email. Don't call or phone. Don't show up unexpectedly at events they commonly attend. Look, whether you were the dumper or the dumpee it really doesn't matter. In one case, you're undecided, which is weak. In the other, you're desperate, which is also weak. So, don't do it. Don't talk to their friends about him/her, either. They'll be on their side and you'll just build up more resentment. So don't waste time with their friends, either. Don't waste your time dawdling around trying to contact them in ANY way, shape, or form. You won't be healing anything and you'll just end up putting your heart through more grief. If you were the dumper, you're being cruel to them. If you were the dumpee, you're setting yourself up for them to be cruel to you. Either way, this behavior doesn't sound like "higher self" behavior to me. So, if you've been doing this: STOP NOW!

2. Don't drown your sorrows in a bottle (or a pill or any other drug). Getting drunk will help you feel better for about 3 - 6 hours. Then, you'll have to face your grief with the added challenge of feeling yucky on top of it. So, deal with your pain other, more healthy ways (more on this in a bit).

3. Don't cut off all your hair, make drastic changes, or otherwise let yourself go. Women have a bad habit of getting a hair cut to symbolize getting rid of their ex. Later, when they look in the mirror, all they can do is cry that they hurt their beautiful long hair over feelings that could have been dealt with otherwise. Don't hurt yourself in any way, shape, or form. Yes, I know, the pain of lost love hurts so very bad and we think we'll never get over it. It seems that way for a month or so, but in time, we WILL move on. Instead of doing anything to hurt anyone, find another outlet: rearrange furniture, clean the house, buy a new pair of jeans or something, write a book, go jogging, but don't whack-off your hair and dye it red because you're pissed at your ex. Also, be careful of the bon-bons, sweets, chocolate, and other goodies that will tempt you at this time. Again, find another physical outlet to release your stress and concern.

4. Don't keep talking about him/her with your family and with your friends. They can usually hear about it once or twice, but beyond that, you need to move on and get on with your life. If they bring him/her up to you, say "we had our moments" and then change the subject. Don't go back down that alley. Your future is IN FRONT of you, not in the rear-view mirror.

5. Don't stew in it and sit in a pool of letters, emails, and photographs. If you're struggling to move on, reading all the loving things they wrote to you won't help you get past it. It will keep you mired in it. I'm not going to advocate that you destroy all of their photos and letters. Just box them up and put them some place (careful with Feng Shui) where they serve to TEACH us rather than LOVE us. If you care about Feng Shui, that would mean putting these items in the wisdom/teachers corner of the room/house, not in the love/relationship corner of the house.

6. Don't go out and have sex with new people just to heal your feelings of rejection or loss of love. I recently watched a re-run movie about a woman recovering from divorce during the 1970's and her therapist told her "You don't need to see me anymore, go explore MEN again." Well, the woman did, but in doing so, her first choice was this pig who used her for sex and then treated her poorly later. She cried. He was the wrong choice for her. The next man was a better choice. So, perhaps, you might want to pass over the first opportunity to jump back in bed and instead be very SELECTIVE over who you share your body with. Yes, I know, you have needs and you also may be feeling extra horny because of rejection or loss of love.

But, that's the time people make mistakes, get diseases, get pregnant, or get into another cyclical dysfunctional relationship, and/or other things that they later might live to regret. So, be selective in who you go out with when you go out again. I could take this a step further and say "don't sign up on a dating site" as that would be called "rebounding" but then again, if that's what you want to do, it's what you're gonna do. Just don't use other people, okay? Not for sex, not for "free" meals, and not for companionship when you're lonely.

Now that we've dealt with what NOT to do, let's focus on what positive actions you can take that will help you move on with your life and be open to living and loving as a fully empowered human being again.

What to do now:

1. Release resentment.
2. Be grateful and loving in your release.
3. Do take on new interests related to YOUR core values and what you most want from life.
4. Do spend time healing, nurturing, and feeding yourself.
5. Do make new friends, enjoy your work, enjoy your spiritual disciplines, and enjoy each day.
6. Do go out on new dates (when you are ready and over the grieving period).

