How to Cope With Pressure

In our lives, we often face moments of pressure. This pressure may take form in several types of challenge(s):

1. Lack of financial resources to cope with expenses.
2. A decline in health which lowers our physical vitality.
3. Limited time to accomplish a large number of tasks.
4. Lack of a partner to help us accomplish our mission.
5. Other...

At the time when we feel pressure, you may notice your own "fight or flight" responses kicking in. You might feel a sense of worry. Perhaps you may shut down entirely, unable to cope as you normally cope. You may not feel able to tackle the challenges of the world. At a time like this, the pressure then grows, rather than reduces.

I write this article to offer some simple and proven methods to cope with pressure more effectively.

If your pressure is at work, you might consider coping by doing the following:

• Focus on what is most important right now.
• Reduce pressure from computer tasks by taking breaks every hour.
• Organize your desk to better cope with tasks.
• Make sure to get time away from work to retain a sense of balance.

If your pressure is at home, consider coping with that pressure by:

• Cleaning up your living space.
• Organizing your living space.
• Simplifying and/or eliminating clutter.
• Asking children to take part in helping out.

You may notice that in both home and work situations, I suggested to organize and clean up your space. This is because we often let our space become messy and disorganized when we face high stress. This clutter increases the tension and makes it harder to succeed. By organizing our work space, we can work more effectively, whether at office or home.

In addition, I suggest you make time for exercise. When you feel pressure, your body may need exercise to release toxin and replenish healthy cells. Half of back pain may be cured simply through better oxygen flow through the body. So, if your challenge is health-related, consider ways to oxygenate your system (water, exercise, stretching, dancing, playing music, eating healthier, vitamin supplements, air, sunshine, etc.).

Make sure you breath in healthy air. If you breath healthy air, you can think better. Eat at regular times, smaller meals, throughout the day. This helps balance your system.

Last, tackle the objectives that will most likely reduce the pressure the most. For example, if the pressure on you feels like a financial challenge, consider what ways you can quickly pump more financial resources through your account to better handle these challenges. For me, that might be offering a new workshop or speaking in more places. What ways do you create financial freedom? Focus on the activities that give you the freedom you need and your pressure will be relieved.

Remember this above all else: almost all worry is unnecessary. If you instead focus on what you CAN DO in this moment, RIGHT NOW, you can relieve pressure and cope with the challenges at hand, almost every single time. I encourage you to do so, starting this very moment!

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How To Succeed As The Top 1%

If you are like me, you want to be the BEST in your field. I wrote an article on my blog I’ll reprint here for you to review:

If you want to be in the top 1% of your field, you must do these seven things:

1. Make a decision to be in the top 1% of your field. Get in line.
2. Decide to operate from INTEGRITY.
3. EMULATE the top experts.
4. Utilize techniques they use to be the BEST.
5. Use LEVERAGE to leap-frog up the "line" to the top.
6. Give more. The more you give without expectation of return, the more you will get back from the most unexpected sources. If you're pitching, make your pitch about HOW YOU HELP THEM.
7. Manage Your Money. Use money wisely.

You may notice when I talk about how to succeed as the Top 1%, I did not mention you have to be smarter, get better grades, back-stab your co-workers, or talk about how great you are. Some of these things might help; but, in all honesty, they are not required. In some cases, these things are detrimental.

Let us break down How to Success As The Top 1% a Bit More:

1. Make a decision to be in the top 1% of your field.

Why do we need to make a decision? Because we must know we wish to land before we board a plane. We must choose that path and then follow it. In any field of interest, there is a path to success. If you wish to be President, you'll likely be a Governor or Senator first. That's the path for President. If you wish to be CEO of a major corporation, you'll likely need to be Manager, Director, VP, then Sr. VP, before CEO. Unless you launch your own company, in which case you’re the CEO much sooner. Note: be careful what you ask for! If you wish to be the best in music, you first learn choose an instrument based upon your interest. Then, you join or start a band. Then you play with other bands, and you play better and better gigs and better and better bands to larger and larger crowds. This is how the best reach the top. But first, you must make a decision about what to play!

Key: When you make a decision to succeed as the top 1% in your field, you make a decision because this is equivalent to GETTING IN LINE. In High School and College, there were lines for sorts of things. You stood in line to sign up for school. You stood in line to sign up for classes. You stood in line to buy books. They even had a line for food! Well, if you wanted to get your food for a break, you had to get in line or the food hardly ever showed up (unless you asked a friend to buy for you). So, you pretty much had to get in line. Are you in line in your field? Are you participating? It starts there.

2. Decide to operate from INTEGRITY to be THE BEST.

Why does integrity influence success? Well, your character is WHO YOU ARE. Character is what defines you in moments that challenge you. Your integrity is who you are when you fail. Will you keep giving? Will you remain honest?

