Help Us Improve AspireNow

Hi - As you know I'm always grateful to interact with you, my AspireNow readers.

I'm just poking my head into your day or email inbox to ask you a quick poll survey to help me improve AspireNow. Can you take 15 seconds and share your insight(s) with me?

You can click here: http://micropoll.com/t/KDly9ZBBle or click on the Poll in the left side of the AspireNow blog side bar to enter your poll question result.

Thanks for helping me improve AspireNow products!

Aspirationally,

Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow.

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On Death and Dying

I must admit, death and dying is my least favorite topic to write about.

In fact, I don't know what is "FUN" about dying. Not unless maybe you go out the way James Dean did. It is rumored the last thing James Dean said, as his race car was rounding the dangerous connection of Highway 46 and Highway 41, "He's got to see us, he's got to..." But the driver didn't see James and smashed practically head-on into his car. He was later pronounced dead on arrival at Paso Robles War Memorial hospital. But at least he was driving his bad-ass Porsche Spyder and doing what he loved - racing cars.

Some people don't get that privilege.

For those, I suppose all we can do is support, show love, and do our part to ease their suffering.

I don't "do" death very well. I'm more about living, loving, and having a ton of fun. Can you relate? I guess the only thing I can say about death, today, is a bit of retrospective thought:

On DEATH and DYING, I can only ask a question about how are you living, right now:

Are you living a life you can be thrilled to have left behind?

Yes _______ No ________

If you checked No, what would you change?

Start today, don't wait.

"Whatever dreams you haven't lived, start today.
Whatever friends you've been avoiding or ignoring, reconnect.
Whatever family members you've let down, rebuild the love."

~ Scott Andrews

Whatever way you can be the best you can be, start now.
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7 Insights Into the Meaning of Life

I am crying my eyes out right now. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and dropping into my lap.

Okay, the headline "I'm crying my eyes out" sounds a little like I'm sad, but I'm not. In fact, I'm full of JOY! Let me take a step or two back and share how I got to this state of sitting here, tears of joy streaming down my face, to write this article about 7 Insights Into the Meaning of Life.

I just watched a movie called Julie and Julia. Yes, I'm a sap. But a good sap. Because this movie shares some moments that are so core to us as humans and why we are here on this planet that simply MOVED me. I will share them with you as 7 insights into the meaning of life (inspired by the movie Julie and Julia). (SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the movie, I encourage you to watch it before reading this article, as this article may spoil parts of the movie for you.)

What are these moments which led me to 7 insights into the meaning of life?

1. Connection. We are here to share connection and love with fellow human beings. The connection Julie felt to Julia Child inspired her in this movie. Julia Child loved her husband, and that connection led him to encourage her to follow her dream to master the joy of cooking.

Another one of these moments started because Julia Child decided one day to write someone who had written something she liked. His wife wrote back. And, they continued to write back and forth for eight years! Finally, one day, they meet. The supporting actress asks "you mean, you've never met her?" Julia replied and told her the story of how they've been pen pals for over seven years. Then when her pen pal walks in the building, dressed the way she described she would be, the experience is SHEER JOY in the meeting!

This is partly what our "meaning of life" is all about! It reminds me of sitting in the bar at Blue, a local restaurant in San Luis Obispo, when three women were having some sort of "girl's night out" at the table adjacent to me. They were dressed up in their various cocktail red and black attire. But they were not there to attract me. Nope. They were conversing about their lives, what's new at your work, how are the kids, and all of those topics. Then, the last of the bunch arrived. All three let our a scream like they were back in High School! That's connection!

How are you connecting with other people? Are you sharing moments of JOY? This is why we are here.

I recall a wise man, the author of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, who while speaking at the Whole Life Expo in San Francisco back in 2001 shared with our group "one drop of joy overcomes one thousand tears." I don't know if the quote originated with Goleman, but I liked it and it stuck. I believe it is true. So, share more moments of joy!

2. Purpose. One of the lead characters in the movie, Julie and Julia, is this woman Julie. She is married, and at the beginning of the movie she and her loving husband move above a noisy pizzeria in Queens, New York. She is frustrated with her work. She was supposed to be a WRITER. Instead, she's fielding telephone calls at a government agency handling frustrations people experience post-911. Possibly her purpose, in terms of helping others and gaining insights into pain, but not her purpose in terms of fulfilling her passion as a writer. It is clear in the beginning of the movie that she has taken an affinity to learning Julia Childs' recipes, and in sharing these with her husband he comes to appreciate her cooking. The recipes help! She doesn't like Queens very much. She makes it clear she liked living in Brooklyn more. But, Queens is closer to her husband's work.