1. Release resentment. I know this sounds crazy, but you might be in the mood to hate your ex or say mean things to them or about them. This is not beneficial. Once I've made the decision to move on and give up the idea of reconciling, if I feel the need to talk to her or reach out to her, what I do is write an email to myself. This is where all the resentment, anger, things you don't like, and stuff like that ought to get written down. I put "to xxxx" in the subject line, but when I hit "send" the email only goes to me. Whatever you do, do not violate this rule! Only send it to yourself - nobody else. Now, once you've gotten out the need to talk and say whatever you want to say (and I do say whatever I want to say in those emails!), you're now in a position to wipe the slate clean and show gratitude and other positive things. But DO have the list of resentment, things you didn't like, and what you didn't want from that person. I then save it in a folder with their name so I can go back and read it if I get a moment of weakness.

2. Be grateful and loving in your release. In your heart, be grateful for who this person was for you, what they did for you, in a good way. They were good in many ways. Be grateful. Then, send out the "I thank you for your love, I release you, I love you, so long..." That's healthy, it is hard to do, because when you send the love, you re-energize that love and create a desire to rekindle. But don't rekindle it, just let it go, with gratitude.

3. Do take on new interests related to YOUR core values and what you most want from life. Go back to each of your core values in each area, like family, social, love, relationships, friendships, career, health, spiritual, etc., and make a list of the top 3 - 5 things or ways of being in each of these that you most want. Then realign your life to match that list. That way, you can attract what you seek.

4. Do spend time healing, nurturing, and feeding yourself. Do spend time exercising and being physically active. It is good to ride a bike, go for a walk, swim, and otherwise get and keep yourself in shape. It is possible that you've gotten away from this before the breakup. This time is a perfect time to throw yourself back into a program. Work up to it little by little, more and more each day. That way, you're bettering yourself. Get a spiritual healing. You can cut the cords through a forgiveness exercise (see Belinda Farrell at http://www.hunahealing.com/ to cut the cords of the past if you feel you're stuck anywhere) or you can also go seek out therapy if you're having an especially hard time letting go (if you're going beyond a month or two of grief, seeing a therapist might be a good idea). Also, read a new book.

Investigate travelling to a place you've always wanted to go. Cook tasty meals for yourself, just as you would have before, or maybe even trying out new recipes. I find that breakups are especially good times to learn new dishes to prepare for both myself and for others. It's a great time to become a better cook! So, take time for you, make sure you get your sleep, and know that by keeping active and busy you'll be back on the path to healthy living in short order.

5. Do make new friends, enjoy your work, enjoy your spiritual disciplines, and enjoy each day.

This really is about enjoying life, you know? What if we only get one pass at it? Make sure you enjoy it while you're here! Start finding ways to focus on this as the day we rejoice and be glad in living.

Life can be enjoyable after loss of love. It is up to us whether or not we choose destructive behavior and thought processes or embrace a clean, healthy, and loving start at life again both on our own and with new friends. We can be more successful, create and build new love, and be the person we want to be most when we mend our broken heart and then get back to who we are at our best.

5. Do go out on new dates (when you are ready). Once you feel you are past crying about them and feeling deeply depressed, it is probably time for you to get out and about and start dating new people. However, when you date new people, I'm going to ask you to be selective in who you date. I Make a new list of what you want. And go for people who match that list. In addition, I'm also going to suggest group activities, or group dates. Rather than go off on a dating service, or dating people one-on-one, it might be healthier for a time to do things in groups. That way, you're in a more protected environment and not as vulnerable to make mistakes I talked about above. If you're someone who prefers going one-on-one, then just go slow. You'll be glad you did later.

For additional information on this subject, see:
Healing a Broken Heart
Let Go Of Guilt and Resentment
The Serenity Prayer
How To Know When Its Over
Considering Getting Back Together?
Problem Reconciliating Rejected Now What?

Sponsored program: How To Get Your Ex Back: Click Here!
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If you are experiencing a serious relationship problem, we recommend you seek a qualified relationship therapist. This information is guided by the terms and conditions posted at http://www.aspirenow.com.

Why Does Love Hurt So Much?

I'm sure you've heard the expression: Love Hurts. Why does love have to hurt so much?

Truly, I wish I had the answer. When we go through a breakup, our eyes get puffy from lack of sleep and crying. Our chest hurts probably not so much from an actual breaking heart but more likely shortness of breath because we are in "fear" mode.

Why Does Love Hurt So Much?

Yes, when we lose someone we've been with for a while, we are losing love. Or, at least we are in fear that we are losing love. And, fear blocks love. When we go into that mode, it seems that we are creating more of what we don't want: less love.