I read an article in Fortune Magazine last month about how Steve Jobs became the #1 CEO in the world through his excellent choices in product, marketing, and launch products like the iMac, iPod, and iPhone. However, if you go back to his company, NeXT, at one point I recall reading an article back in 1992 that pointed out all the ways Steve lied about the NeXT's capabilities. If you’re a known name, someone will often track your HONESTY! Interestingly, NeXT failed as a computer company. They DID succeed as a software operating system, which parlayed Steve rejoining Apple. But, selling NeXT to Apple for the operating system was the only play left for NeXT at that time. Since then, I've noticed Steve's new integrity is to say things much more accurate about Apple products. His integrity improved, and so did his success.

What builds a business's success? Answer: your word of mouth.

Your word of mouth comes from what you do AFTER the first sale. They must first come to you the first time. Then, they must come back, and bring their friends. They will only do that if your word of mouth is solid. Your reputation comes from the quality of your work and the integrity of your character. Make both rock-solid and you will success as the top 1%.

3. EMULATE the top experts to succeed as the top 1%

I once met the top salesperson in the region at my company. I was striving, at the time, to climb the ladder at that company. When I met with this salesperson, the first thing I noticed: his dress. He dressed impeccably.

Second, I noticed he knew the industry better than anyone else. Then, he told stories and made jokes to make his point. As I picked his mind, I learned several things how to succeed. I utilized each of those techniques and rose to the best in my region that very same year.

This is what I did when I started to form the basis for content for Cold to Gold. Today, I am teaching others how to do it.

To succeed like the Top 1%, pick the mind of the best, dress like the best, and learn what they do.

4. Utilize techniques the BEST use to be the TOP 1%.

You may recall I mentioned how the “BEST” in my region told me stories and made jokes to make a point? Most CEOs use that technique, too.

Humor is a sign of creativity. There is a direct correlation between creativity and success. Therefore, become more creative. Paint. Play music. Draw. Hold "Brain Storming" sessions. Utilize your creativity to drive the quantity of ideas.

Many ideas do not work. In fact, over 90% of ideas are “bad” ideas. But the most you create, the more ideas flush out into the 10% “good” ideas. And, as you build habits of learning “good” ideas, your success will expand dramatically.

As you try more ideas, you start to learn which types of ideas DO work. As you implement those ideas, your success will skyrocket!

5. Use LEVERAGE to leap-frog up the "line" to the top.

a. LEVERAGE your contacts or network.
b. LEVERAGE your knowledge.
c. LEVERAGE your tactics.
d. LEVERAGE your attitude.
e. LEVERAGE your follow-up.

When I'm talking about LEVERAGE, there are several aspects to LEAP FROGGING. But know this: the key to get to the top 1% most quickly is LEVERAGE. Build a strong network. Build up, and build wide. Build your knowledge. What you know relates to your impact upon others. Build your tactics. As you learn new tactics, you learn new approaches to succeed. Leverage your attitude. People love positive people. Leverage your follow-up. People tend to do business with those who follow-up the BEST. The BEST follow-up and win because THEY HELP YOU REMEMBER THEM.

6. Give. The more you give without expectation of return, the more you will get back from the most unexpected sources. If you're pitching, make your pitch about HOW YOU HELP THEM.

When I talk about giving, I talk about attitude. Don't criticize people. Have you ever noticed that Hollywood actors rarely say anything negative actors? This is the key to success in your career. Be nice! Don't let people walk over you, but be nice! Give, without the expectation of return. You'll be surprised how much other people start to do things for you. This is because you built goodwill and left them with a positive impression of you or your business. The #1 most valuable thing a company owns is goodwill. The same thing holds true for individuals. You build your goodwill by "doing good" for others. So, do good. Give. Volunteer. Make the effort others don't.

7. Money. Use money wisely.

When we first start a business, we often feel like we re-entered the sales business. We sell our house, sell our belongings, sell our car!

Seriously!

When we have money, we attract more opportunities to make more money. It takes money to make more money. If you don't have money, become something. Save money. Treat your money wisely. Why does money matter? The answer is simple. Money is a form of energy. If we waste our money, then we will likely waste other energy, too. People notice waste and don’t want any part of it. So, don’t waste energy. Don’t waste money. Don’t waste time.

When you are in debt, it causes stress! You do not need the stress. So, use your money wisely - it will keep your peace of mind, your character, your health, and all these things relaxed.

And the top 1% don't waste very much money or energy. They use it wisely.

Use all these steps to propel your success into the Top 1%.

Please comment and let me know how you feel about these tips! Thanks for reading!

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How To Be Happy

Have you ever asked "how do I become happy?"

Do you often experience times when you are sad, lacking fulfillment, or simply seeking more purpose? I've pondered this question over the past ten years and discovered a process to help me reconnect with my own happiness to be a happy person that, frankly, works better than any antidepressant medical doctors can prescribe.