Now, if you're paying attention, you know that AspireNow.com is all about helping people discover their purpose and then TAKE ACTION towards that purpose. Often, our purpose is right beneath our nose. Those of you who know me dearly also know that I started ARRiiVE.com to help people launch their dream. One of those methods I write about is to start a BLOG. Okay, with that in mind, let's continue...

3. Discovery. One night, Julie discusses that she'd like to start a blog. Why? Well, she explains to her husband that she needs an outlet, something that she ENJOYS other than feeding the cat, riding the subway, and listening to people moan about post 9-11 ills and issues. So, Julie and Erik partake in a discussion about the blog:

"You could blog about Queen's," he jokes.

"That would be a short one," she replies.

"Why not blog about cooking?" he probes, as he dives into another delicious course of their meal.

"Seriously, I'm not that good of a cook!" she replies.

"Neither are most cooks when they start. Tastes pretty darn good to me!" he reaffirms.

She agrees to the idea to start a blog about cooking. But what blog? How can she focus the blog to have a timeline?

4. The concept. Do you have a clear vision of your purpose? If not, start simple. One thing I love about Julie and Julia is how Julie, the blogger, starts with a simple thesis: to cook ALL the recipes in Julia Child's cookbook, How to Master The Art of French Cooking in 365 days - one year. This is no small feat. But it is a noble one. It is also probably important to note that any blog of value, where you blog daily, WILL take off, at some point. It won't seem like it in the beginning, because blogs take time to spread virally. But, eventually, the density of topics end up placing your articles at the top of the search engines for your categories. Once people find you through the search engines, they start to follow, comment, and SHARE your articles with each other. And this is how blogs grow.

5. The passion. You must have passion to back up your purpose. The beautiful thing about Julia Child is how passionate she was about cooking. She loved her husband. And she was passionate about cooking, so she did something to keep her busy while her husband was in Paris and learned to cook. You must be passionate about the subject of your purpose. For example, I am completely passionate about making a difference in people's lives, helping them find their purpose, and go live their dreams. Completely, 100%, lock-stock-and-barrel thrilled to share insights that might help you in your journey.

So, whatever you pick, be PASSIONATE about it. If you're a chef, that might be finding joy in the perfect ability to slice onions. Passionate people delight even in the drudgery of their duties.

As a musician, I am passionate about playing with my band, BODY. Even to the point that setting up and tearing down gear -- work the pros leave for their roadie -- is something I enjoy. It is all part of doing what I love: sharing music, playing my sax, standing up there on stage and letting the music flow through me to MOVE other people! It's a blast!

So, we must be passionate if we are to thrive in our purpose. One sign that you're passionate is when you're present even when dirty work must be done. People who love what they do want to master every aspect of that purpose. So, master your craft -- even the hard or dirty parts of it!

In Julie and Julia, Julie, the other lead character, through Julia's recipes and reading journal notes about her experiences, discovers that she loves Julia Child. It is a beautiful thing to see people write about someone they love. There will be an inescapable tenderness, kindness, and joy in the writing. And that is the type of passion that drove people to make Julie-Julia a top-read blog on cooking, and ultimately resulted in the success that became this delightful movie.

6. Persistence. Here is where most people slip up at some point. I'm not perfect on this, either. If I was, I'd have written three articles a week at AspireNow the past year. But, I didn't. Why? I thought I needed a break. Blogging can take a lot of time. However, I've spent just as much time writing and encouraging others on Facebook and in other ways. So, today, I recommit to start writing regularly in my blog again. I'm sure it will make a difference over the long-term to share stories like this with you, my readers.

Here are some interesting numbers I've discovered about blogs:

• People start noticing the blog after about 30 - 50 articles.
• People begin regularly following the blog, and sharing with others, after about 150 stories.
• People begin commenting more frequently between 300 and 1,000 stories - especially if these are daily experiences.
• Once a blog goes over 1,000 pages, if the writing is good, it ought to be a viable business, worth serious ad money. I'm not kidding. Aspirenow.com has fewer pages (as of this writing) than that and brings in hundreds of dollars a month to me in passive income. I'm certain that when I have over 1,000 pages on AspireNow.com, it will be worth thousands a month in passive income.

What begins as a side-interest can become a main "job" if you're passionate, persistent, and master your craft. I encourage those who are frustrated to get back on the path and re-focus your effort and take action again. It will pay off in the long run for you to do so.

7. Realization & Celebration. You realize your dream when you stay at it and then connect with other people through continuing to cycle through each of these previous 6 steps.