So, if you're hurting - and I can empathize with your pain - try to remember to keep breathing. Allow yourself to feel hurt, allow yourself to feel the loss, but remember than when you create a space in your life you might be allowing more love to come into your life in the not-so-distant future.

Not only that, but sometimes we need to release things in order to grow. I think this is where most relationships fall down: expectation and attachment to things hoped for but not entirely real. It is those expectations that drive some people to drugs or alcohol, others to immerse themselves in their work, the kids, food, exercise, or any other number of obsessions to try to deal with unmatched expectation.

The only thing I can say to you, if this is what you've been doing, is to consider releasing the expectation. Releasing the expectation is really the only opportunity to create a truly healthy, happy relationship, anyway.

I'm not suggesting this so that you necessarily get back together. Just release it anyway and see how life unfolds.

And, in the meantime, remember to keep breathing. Remember to do the things you love most. Remember to be loving to your friends and family who love you.

I write these words with all the love in my heart, to you, the person who may be hurting.

The pain will recede over time. Life will go on, if you let it. Release control, take a deep breath, and let it out. Then do it again. Keep yourself busy with exercise. Clear out any clutter that's been blocking you from being healthy environment or creating unnecessary attachment, too. Once you do, you will feel more alive, more free, and more able to love with the WHOLE you again.

*****
See other related articles:
Breaking Up
The AspireNow Break Up Guide
How To Get Over A Painful Breakup
Digging In The Dirt

Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, 3rd Edition (Rebuilding Books; For Divorce and Beyond)

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life

How To Break Up
Solving Sabotage Syndrome
Healing a Broken Heart
Is He or She The One?
SoulMates or In The Meantime

Thank you for being a reader of AspireNow articles! I appreciate you.

Want to learn how to get your ex back? Click Here!

Click here if you'd like to show a little appreciation back, in terms of a donation, visit The Most Powerful Law article, and you'll see a donate tab on the bottom left of the page. Abundance will flow your way, too!
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. This article is provided for entertainment. If your situation is serious, if you're experiencing depression for more than a few days, or if you are contemplating suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately!

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Are you RACIST?

What does it mean to be racist?

Is this really a problem in America, today?

Yes, it is. People close to me have mentioned being VERY upset about affirmative action. Over the past thirty years, many highly qualified people lost their jobs to LESS qualified people because they were the right color. People in that camp are resentful that minorities took their job and feel justified in being racist due to that.

Today, Barrack Obama suggested that we put aside these resentments.

I've also talked to people who told me that they were called "N.......r" just walking down the street. This gentleman worked at a major technology company. I recall him explaining how these threats led him to buy a hand-gun and keep it under his seat in his car! Let's face it: it wasn't so long ago that Billie Holiday sang the song "Strange Fruit" (written about the black man, hanging from a tree). Even Nat King Cole, just one generation ago, drove home to find that "N" word BLEACHED into his LAWN, of all things. African Americans struggle to overcome the feelings from racist comments made about them, or their forefathers, and probably rightfully so.

Barrack Obama suggested that this man put aside his fear. Perhaps he is the best person in the country to make such a suggestion. He also made a suggestion that we put aside reverse-racism and resentments on both sides. Today, a speech was made that might influence improvements between racial dividers for years to come. The speech encouraged people to acknowledge their past, and embrace the future from a higher ground. No matter what our political affiliation, this speech ought to inspire people to dig deeper into their own SELF and consider this candidates plea. Politics aside, are you going to take the speech for what it could mean in your own life?

Are you racist?

All this talk about "he should disown this person" and people who are saying "a black man against a white woman" in this election, is not that, in itself, a bit racist?

Are you racist?

Have you ever put down another person based upon the color of their skin?

Are you racist?

Do you find yourself uncomfortable in the presence of people of different races or cultural backgrounds?

Are you racist?

Are you putting down people based upon your own cultural background and perceived slights towards you by a race other than your own?

Perhaps we are all racist, to some extent.

You know, it is easy to call other people racist. We can only answer that question for our own self.

I've found myself the victim of "reverse-racism" on more than one occasion. I bristle over talk about "putting down the white man" when what did I do? Did I hang, insult, slur, enslave, or treat anyone improperly? I've not treated any of these people who are displaying reverse-racism towards me in a racist way, to my knowledge.

Yet, in spite of this bristling over reverse-racism, I'm not sure I've been perfect, myself.

I've been guilty in the past of making silly jokes or even an improper comment on more than one occasion. I can only ask for forgiveness and hope to do better in the future.