How WE Can Be Happy People:

Most people agree that there is either (a) a creator who created this Earth who is an infinite being and omniscient (often referred to as "God") or (b) an energy in science that runs through all things that causes all mystery and things to be connected (quantum physics). For the sake of this article, let's just call both of these energies the SAME energy, or "God" consciousness. Although I recognize other people's choices in deciding to call energy or science "God" or even to call themselves "atheists" who don't believe in any God at all, I find that at the crux of my own happiness is a faith in such a divine being. I also find my own path to happiness is usually connected with finding ways to connect with that source of power. If you can find faith in God, you will typically begin discovering happiness, or light, from whatever darkness you might be experiencing. Just as our eyes must adjust to the sun when we emerge from a tunnel underground, it may take a little time to adjust to the light. After you blink a little, you can see the brilliant colors all around you! In fact, your greatest happiness may follow the deepest trials and tribulations. But this energy is all around you, at all times. Faith in that energy is the first step on the path to happiness.

This "God" energy is everywhere. It is omniscient.

This energy is both the light and the darkness - it comprises the whole of everything. This concept of both side comprising the whole is an Eastern thought - in Western religion, we've been told that these two energies are separate. But in my opinion, the Eastern viewpoint is much more in alignment with the nature of how things actually WORK in the world. In order to have energy flow through our electric current that supplies light in our households, we need both a positive and negative terminal. This is also proven by a simple Duracell battery, with the + and - terminals. Our own bodies have positive and negative energy flow. The light and dark are required for a full day on Earth. Even in basic elements of life energy, there is a positive and negative, but they are both required in order for the ENERGY to flow.

Take positive WITHOUT the negative, there is no flow of energy. Therefore, both are required elements. Within each person is a light and a dark side. When we embrace both sides of our self, we are more complete and the love energy within us may flow more fully.

Let's also consider that this energy is ALIVE. Not only alive, but that one word: LOVE, can be used to define it. Therefore, our life form is comprised of LOVE. God is LOVE. We are at ONE with GOD when we focus our energy on LOVE.

In Algebra, we are taught that if A = B, and if B = C, then A = C.

Applying Algebra to LIFE, consider this:

If GOD is LOVE, and if GOD is EVERYWHERE, then LOVE is EVERYWHERE.

That means no matter what life currently holds for you, love is all around you. Whether you are happy or sad, love is right next door to you. If you are feeling fulfilled or lacking, either way, love is right next to you. Love is around you whether you're seeing it or not. Love is actually WITHIN you even when you are unaware of it, too.

Consider this equation again as a possible formula for the Meaning of Life: if GOD is LOVE, and if GOD is EVERYWHERE, then LOVE is EVERYWHERE.

If love is all around you, and you, yourself, are filled with love, then you are connected with and can connect to that love. Embrace that love and happiness is immediately yours to discover. This is the secret meaning of life so many grapple for years to discover.

1. Connect with the source.

What are ways to connect to the love around us? I'll share a few ideas with you.

• Meditation. Meditating is focused intention of quieting our "chatter" mind so that we might HEAR more clearly and in a more profound way. Find a way to get yourself quiet and then listen. Meditating and breathing allows the energy to flow through the natural chakra source in our body.
• Walking (playing) in nature. Go into a garden. Go for a walk on the beach at the ocean or at a lake or river. Hike a mountain. Walk through a field of flowers. By getting into nature, we can find the source.
• Music. Music is a form of connecting to our chakra, as well. When we play each note of the scale, we are playing each natural tone in throughout the chakra. That is why music makes us feel... to the extent that music is harmonious we will feel the connection of source through our chakra energy.
• Paint or draw in color. Each chakra location in our spiritual energy is not only a note on the scale, it is also demonstrated through color. By focusing on various colors, we can attune our body with our spirit and be one with source. Try painting your dark side or things that make you feel dark. Then paint things that make you feel happy, joyful, and vibrant. Notice the colors you use. You may experience cathartic release and connect more deeply with your spiritual source and discover happiness through that activity.
  
• Connecting with another being. When we connect with an animal or person, we can connect to the source. A friend of mine shares coaching through experiencing connection through horses. It is amazing what we can learn through an animal, or through another person. Be open to possibilities! Another friend loves her kitty cat and finds when holding a cat on her lap, with the cat purring in content happiness, she becomes more happy from the experience. What ways can you connect through animals? It is different with other human beings, but there are numerous ways to connect to spirit through other people. Whether a gentle touch of the hand, a hug, a kiss, or even more intimate gestures may lead us to happiness, as long as the readiness and willingness is present and appropriate.
• Dance or Yoga. Through movement, we are able to connect to source. It depends on the type of dancing that you do. Partner dancing is a form of connecting to another person and source simultaneously. If you are seeking connecting to source on your own, dance solo like nobody is watching. Literally, when you move your body as if dancing for the universe you will open and unlock things you had not idea were closed off. I perform at a dance tribe with my sax every couple of months called the "YUM SESSION" - I do this because it is amazing to play music that helps people connect to that source - I love to help make it happen! (This is also why I'm writing this article!)