This is my goal for AspireNow and ARRiiVE's blogs: to go over 1,000 articles. Why? Because I've notices that blogs with that many pages tend to be at least a Google PR6, they are read by over 100,000 people - often over 1,000,000 people! And that type of reach is hard to get through the publishing world. You can influence many people with publishing power like that. Costly to buy, time -- even more time-consuming to gain -- but worth it. Yet, most of us can write every day for 10 years. Right? If you write three articles a week for a year, you will end up with 156 articles at the end of the year. At the end of ten years, you will have 1,560 articles. I may start accepting GUEST BLOGGERS to help me get there sooner, too! We'll see.

Persistence is the key. So, at the end of this movie, I sat there completely overjoyed that another human being had gone from feeling like despair... working in a job she hated, to starting a new "hobby", to discovering her hobby was her passion, to then realizing that passion led to all of her dreams she'd held since a child! YES! This is AspireNow!!!

I love the celebration scene at the end of Julie and Julia, when Julie has all her friends over for an incredible duck meal on the patio overlooking Queens and decorated by colorful candles, dressed up with a bouquet of flowers on the table, and the meal freshly served to her friends and family, she raises her glass in a toast, "365 days, and 524 recipes!" They all raise their classes, "here here! Yay!" celebrating, then dig into their duck meals. Erik, Julie's husband, exclaims over the food "Mmm... great..it's fantastic! I love it... I love it!" or something to that effect. Julie, realizing her love for her husband who stood by her through the tribulations of the effort, eating all the meals she served, clinks her glass again, "Erik, I could never have done this without you; as someone once said, 'you are the butter to my bread, the breath to my life.'" He looks back into her eyes and says, "I love you, too." And now you realize why I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face! Yep, I'm a hopeful romantic. So, seeing life purpose realized and true love realized, to me, is the best of both worlds! Can you relate?

It is truly beautiful to watch other people live their purpose. Especially when more people gather around that purpose with LOVE for each other!

Are you living your purpose? Are you showing LOVE and support to those who share their purpose with you? It is SPECIAL! Remember this!

If you need a little help discovering your purpose, I've re-opened the window for you where you may purchase my e-workbook and do the exercises in it. I don't "tell" you your purpose, I simply give you the tools (exercises and questions to ask) to know how to get to the real you.

You can find it here: Methods to Discover Your Purpose, by Scott Andrews

If you would like coaching to help you find your purpose. Call me at 805 ... 459 ... 6939 and I'll either help you directly or refer you to a partner coach who can help you out.

To recap, insights into the Meaning of Life, inspired by the movie Julie and Julia, are:

1. Connection.

Find ways to connect with GREAT other people. Often, through connecting with GREAT people, we may find it easier to realize our purpose.

2. Purpose.

It often begins with being dissatisfied with where we are, presently. Then asking questions to get to the root of what we really most want to do with our life.

3. Discovery.

When we start to ask question about what we might be passionate and good at we start to discover possible paths to purpose! That discovery is exciting. When you feel like you're on to something, take ACTION.

4. The Concept.

When we live passionately, and embrace our activities with passion, they have more meaning for us. Conceptualizing what the full vision of purpose may include is worth taking time to figure out. Get clear on your concept. I was very clear on the concept for AspireNow before launching the website. I'd spent over six months clarifying the vision of the website through a journal before launching the actual site and creating the logo. So, get clear on your concept, then take action with the focus towards accomplishing that concept!

5. Passion.

When we live passionately, and embrace our activities with passion, they have more meaning for both us and other people.

6. Persistence.

If you don't complete the path, you may not realize the success in your journey. You have to stay with it, even when it is hard. Remain persistent, steadfast, and complete the steps ahead of you and reach the goals you set for yourself. You will be so thrilled when you realize your dreams come true!

7. Realization and Celebration With Those We Love.

Take time to celebrate. When you realize a dream, invite friends and family over. Share some toasts with the people you love! Raise a few glasses. And let those who supported you along your journey know that you love them. Share appreciation with them for their support, and they'll likely continue to be thrilled to partake in your journey.

Remember that there are some people in this lifetime who have a special influence in your life. Treat them with care, learn to love them, and maybe they'll help you live your purpose along the way...

Have a terrific day!

Love,

Scott

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Take AspireNow's FB Breast Cancer Challenge

This past week, women all around the world, through the social network, Facebook, amused us men and surprised the world by sharing in their "status update" the color of their bra, in honor of people who've been affected by breast cancer.

The story made "Good Morning America" and other news shows as "women making a difference" and the "power of Facebook" and "social networks. Kudos, women!