It is about a choice.

For myself, I decided today to renew my decision to NOT be racist to the extent possible within my conscious choice. I've decided not to judge others based upon their skin color. I've decided not to make off-color jokes based upon someone's racial or cultural background. I am choosing the HIGH ROAD, or as Stevie Wonder says, the HIGHER GROUND of rising up to the best self I can be.

Can you do the same? If I fail or fall down, I can only hope you will not judge me. If you fall down, I will do my best to not judge you.

What happens when we judge others?

If you ever judge others and point the finger at someone, have you ever noticed how many fingers are pointing back at you? So few of us are innocent in this matter.

May we all live according to our highest self, stop condeming others, and live out of a spirit of love. Can we move from a land of anger and resentment, to a land of hope, love, acceptance, unity, and courage? Each of us - the choices we make in each moment - can decide if this dream of a future can become reality.

Special link for people seeking to manifest more of their dreams:

Click here to get your own OrangePeel: Vision Board software.

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What Men Want

What Do Men Want From Women?

This is a popular article at AspireNow that provokes a lot of questions. Women have been trying to answer this question for ages, and shelves of self-help books try to resolve the differences between men and women by considering we're from different planets.


A recent poll said that the average person is willing to spend 6 months' salary to find their true love.

Many women ask the question "What do men want?" to their women friends and sometimes they'll ask their guy friends. If women would approach men with a few simple, effective guidelines, they'll be much more likely to get exactly what they want from men: a fulfilling, healthy, happy relationship.

Here are the guidelines to understand what men want:


1. Men want a fun and exciting (female) companion.
2. Men want great sex (consistent, frequent, and passionate lovemaking score high with men).
3. Men want to share meals with their woman companion (especially when she cooks for him).
4. Men want you to support them in their work and boost their confidence.
5. Men want you to look great, keep in shape, and express confidence about your body.
6. Men want you to listen to them and treat them with respect.
7. Men need private time, to unwind, to engage in sports and hobbies, and to spend time with other men.

For the detail on these tips, as well as further information about what men want, visit the top-rated article at AspireNow:

http://www.aspirenow.com/smooth_10_00_what_men_want.htm

An update: Even though I wrote this article 7 years ago, I'm finding that in my discussions with men, it's still pretty simple. Men want love as much as women, we just go about it a bit differently. You'll notice that guys will talk side by side, where a woman wants the man directly in front of her. There are subtle differences like this that make a man different than a woman.

As much as society is more supportive of women, men struggle with the modern woman. The reason for this is that the man still feels a need to provide. He still wants to hunt and kill, but in modern civilization this is simply not what's going on. We're in the information age: an age that women can thrive in. So, women need to recognize this and boost the man for what he can bring, and still ask him to do things, physically, for her -- even if she IS capable of doing it herself. A smart woman let's him do this for her, to some extent. A smart woman keeps herself in shape.

This is important to both sexes, but even more for a man. A smart woman will make trade-offs and compromise on activities to sometimes do what he wants, other times what she wants.
It's cool to go shopping if I know we might watch a football game together afterwards. It's fun to go dancing if I know you'll also come to my gig. See, those are examples from my own life.

A smart woman will make meals together a priority. Time together, in general, is critical to any relationship, but, especially meal time. I believe that the family that prays together stays together. The easiest time to pray together is before a meal, during grace. So, I make that a habit. It's just a heatlhy way to connect spiritually. A smart woman will keep the sex alive by trying new and fun things, suggesting things to him, and teasing him from time to time. Why is Playboy and Penthouse still the top two men's magazines, while Ladies Home Journal and Better Homes and Garden the top two women's magazines? Clearly, men are turned on by sex, women by homes. So, create a nice home for him, cook a nice meal, but then turn it on in the bedroom. Sometimes, I think it's fun to cook for her, especially if I know she's going to be cooking later. :)

Do you want to know more about what men want? Learn more at AspireNow.com - see Smooth Sailing for our relationship articles.

More related articles here at the A-blog:

Looking for fun things to do on a date? 31 Fun Dating Ideas
Find The Man Of Your Dreams
Why 'The Terminator' Is Deadly In Relationships

This article is copyright 2007 by AspireNow. All rights reserved.

Visit the A-blog at http://aspirenow.blogspot.com/ for more articles like this.
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This article is written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow. Copyright 2002/2007. All rights reserved.