I love playing music to help people discover happiness. In working the energy of the room, I've discovered people experience the greatest release of happiness and joy when I first play something a little outside the scale - or discombobulated - causing their energy to shift and vibrate with the dark side...which would include the use of minor scales, then shift that back to positive energy, major scales. In doing the switch from minor to MAJOR, people experience joy and release! This brings happiness through music!

2. Consider others as yourself (The Golden Rule).

This may sound basic. The Golden Rule directly helps create happiness. If you want people to reach out to you, reach out to others. If you wish to play music with others, ask them to play music with you. If you wish to create wealth, help others create wealth. happiness starts with your first thought that may benefit another. Happiness grows stronger as you speak that which you think that is beneficial for others. Then happiness manifests with your actions that match the thought and speech.

The amazing thing about life, is that you often have to give some, to get some. In dating, a man will often show up with a present for his suitor. His gift is a symbol of affection. In sustaining the human body, we eat food in the form of animals or vegetables to maintain our energy. When we don't eat, we shut down and wither away. Energy from one life form is required to get more energy for our life form. GIVING is a secret to success. Sharing with each other helps us build happiness.

I recall reading a story in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, a book by Dale Carnegie, about a man who visited a woman who became despondent with worry and loneliness. While the man visited her, he noticed beautiful African Violets throughout her home. He suggested to her that she start to make new starts of her plants and then give them away to people in her community. When the woman passed away, hundreds of people attended her funeral. What happened to this lonely woman that she connected with so many people? Through her gifts of African Violets, she became known as the "African Violet Queen" - who touched so many people with the beautiful flowering plants for their celebrations and various life occasions. She gave love through her care with the flowering plants, and in return she received love from these people. 1

This is how life works. When we put aside our concerns over our fears and anxieties and embrace ways to love one another, our life truly rocks!

I'm not suggesting to love everyone without boundaries or without regard for "yes" or "no" - but to simply give when you have the thought to give. Reach out, connect, and share beatiful moments with each other and your life will be happier.

Spend time in nature. Embrace your artistic side. Find ways to transform from the dark side to the light through art and forms of expression. Then share your insights with others, remaining open to how others might share with you. Do all of this and watch how your happiness grows through repeat experience over time.

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1 - Carnegie, Dale. How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1984. Print.

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Random Manifestation Events Discussion

Do you ever discover random events to help manifest dreams?

A crazy thing just happened to me! While posting the most recent 3 articles at AspireNow's blog:

Manifest Your Dream In Eight Words

Why Most People Fail At Job Hunting

Astounding Book Gets Burned

Facebook offered me a chance to type in "captcha" words proving I'm human and not a spam-bot. Normally, these words are totally random and mean nothing.

But these two words stood out like a total "aha" moment to me:

$190-Million Antibody

Now, mind you, I've never worked on an antibody. I don't really know that much about science. In fact, science is probably my education weak spot (although I've been working to strengthen that knowledge). But, as someone who helps people launch products, companies, and services (see ARRiiVE.com), this one stood out.

Perhaps a scientist is going to approach me in the next month, quarter, or year with an idea for an antibody that will help cure a disease or something. Whatever the case, $190 Million is nothing to sneeze at, no pun intended!

What random events of manifesting dreams are happening around you? Are you paying attention? Join my discussion on random events either here on this blog or at AspireNow's Facebook group and share your experiences!
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Manifest Your Dream In Eight Words

Do you remember the television show called "Name that tune?" I used to love watching it and trying to guess the song in even fewer notes than the contestants could guess!

Well, this article is kind of like that show, but I'm calling it "Manifest Your Dream In Eight Words." This is the shortest article I'll ever write on MANIFESTING your DREAMS. In fact, I can say all that really needs to be said about manifesting in just eight words!

How to Manifest Any Dream In EIGHT words:

Focus and Act Only Upon What You Want

There. That's it. It's all you need to know. Just go do that, do only that, and do it to the best of your ability. You will manifest many more dreams following the advice of these eight words than any other words I could give you.

It is almost like Nike's saying: "Just do it" except this is more specific - exactly what you want the most, there is where you must focus. Only upon what you want is how and where you must act. Now, go focus and act accordingly!!

Happy manifesting!
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Feel Like The Incredible Hulk: Learn Anything You Want This Year

If you're like me, you're spending parts of the beginning of this year considering ways to be better, live better, make more money, be more healthy, create more fun, experience more love, and give more to the world in 2009.