In honor of this concept, I'd like to suggest we pick it up a notch, and post the color of bra you're wearing, or the color of the last bra you touched - so for every woman AND man to write a check for $10 to your local charter of American Cancer Society. In the remark or memo field on your check, write "AspireNow FB Bra (color) Cancer Challenge" and let's REALLY make a difference.

If every person who listed their color this last week, and every man who joked about it, sent a check for $10 to your local ACS, we might raise well over $1 Million Dollars to help find a cure and ease the pain and suffering of so many people.

Just do a local search in Google or your browser by typing your local city or county and "American Cancer Society" - ACS offices are everywhere.

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How To Be Happy

Have you ever asked "how do I become happy?"

Do you often experience times when you are sad, lacking fulfillment, or simply seeking more purpose? I've pondered this question over the past ten years and discovered a process to help me reconnect with my own happiness to be a happy person that, frankly, works better than any antidepressant medical doctors can prescribe.

How WE Can Be Happy People:

Most people agree that there is either (a) a creator who created this Earth who is an infinite being and omniscient (often referred to as "God") or (b) an energy in science that runs through all things that causes all mystery and things to be connected (quantum physics). For the sake of this article, let's just call both of these energies the SAME energy, or "God" consciousness. Although I recognize other people's choices in deciding to call energy or science "God" or even to call themselves "atheists" who don't believe in any God at all, I find that at the crux of my own happiness is a faith in such a divine being. I also find my own path to happiness is usually connected with finding ways to connect with that source of power. If you can find faith in God, you will typically begin discovering happiness, or light, from whatever darkness you might be experiencing. Just as our eyes must adjust to the sun when we emerge from a tunnel underground, it may take a little time to adjust to the light. After you blink a little, you can see the brilliant colors all around you! In fact, your greatest happiness may follow the deepest trials and tribulations. But this energy is all around you, at all times. Faith in that energy is the first step on the path to happiness.

This "God" energy is everywhere. It is omniscient.

This energy is both the light and the darkness - it comprises the whole of everything. This concept of both side comprising the whole is an Eastern thought - in Western religion, we've been told that these two energies are separate. But in my opinion, the Eastern viewpoint is much more in alignment with the nature of how things actually WORK in the world. In order to have energy flow through our electric current that supplies light in our households, we need both a positive and negative terminal. This is also proven by a simple Duracell battery, with the + and - terminals. Our own bodies have positive and negative energy flow. The light and dark are required for a full day on Earth. Even in basic elements of life energy, there is a positive and negative, but they are both required in order for the ENERGY to flow.

Take positive WITHOUT the negative, there is no flow of energy. Therefore, both are required elements. Within each person is a light and a dark side. When we embrace both sides of our self, we are more complete and the love energy within us may flow more fully.

Let's also consider that this energy is ALIVE. Not only alive, but that one word: LOVE, can be used to define it. Therefore, our life form is comprised of LOVE. God is LOVE. We are at ONE with GOD when we focus our energy on LOVE.

In Algebra, we are taught that if A = B, and if B = C, then A = C.

Applying Algebra to LIFE, consider this:

If GOD is LOVE, and if GOD is EVERYWHERE, then LOVE is EVERYWHERE.

That means no matter what life currently holds for you, love is all around you. Whether you are happy or sad, love is right next door to you. If you are feeling fulfilled or lacking, either way, love is right next to you. Love is around you whether you're seeing it or not. Love is actually WITHIN you even when you are unaware of it, too.

Consider this equation again as a possible formula for the Meaning of Life: if GOD is LOVE, and if GOD is EVERYWHERE, then LOVE is EVERYWHERE.

If love is all around you, and you, yourself, are filled with love, then you are connected with and can connect to that love. Embrace that love and happiness is immediately yours to discover. This is the secret meaning of life so many grapple for years to discover.

1. Connect with the source.

What are ways to connect to the love around us? I'll share a few ideas with you.

• Meditation. Meditating is focused intention of quieting our "chatter" mind so that we might HEAR more clearly and in a more profound way. Find a way to get yourself quiet and then listen. Meditating and breathing allows the energy to flow through the natural chakra source in our body.
• Walking (playing) in nature. Go into a garden. Go for a walk on the beach at the ocean or at a lake or river. Hike a mountain. Walk through a field of flowers. By getting into nature, we can find the source.
• Music. Music is a form of connecting to our chakra, as well. When we play each note of the scale, we are playing each natural tone in throughout the chakra. That is why music makes us feel... to the extent that music is harmonious we will feel the connection of source through our chakra energy.
• Paint or draw in color. Each chakra location in our spiritual energy is not only a note on the scale, it is also demonstrated through color. By focusing on various colors, we can attune our body with our spirit and be one with source. Try painting your dark side or things that make you feel dark. Then paint things that make you feel happy, joyful, and vibrant. Notice the colors you use. You may experience cathartic release and connect more deeply with your spiritual source and discover happiness through that activity.
  