You may republish this article only AS A COMPLETE WHOLE with ENTIRE LINKS and copyright messages attached. All rights reserved. To get more valuable dating tips and other advice on abundance, subscribe to the A-Blog.

A few more ways to "Heal A Broken Heart"

I received this email today:

"First I would like to thank Scott for writing such an amazing and helpful article [Healing A Broken Heart] about how to deal with a broken heart, however I still have a question regarding this theme, I'm having a very hard time getting over my ex, and although I'm trying to stop thinking about her, it's not working very well and my surroundings aren't helping very much either. I think about her everyday, and everyday I realize that i still love her as much as I always have, but also everyday it hurts to think that I cannot have her, and it is taking over my life. I don't know what to do, please I'm reaching out for help...what can I do? Sincerely,"

[name withheld]


Here's what I wrote back:

"Hi [name withheld],

Thanks for writing. I'm not sure that the article ought not been enough for you, but I'll dig into this a little deeper. Also, listen to today's AspireNow show at NowLive, I recorded it special just for you.

But, in your case, I have special advice, which, keep in mind, is for entertainment purposes only. My disclaimer I have to give because I'm not a licensed psychotherapist.

First question: how long as it been since your separation? If longer than three months, I'd suggest you consider a little therapy to help you move on with someone who IS licensed. It might help.

I was talking with my brother when I read your email. I read the question to him and he said, "well, I'd pop a beer, say F*#@ it, and then move on," but you can't say that on your website!

Hmm. I can't? Why not? I suppose it is wrong to condone drinking, but the point is symbolic: have a moment, then get over it. Be a man, suck it up and move on would be Craig's advise. Then, after the humor, he said a therapist helped him in a similar situation. I think he may be right on that one. Me, I got over my thing on my own. The article shares what I did. Here, I'll share a little more.

So, have your moment to wallow, but you've got to move on.

What I would do in your shoes, is the following:

1. Focus on me. My needs, my goals, who I am, how I matter in the world. Do that. As Shakespeare wrote, "to thine own self be true."

2. Re-frame the relationship. Sure you liked her. Sure, she had some good qualities, but certainly she had a few you'd change, too, right? She wasn't the best. She wasn't the only one that would be good for you. That woman is still out there LOOKING for you and who will be OVERJOYED eventually once she knows you. Giver HER your energy rather than this ex (ex, in and of itself, denotes a thing of the past). There is more than just ONE woman who is THE ONE -- there are MANY GREAT WOMEN almost PERFECT for YOU.

3. Focus on your purpose, do that. Men need to be proactive in their ability to PROVIDE. Be a good provider, first for yourself, then maybe you can worry about others. Focus on friendships - with the SAME sex. Not to be gay, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying develop GREAT male friendships. Be a loyal friend. Here's the deal: a woman may come in your life or go but as soon as you break off the sex the friendship is damaged. Am I right, or am I wrong? It's been my experience that all these women I treated like "a best friend" aren't really HERE now. My guy friends, on the other hand, are good as gold. Those friendships matter more, in the long run, than many dating relationships.

4. Focus on the four L's: LAUGH, LEARN, LOVE, LIFE ... what makes you laugh? what have you always wanted to LEARN? what do you LOVE most? and what in LIFE do you MOST want to DO? Do those things. Don't wait, do them, do them, do them. As you focus more and more on those things, you'll forget the past.

Here's the thing. I still love many women I dated. The one that ripped my heart out could receive hatred, should I chose to waste that emotion on her. I'd rather put that energy into forgiveness, and moving on to WHO I NEED TO BE, SAY, and DO as a MAN, right now. So, that's what I do. After all, the best revenge is living well, to quote a deserved cliche.

I hope this helps. If this does help you, feel free to contribute to AspireNow's donation box, any amount is always appreciated! :)

Best to you,
Scott Andrews, Founder
http://www.AspireNow.com
info@AspireNow.com"

See, the real issue is even the nature of writing this email, this fine gentleman is displaying, to me, that he's just having a hard time letting go. I think, the idea of popping a cold one, having your moment, then focusing on what YOU want, is really the key to all of this. I think it is important to FEEL the emotions, then PUSH forward with our life.

And, I wish this particular reader the very best in success in doing so!

What are your thoughts on moving on from your ex? Are there any other wise ideas from amongst our readers? I'm always looking for ways to improve upon our primary articles.