In a search for how to maximize vacation time I came across a blog by Tim Ferriss, an author who wrote the book entitled The 4-hour Workweek Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich. While browsing Tim's blog, I came across a video which ought to inspire most people, entitled "How To Feel Like The Incredible Hulk":



If you don't watch this, you're doing yourself a disservice. I'm not completely sure that Tim succeeds in SHOWING us how to FEEL Like The Incredible Hulk other than how to overcome FEAR. It isn't really about fear, it is about PROCESS. You throw out "the how" and instead focus on "the WHAT". Of course, once you start doing something easier, with more results in less time, you NO LONGER FEEL AFRAID OF IT! That's the glory of his process. In so doing, I feel Tim introduces a revolutionary approach in learning.

Tim's example topics are swimming, foreign language, and ballroom dancing. Each could be an example of aptitudes many people struggle to learn, would you not agree? Yet, I believe Tim describes a brilliant approach that takes something daunting and makes it easier to grasp, thus making it more quickly and effectively something you CAN DO NOW. I'll outline it for you below.

In each example Tim gives in the video, he demonstrates the following techniques to improve what you learn to become a master:

1. THROW OUT EVERYTHING you've been TAUGHT so FAR on the subject.

2. Deconstruction: with a new perspective, define WHAT elements of this aptitude are MOST IMPORTANT, by deconstructing what experts do.

3. Find WHO or WHAT SYSTEM can TEACH YOU THOSE ELEMENTS you deconstruct the most efficiently.

4. Reconstruction: Evaluate WHAT do you WANT or NEED TO LEARN to understand THOSE ELEMENTS.

5. STUDY THOSE "WHATS" from point 4 and use them to MASTER THAT SYSTEM.

It is actually a little more complex than this, but I believe this is the process Tim uses to break down how to learn anything. He probably learned this as an athlete, as he recommends treating language as a sport. While I believe that, at some point, you'll need to transition from viewing your topic as "sport" into viewing it as "art" to become truly expert, taking the topic you wish to learn and tackling it as a sport seems to be a rapid way to learn.

The approach applied to swimming:

Let's look at his approach to swimming. With swimming, you will notice his objective was to travel a large distance in water without feeling like he could possibly drown. He didn't really say that, but that's what I gathered. So, let's plug it in the learning technique:

1. Swimming the common freestyle swimming stroke is not the most efficient way to swim long distances effortlessly. The principles and assumptions of swimming, according to Tim, were wrong! Thus, swimming always seemed so difficult and caused fear, when he realized that by breaking down the question "what's the worst that can happen" and then pushing beyond the assumptions to create a new approach to swimming.

2. A better way to swim might be to find ways to eliminate resistance, streamline your body through the water, and get air more efficiently.

3. Discovery: TOTAL IMMERSION. You will notice Tim's focus on TOTAL IMMERSION, his notes on the book and the video, then practice to become a better swimmer in just 10 days. I myself have been considering ways to become a better swimmer, so I thank Tim for sharing this with me. Total Immersion (TI) makes considerable sense to me, too, so I'll be trying it this next week at a pool near me!

4. Evaluate what you need to learn to be a better swimmer using TI: notice how in the post I just referenced in point 3 how Tim makes notes, and then breaks down the basics to focus on: (a) swimming on your side rather than your stomach, (b)focus on shoulder roll rather than pulling or kicking, (c) keeping your head in-line with your spine, driving your hands down into the water rather than floating above the water. These observations and processes are Tim's examples that demonstrate how you focus on learning THE WHAT in WHAT MATTERS MOST to LEARN the NEW TECHNIQUE.

5. Practice this, and also implement refinements to improve and MASTER THE TECHNIQUE you've adopted. You'll notice how Tim then expands and shows a video of "switching hand positions" learned from the Russian swim team to reduce stress and maximize efficiency so that you can swim more laps without tiring.

I can see why Tim is excited to share his ideas on How to Feel Like the Incredible Hulk: his process could be applied to just about ANYTHING!

The approach applied to foreign language:

He further demonstrates this with examples of how he learned a foreign language:

1. He found efforts to learn language embarrassing and ridiculously time-consuming and difficult. He decided to abandon traditional ways to learn Japanese to find a new SYSTEM.

2. His new system had to be something that would break down language into easy to learn parts and then translate across other languages, so he could learn them, too. Again, what are the FASTEST LANGUAGE LEARNERS DOING that sets them apart? Answer: Deconstruction!

3. He discovered a system of learning Japanese, the Japanese Kanji Wall chart, which upon understanding led him to a method approach to learning over six languages. If you learn these characters, you can learn how to read Japanese. He also determined six sentences that enabled him to evaluate just about any language from several perspectives:

The apple is red.
It is John’s apple.
I give John the apple.
We give him the apple.
He gives it to John.
She gives it to him.

According to Tim, "these six sentences alone expose much of the language..." These sentences show you how the language works, so you can drill down from these basics to simplify how you learn the language. It's a method approach to learning but apparently it works.

Sweet, no?