• Connecting with another being. When we connect with an animal or person, we can connect to the source. A friend of mine shares coaching through experiencing connection through horses. It is amazing what we can learn through an animal, or through another person. Be open to possibilities! Another friend loves her kitty cat and finds when holding a cat on her lap, with the cat purring in content happiness, she becomes more happy from the experience. What ways can you connect through animals? It is different with other human beings, but there are numerous ways to connect to spirit through other people. Whether a gentle touch of the hand, a hug, a kiss, or even more intimate gestures may lead us to happiness, as long as the readiness and willingness is present and appropriate.
• Dance or Yoga. Through movement, we are able to connect to source. It depends on the type of dancing that you do. Partner dancing is a form of connecting to another person and source simultaneously. If you are seeking connecting to source on your own, dance solo like nobody is watching. Literally, when you move your body as if dancing for the universe you will open and unlock things you had not idea were closed off. I perform at a dance tribe with my sax every couple of months called the "YUM SESSION" - I do this because it is amazing to play music that helps people connect to that source - I love to help make it happen! (This is also why I'm writing this article!)

I love playing music to help people discover happiness. In working the energy of the room, I've discovered people experience the greatest release of happiness and joy when I first play something a little outside the scale - or discombobulated - causing their energy to shift and vibrate with the dark side...which would include the use of minor scales, then shift that back to positive energy, major scales. In doing the switch from minor to MAJOR, people experience joy and release! This brings happiness through music!

2. Consider others as yourself (The Golden Rule).

This may sound basic. The Golden Rule directly helps create happiness. If you want people to reach out to you, reach out to others. If you wish to play music with others, ask them to play music with you. If you wish to create wealth, help others create wealth. happiness starts with your first thought that may benefit another. Happiness grows stronger as you speak that which you think that is beneficial for others. Then happiness manifests with your actions that match the thought and speech.

The amazing thing about life, is that you often have to give some, to get some. In dating, a man will often show up with a present for his suitor. His gift is a symbol of affection. In sustaining the human body, we eat food in the form of animals or vegetables to maintain our energy. When we don't eat, we shut down and wither away. Energy from one life form is required to get more energy for our life form. GIVING is a secret to success. Sharing with each other helps us build happiness.

I recall reading a story in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, a book by Dale Carnegie, about a man who visited a woman who became despondent with worry and loneliness. While the man visited her, he noticed beautiful African Violets throughout her home. He suggested to her that she start to make new starts of her plants and then give them away to people in her community. When the woman passed away, hundreds of people attended her funeral. What happened to this lonely woman that she connected with so many people? Through her gifts of African Violets, she became known as the "African Violet Queen" - who touched so many people with the beautiful flowering plants for their celebrations and various life occasions. She gave love through her care with the flowering plants, and in return she received love from these people. 1

This is how life works. When we put aside our concerns over our fears and anxieties and embrace ways to love one another, our life truly rocks!

I'm not suggesting to love everyone without boundaries or without regard for "yes" or "no" - but to simply give when you have the thought to give. Reach out, connect, and share beatiful moments with each other and your life will be happier.

Spend time in nature. Embrace your artistic side. Find ways to transform from the dark side to the light through art and forms of expression. Then share your insights with others, remaining open to how others might share with you. Do all of this and watch how your happiness grows through repeat experience over time.

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1 - Carnegie, Dale. How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1984. Print.

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Maximize Dining Out Experiences

ELEGANT SIMPLICITY on DINING:

As with any tip in Elegant Simplicity theory, I always look at things we use or do often, and evaluate the way to get the VERY BEST EXPERIENCE from these action or possession choices.

The ELEGANT SIMPLICITY GUIDE TO MAXIMIZE DINING OUT:

In this case, let's evaluate dining out. When we dine out, we often wonder what to eat. We're presented a menu we hope is attractive to our palate. If we're restaurant shopping, we might even look at their menu BEFORE sitting down to eat. That is usually not the best way to pick a restaurant. Not only that, but once we're inside, how can we know our choice is the BEST choice on the menu?

Answer: poll people who eat there!

There are three ways you can poll the people who've dined at a restaurant.

1. Stop someone coming out of the restaurant you're intending to dine at and confirm they enjoyed their meal. You can ask a simple question "Excuse me - we're trying to choose a good place to eat for dinner and evaluating this restaurant. How was your dining experience, was it enjoyable for you?" and then decide after you hear their on-the-spot review.