4. What is important about this system is that material matters more than method.

Again, the WHAT more than the HOW. The materials of language include the sentence structure, in comparison with sentence structure you already understand, then in comparison with how the language will be used. For example, is it Subject - Verb - Object (SVO) or Subject - Object - Verb (SOV)? This matters if you want to differentiate Japanese v. Chinese. But it also matters when you get to the WHAT Tim evaluates things like vowel sounds. If they are going to be more difficult, learn those first, then move on to the building blocks of subjects and what you want to say. The what in language, as it turns out, is how it sounds!

5. Again, practice, then learn more advanced aspects of language as you seek to master the language. Tim points out elsewhere in his blog that he hits the wall with mastering languages at 6 months, then has to have the passion to push forward to go beyond that wall. It helps to know these things.

I'm going to apply this approach to learning Spanish and Portuguese over the next year.

The approach applied to ballroom dancing:

Tim's last example is ballroom dancing. He again follows his process here:

1. He shares his disaster story where a great dancer embarrassed him in front of his classmates. He then determined that he would learn Tango and learn to COMPETE in Tango.

2. He deconstructed the dance not from a LEAD but from a FOLLOW, so that he would know the sensitivities and nuance the FOLLOW needs in order for him to LEAD more effectively.

3. He went to Argentina and learned that teaching methods were either implicit or explicit. He then found several systems of tango dance and determined one he could excel in: long-sweeping movements, variations in pivots, and usage of variance in tempo in order to compete against someone who danced for thirty years and win. He then deconstructed the dance steps (hundreds of them) with video from a professional dancer he admired.

4. He lost some weight, learned those steps, and went on to compete nationally in tango dancing contests and won a quarterfinal!

5. I'm sure that he continued to develop some additional dance steps as he learned additional dances, and realized he could incorporate those into his style, but again this process started with deconstruction and then reconstruction from the very best who could teach the WHAT movements he was trying to learn.

I'm going to take this approach to learning to something I've been working on: bongos and piano. First: bongo drums. I've been working to learn the bongo drums lately and sometimes play them publicly; however, I know I must improve in order to IMPRESS people with my bongo drumming.

To use Tim's approach, I'm going to first forget what I know (people hit the drum) and learn from a new approach: that hand techniques, finger techniques, and the speed must be integrated from basic "forms" that can be quickly learned and carried into other instruments, too. I will then break it down into the basics of WHAT I need to know, WHO knows that BEST, then LEARN THOSE THINGS. I already had one lesson with my friend, Tim Costa, who traveled to Cuba for a month to study with masters of Cuban music. So, learning bongos starts with the "martillo" pattern. I've been learning that pattern over slow and faster rhythm structures. To expand upon this knowledge and skill, I purchased "The Art of Bongo Drumming" by Trevor Salloum. I'll show more on this in the future...

Are you striving to learn something new, too? Try this system and see how it works for you:

1. THROW OUT EVERYTHING you've been TAUGHT so FAR on the subject.

2. Deconstruction: with a new perspective, define WHAT elements of this aptitude are MOST IMPORTANT, by deconstructing what experts do.

3. Find WHO or WHAT SYSTEM can TEACH YOU THOSE ELEMENTS you deconstruct the most efficiently.

4. Reconstruction: Evaluate WHAT do you WANT or NEED TO LEARN to understand THOSE ELEMENTS.

5. STUDY THOSE "WHATS" from point 4 and use them to MASTER THAT SYSTEM.

Special nod: I'd like to extend my special thanks to Tim Ferriss for providing inspiration for this article.
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Jessica Haynes on AspireNow Radio, Discusses "Get What You Want -- Now!"

Join Scott Andrews, Host of the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self Help Radio Show this Tuesday, June 10th, at 5PM PST / 8PM EST with special guest Jessica Haynes. Jessica Haynes has been a Business and Relationship Consultant for the past twenty years, and will be taking your calls during the hour. Today she will be talking about her highly successful book, Get What You Want – Now! Money, Love, Power, and more…

That’s right: you can get the loving relationship, career, lifestyle, and level of prosperity that you always imagined for yourself. Jessica will guide you through the five steps of successful manifesting, and answer your questions regarding your relationships, work, money needs, and personal growth path. Jessica will explain how to maximize your talents, reach your potential, and live your dreams during this hour. Get ready for a lot of refreshing ideas, breakthrough perspectives, and ah-ha moments!

To Call In: Dial (724) 444-7444.
Enter 37792 # Enter: 1 #
or your Talkshoe PIN

Topic: Get What You Want – Now!

Jessica has been a business and relationship coach for twenty years and works with a steady clientele nationally and internationally. She counsels business leaders, noted personalities, and enjoys teaching individuals across the U.S. how to realize their dreams. Whether you are getting started on the path of finding your purpose, or focusing on your career Jessica offers renewed hope. Jessica gives you nuts-and-bolts strategies that work!