2. Read a review. I love reading reviews about a restaurant. You can usually find reviews on the Internet, in food journals, in the newspaper, in special print newspapers, in books, and in travel coupon books. The reviewer will often describe their full meal experience, from service, to food quality, and anything special. If you're looking for something unique, a review will often give you insight into new ideas of where you might go to find a fun and enjoyable meal.

3. Ask friends. Your friends, if they have similarly good taste, we can hope will recommend good restaurants to you. I like to ask people "what are your favorite three restaurants you like to visit" and then ask them to take me there. Sometimes, people will have established relationships with the ownership and staff at their favorite restaurants. And, these relationships often end up in getting something extra - extra portions of wine, food, perhaps an item left off the bill - you just never know. So, take advantage (with dignity, of course) of opportunities when friends invite you out to their favorite haunts.

Okay, so these are all good ways to choose your restaurant.

But what about increasing the experience of pleasure while you're there?

1. Picking optimum time to dine. I like to be either slightly ahead of the rush hour, or slightly behind it, so as to ensure the wait staff will have the time to serve me. When placing a reservation with a maître d', ask them when is a good time to receive optimum service. First, this places in the maître d' mind that service is important to you. Second, they'll recommend times AROUND when that big corporate party is there, or times when they know their staff can best serve you. Too many people make the mistake of setting a reservation around THEIR needs, and forget that the establishment serving you has their own schedule they're trying to manage, too. Ideally, work around the host establishment's schedule and you'll optimize your experience. If a maître d' offered you especially good service, or routinely gives you an optimum seating table, consider slipping them a $5 or $10 spot through a handshake and say "thank you" on the way out the door. (Don't tip them before you get seated, as that may be looked at as a bribe and is a bit tacky.)

2. Knowing the menu. If, at all possible, you can preview the menu BEFORE you visit the restaurant, you will have an advanced idea what you might order. This is good, because you really don't want to spend much time ordering your food. Save the chit-chat for the back half of the meal so that your food is ordered as quickly as possible when you first arrive. Otherwise, you run the risk of hitting their rush hour traffic, or their "dead time" when they just want to go home. By knowing the menu, you also make it easy to order first.

3. Order first. This might sound odd, but people will generally choose what sounds best FIRST if they're given the opportunity to order first. However, when they order second, they are more likely to order something DIFFERENT just to prove they are "unique" in their choices. In his book, Predictably Irrational, Dan Ariely mentions that the person who orders first is usually satisfied with his choice, while the person who orders second or third, sequentially, might be dissatisfied with their order and experience regret. The other way to handle this problem of expectation is to allow everyone to order with a piece of paper without telling everyone else what they are eating. Maybe that is going too far. So, my rule of thumb is to look at a menu immediately, choose what I most want, and decide that is what I am ordering.

4. Go with your first choice. Typically, you'll be happier with your first choice than any choice that might follow.

5. Read the reviews. Usually, in a restaurant review, the person reviewing the restaurant will recommend a meal, too. Keep in mind that the meal they recommend was also often recommended by the OWNER of the restaurant. The owner knows what they cook the best (usually). So, reviews are highly useful. I like to read three or four reviews before visiting a new restaurant to give me a well-rounded look at possible dining experiences.

6. Ask other patrons. Asking patrons is useful if you're already sitting, and you look over and SEE their food, and it looks particularly scrumptious. In that instance, asking them "Hey, that looks great, I'd love to know what it is to help me decide ordering, what is it you're eating there?" may not be rude, depending upon whether you're in a five-star french restaurant or some place a bit more casual. If you're dining formally, refrain from asking. I've made new friends simply by asking someone if they enjoyed their particular order. My guess is the introverts will probably pass on this one.

7. Ask the staff. I like to ask the staff what their favorite dish on the menu might be. Then I ask them if they're a vegetarian or some other question to determine if we have similar dining taste. If they don't have the same taste as me, I'll order something different. Otherwise, I follow their recommendation. Be careful asking the staff, though, because they're paid to serve you, and also guided not to play favorites, in many instances. If they say "everything is good here" which obviously doesn't help decide, follow up with the question "What would you order for your best friend if they were here?" This will give you a more accurate insight into their favorite dish.

8. Outside in. When dining at fancy dinners such as corporate meals or wedding dinners, I used to struggle with which utensil to use for which dish. Can you relate? There's a rule about how they set your table for you, and as long as you know that rule, you'll never grab the wrong fork again. Top utensils are used for the soup and desert. Left utensils are used for the spoon and fork, right utensils are used for cutting and spreading, such as knives. Always work OUTSIDE IN. As long as you grab a utensil on the outside first, you'll be doing fine. Soups are usually before the salad, so that's what that big spoon is doing there. The desert will usually be the small fork or spoon on above your plate.

9. If you a coupon to present, ALWAYS tell the waiter about your coupon up front before they bring your bill - otherwise, they might have to re-ring this and that is extra work for them. Don't be rude to your server! In addition, make sure you have the coupon with you. A friend of mine became upset at the restaurant for not honoring a coupon that she FORGOT to bring! I told her she was silly to get upset as it was her fault in forgetting it. You'd be surprised the number of times that restaurants print fine details of their coupon offer on the back - such as hours, restrictions, and such. Read them BEFORE going to the restaurant to eliminate arguments with their staff. There is no reason to create a bad experience by demanding something that is not reasonable to the ownership.

10. Events and meals. If you're attending an event after your meal, ALWAYS tell the waiter (the person who takes your order, not the bartender or table server who brings water) about your event, so they can help keep an eye and not serve you slowly. Also, if your event is cutting it close, you might ask to order your meal to go, right from the get-go, so that you can eat it later if the meal is served too close to the time of your event. Don't make the restaurant responsible for your schedule. They might try their best and still cut it too close for you to make it on time.

11. Order water. You will eat less if you drink a glass of water prior to your main meal. Try not to fill up on bread and butter, or on chips and salsa, as these food choices are higher in carbohydrates and more likely to make you gain weight from dining out. Order wine if you truly want wine, but do not feel compelled simply because they ask you if you'd like a drink. Keep in mind that the prices on wine are marked up between 2.5 to 5 times the cost of the product. The restaurant's best margins are on the bar tab. Any time you can minimize your bar tab, you're likely to get a better value for your meal.

11. If you do order wine, and like "good" wine but not "excessively expensive" wine, I've usually found that the second wine up on the list (by the glass) is the best value for the money. If you're unsure which wine to choose, because you're unfamiliar with the winery, for example, then just choose the second from the cheapest. You'll pay between $8 and $10 a glass, which isn't too costly, and it will probably taste pretty good.

12. Doggie bag or "to-go" boxes. It used to be considered "tacky" to ask for a doggie bag. Not any more. Today, you can simply request "I'd like the rest of this to go, please" and any decent restaurant ought to help accommodate your request. If they bring you the box, you dish it up yourself. If they take it and do this for you, express a "thank you" for their effort. I often take half of a meal with me to eat later. There is no reason to overeat just because the food is served right then.

What are your ideas on maximizing dining out? Share them and help us all improve our dining experiences!

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What Is Success Worth To You?

Regarding how you view success, may I ask you a simple question?

"When you consider the PRICE of success, what is it WORTH to you?"

Why do I ask this?

Well, the fact is you will usually have to give up something to get something in life. Success is no different. Either you'll have to give up your steady job to focus on that part-time company, or you'll have to take time from sports, hobbies, or maybe even family in order to do it.

Case in point: back in the 1980's and 1990's a receiver played for the San Francisco 49ers who broke all of the receiving records in the NFL. You probably remember Jerry Rice. I loved Jerry for many reasons. He knew that if they could get the ball in his hands, that he could help them win games. And, win a lot of games is exactly what the 49ers did! What made Jerry different? If you stacked up all the tall, slender, fast receivers in the NFL with "good hands" he probably would have stood out as just one of the many if it weren't for two things:

1. Work ethic.
2. Execution.

Most people fail because they lack either of these two qualities. Jerry succeeded because he began his workout campaign in both strength, endurance, and speed exercises running up hills, bicycling, and running sprints when the others guys were taking time off playing and messing around during the "off-season". To Jerry, he didn't have much of an off-season. As soon as one season finished, he'd take a quick break, then immediately get back to work to prepare for the next year. Jerry also was the best I've seen at running specific patterns and being in the right place at the right time. This increased the chances that he would be in the right spot to make the catch. Then, he used his athleticism to make moves to run after the catch and make more yards than any receiver ever before or after!

If you are not currently *feeling* successful, the odds are likely something is not happening yet in your path to live your dreams. That something is the *release* of what is blocking you from walking (or running) on the path you need to take in order to realize your personal journey. Usually, what is blocking you is your work ethic: the way you spend your time is not conducive to you winning the way you intend. Or, you are not executing on your plan. Either you stop and give up or change directions so often you never master any one thing.