Jessica receives countless letters and e-mails from her clients and seminar participants affirming that what she teaches improves their lives. Learn how to improve your innate skills, talents, and inner confidence. She can help you maximize your potential. Jessica has been a guest on panels with such top authors and motivational speakers as Ram Dass, Raymond Moody, and Dannion Brinkley. From the State of the World Forum, to the San Francisco Expo, and as far away as Japan… she continues to share her formula for getting what you want and building a dream life.

Whether Jessica is talking about relationships, careers, or finding one’s purpose, an important point stands out… she motivates you! She connects you to your most valuable resource: YOU … that powerful part of you designed to prosper and thrive.

Here are some highlights in this hour:

• How your thoughts affect your future.
• How to be at the right place at the right time.
• How to put yourself first and still win the hearts of others.
• How to have lasting relationships and a fulfilling career.
• How to create wealth, all the while being your true, authentic self.
• How to stop repeating old patterns that hold you back.
• How to find inner fulfillment, peace of mind, and a secure future.

Jessica uses both her clinical psychology background and her highly intuitive skills. In 1983, Jessica had a near death experience. The insights she gained from dying and coming back began to attract clients from across the nation. She turned her attention from that of being a top marketing executive to coaching and helping others reach their dreams and goals. Jessica will share her amazing story. She will also give you the positive ripple-effect that continues to help people around the globe.

What do you want? Is it a better relationship? Having more money? Improving your career opportunities? Learning how to communicate better with others? Enjoying more free time or expanding your hobbies? Maybe, it is being able to ask for what you want, and get it! All this, and more, is answered in Jessica’s book, and we will be talking about these win-win situations today. Jessica will walk you through the mind-set of becoming your best self and getting what you really want out of life.

It's simple and easy to join in!

When: Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 5PM PST (1 hour Internet Talk Radio Show)

How to Participate:

1. Visit http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 - this enables you to text questions and see questions/live chat during the show.

2. Dial (724) 444-74443. Enter 37792 # Enter: 1 # or your Talkshoe PIN. This enables you to call in and ask questions live via telephone.

Note: You can also download Talkshoe's Classic player to use the "Classic" version of the show format for text comments and show hosting, although this step is no longer necessary to join.

If you MISS the show, visit http://www.aspirenow.com/ and listen via the Talkshow player, or visit: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792.

Also, make sure to click the "follow the show" box if you're listening from the TalkShoe link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792. See you there!!
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

My Friends Rock

I recently dug through a forum discussing life happiness until I came across this question:

"Why do my friends suck?"

While this may be perceived as a common challenge for teenagers; however, this is actually more of a prevailing question in society, at large, than we might realize. When polled on satisfaction regarding how we rate our friends, this was the result:

How We Rate Our Friends (Source: 2006 AspireNow.com poll of 1,325 respondents):

38% - I have a close family and loving friends.
17% - My family could be more supportive, but I have loving friends.
21% - My friends are not supportive, but my family is supporting me and shows me love.
24% - My friends and family are both not very supportive and I feel disconnected.

Most people seem to rate their family and friendships as being pretty good. Personally, I'd say, MY FRIENDS ROCK (I'm definitely not someone in the "my friends suck" category).

Taking Another Look At How We Rate Our Friends :

38% - I have a close family and loving friends.
17% - My family could be more supportive, but I have loving friends.
21% - My friends are not supportive, but my family is supporting me and shows me love.
24% - My friends and family are both not very supportive and I feel disconnected.

That means 45% say their friendships could be better! Yikes. Well, that's why I'm writing this - to help give ideas to help you improve your friendships and relationships.

Now, let's take a look at how you rate your own friendships.

How are my friendships, in terms of closeness and support:

My Friends Rock! ______
My Friends Are Good ______
My Friends Could Be Better ______
My Friends Suck. ______

If you chose the "my friends suck" category, you're probably not a very happy person right now. And, if you chose "my friends rock" category, you're probably much more satisfied overall with your life situation and happiness.

According to Professor Ed Diener, University of Illinois, people who score high on life satisfaction tend to have close and supportive family and friends, whereas those who do not have close friends and family are more likely to be dissatisfied.

Character matters more than looks, wealth, and popularity:


In a study among girls from smartgirl.org, the three characters we exhibit in friendship that meant the most were as follows:

1. LOYALTY.
2. CARING.
3. LISTENING.

Note: Popular, Smart, Money, Athletic didn't rate NEARLY as high as loyalty.

Using the Golden Rule (reap what we sow), it would make sense that we ought to give what others want. So, if we want good friendships, we first ought to be loyal to others. Second, we need to show we care. And, last, we need to listen well. If I were writing that survey, I'd have added "funny and creative" to the list. Maybe it's me, but I just like fun and funny people. After all, if humor is the best medicine, then I want more of it!

Reach out and touch your friends often:

As much as we love IM, EMail and modern technology, the TELEPHONE is still the #1 way to reach out to our friends. So, if it has been a while, send an email, then follow it up by phone. You'll find your friendship quickly reconnected. I did this recently with many of my friends after my truck accident (see I'm So Grateful).