If you take anyone great, the reason they become great is usually because they spend a lot of time, energy, and focus mastering their subject. Their sole intention is to master this area and know it better than anyone else. Usually, this mastery leads to higher pay, more options in career choice, and higher rewards in other ways, too.

Can you dig what I'm talking about?

How does your thinking match your ability to manifest what you want? I recently spoke with someone about a job they'd interviewed for the preview week:

"Did you get the job?" I asked. "I'm not sure yet... but I like the pay!" She replied. "The pay is good, then?" I continued, trying to pry without prying. "Hey - it beats social work!" She finished.

Well, yeah! What doesn't beat social work pay, right? So, I don't think she'd exactly set the bar high for what she considered high pay. But, if she was happy, then she'd factored the value of pay, time, and lifestyle into her choice of employment.

I once asked a group of seminar attendees a question regarding money.

Please write down your answer to this question:

"How much money do you feel you are worth an hour?"


Okay, did you write down your own answer?

Here is an interesting chart that will show you what you think you're worth:



Source: AspireNow.com

Most people will identify with this chart (above) in relation to money and the hours they work. Keep in mind, if you're working 12 hour days to make that same money, you might as well reduce your hourly worth by 1/3 because you're working that much harder to earn your keep.

But what if your goals are to make $1 Million a year? If you want to earn $10 Million a year, then what are you worth per hour?

Well, I don't even have to break out my calculator to tell you that if you make $1 Million a year then you'd better think of your hourly worth as $600 an hour, approximately. If you want to earn 10x that, then your hourly worth is about $6,000 an hour! If your time was worth $6,000 per hour, how would you spend it? What things do you do now that you would hire someone else to do? Can you make any of those changes NOW? (Hey - this is called AspireNOW for a reason!)

Have you ever thought of money like this before? If not, now is the time to start rethinking how you approach money.

If you are going to have a "millionaire" approach to money, then your worth per hour is now, from this day forward, $600 per hour.

When I, personally, made this shift in mindset, I started to say:

"I am now worth $600 per hour."

Does this change how you feel about housework? Playing that game of solitaire during your lunch break? Talking to that friend who just chatters away time meaninglessly every day? I'm not saying to become a jerk and never help out around the house, never have fun playing, or cut out every friend who isn't rich. I'm just suggesting that you consider your time WISELY. Make it count: every second of it! And, make your money count, too! Because the money you make will make you more money if you use it to work for you, rather than against you (accumulate assets rather than debt).

Next, consider the intrinsic value you receive from the activities in your life. For one week, break down how you spend your time. Each day, write down how many hours you spend on each activity. For example:

Eating
Sleeping
Working For Someone Else's Dreams
Working Towards Your Dreams
Getting Kids Ready
Driving/Commute
Travel
Resting
Thinking
Playing/Leisure
Sports/Working Out
Education - In Class
Reading A Magazine
Reading A Book
Personal Care
Sexual Proclivity
Talking On The Phone
Religious Activities - Praying, Meditating, Attending Service
Computer (break down time surfing, social networking, playing, or working)
Watching TV or a Movie
and so forth...

After a week or two of tracking, you'll have an idea what is important to you, based upon how you spend your time. After you've done this exercise, consider: does this way I spend my time match how I see myself in success? If the answer is "no", consider remapping how you spend your time!

The majority of people who do not accomplish their dreams often spend a considerable amount of time doing things like mowing the lawn, shopping, watching television, laundry, or driving to and from work. Obviously, while you're doing these things, you are typically not doing the things that can help you accomplish your dream(s).

When you're considering what is success worth to you, factor in the money, and factor in how you define success in time, people, and lifestyle. Then start to plan for your future with that revised understanding and mentality. Here's to our mutual success!

Bonus Time Management Section:

Interactive Chart: How Americans Spend Their Time

According to the NY Times: "At 9 p.m., nearly two-fifths of people are in front of the television. But at almost any hour of the day, a larger share of unemployed people are watching television or movies."

Bonus tip:
How to be twice as effective as the average person in America?

Stop watching television and spend that time networking, developing a company, or bettering YOU. My comment: Don't be "typical" - be unusual! Cut out the stuff that burns time like television and your productivity will increase. Plus, you'll have more of a social life!

The average American with High School education spends almost as much time watching television as they do working! (Note: The American with an Advanced Degree spends only 1/4 the amount of time working watching television, but this is still over an hour a day, on average.)

Related articles:
Value of Our Time
8 Tips for Healthier Living
Create More Financial Success

Related products:
Keys To Discovering Your Purpose
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Copyright © 2009 AspireNow. Chart by NY Times - see article there for interactive chart - it is interesting to see where people spend time.

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