My personal rule for attracting great friends is to set the following intention:

1. My friends and people in my inner circle are in support of my highest good, and I am in support of their highest good.

2. I like friends who are well-rounded, with successful lives, and a good sense of humor.

That's pretty much my criteria for friendships. I've found that since defining friendships in this way, I've attracted and maintained really strong, happy, and healthy friendships.

The biggest difference was when I set the criteria for #1 (above), using "highest good" as a defining principle, I have found that friends don't lie to me, they don't disrespect me, nor do they use me or treat me poorly. The reason is that anyone who WOULD do this quickly either eliminates themselves from my life or I see who they are and eliminate them. I'm an extrovert, and by nature easily make new friends, but of all my friends who stick, they ALL now exhibit the features of both #1 and #2. It makes life much more rewarding, and for sure, I can truly say that my friends ROCK!

I was just having a chat with my brother yesterday, and the one comment we both shared that stuck out is that our friendships and experience with friends and family are what matter the MOST in life. It's a good idea to set an intention for more of these experiences.

Thank you for being my friends!

If you want better friendships, first be the friend you wish to attract back to you.
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Disclaimer: This material is intended for informational purposes only. Any financial, legal, health, or other information given is not to be interpreted as being financial, legal, health and professional advice. If you need advice, guidance, or counsel of any kind you should seek out a qualified and experienced professional in that field.

Written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow and CEO of ARRiiVE Business Solutions. Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved.

How To Be Unique

What Makes You Unique?

What really makes you a unique person?

When you think of the simple fact that you're one of billions of human beings walking around on this Earth, consider asking yourself "What small details of your personality, your drive, your love of certain things (or discernment), your own gifts and talents, and other aspects of what defines "you" to the world, and what makes you unique?"

Are you stumped?

You may not be alone. It is sometimes difficult to dig into the crux of what defines us. However, this might be a time to look at what defines you and figure out how to embrace more of those elements.

Now, with many of my posts, I'll "Google" the topic and see what else pops up in my browser.

One of the interesting recurring themes about how people are defining themselves - especially in school - is through the way they dress. Other topics that came up often include "what do we surround ourselves with", such as furnishings, our car, and other external ways to define our look and feel. But I feel that we are unique not just through how we look, but how we feel, what we do, and how we impact other people. Our "look" and our image is just a part; in fact, mostly an external expression of what makes us truly unique individuals.

What we are that makes us unique must be embraced if we are to succeed in creating maximum impact with our life experience.

Four Ways To Be Unique

Here's my list of four ways to be unique:

1. Think and Speak in a unique way.

Frank Sinatra developed a whole way of speaking that became known as "Rat-Pack Speak" through his career. Expressions like "ring-a-ding-ding", "How's your bird?" and quotes like "You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass." Other greats, like John Lennon, were known to give sound-bites to the press. One that probably backfired was when he said "The Beatles Are Bigger Than God." Politicians, too, often make their mark through being unique.

Ronald Reagan was successful largely due to his sense of humor. When his opponent was rattling on about an issue he didn't want to deal with, he simply responded, "Well, there he goes again." People who become famous usually do so through their ability to think different, and then convey that. While your own personally calling may or may not be fame, it is still vital to think and speak in a way that resonates with your spirit and emotes who you truly are in the most unique way possible.

Don't be afraid to take chances. Be you. Be real. Be the person you need to be. What we think, feel, and say ought to be a reflection of our values.

2. Live according to a higher purpose.

Whether it be to have fun, to make the best xyz product, to be the best musician, to create a nurturing home environment for your family, to write a book about your experiences, or any myriad numerous things we may aspire to, the key with our life is to live according to a higher purpose.

What I mean is to live according to your most natural spirit, to embrace the force of life, energy, and being that is within you. This is tricky for many people. If you don't know what this purpose is, I created an e-book about Life Purpose and audio program to help you find it. You can find that at AspireNow's product section.

The key is in the questions we ask of ourselves. If you don't know the questions to ask, you can't get the answer you seek. I just help guide you through the path of questions. So, learn to be a seeker. As written in the Bible, "As you seek, so ye shall find," or something like that.

Are you being you? A terrific woman I know (pictured in Cat In the Hat costume, above-right) is great at dressing up, being a bit silly, and showing kids she teaches how to have more fun.

More Ways To Be Unique

(right: Elvis Live In Hawaii)

3. Your image matters.

THE WAY YOU DRESS CAN DEFINE YOU: Before you yawn and say "So what?" think about this for a minute. Almost everyone who makes it in the music business has a "look" to their band. The Beatles: funny hair and tight-fitting suits with skinny ties. The Who: wild flaring clothes and the original "rock" look. Elvis Presley: when you think of Elvis, do you remember the white suit from the Hawaii/Aloha show the most?

Madonna: her look captured in the movie Desperately Seeking Susan was copied by thousands of girls during the 80's. Johnny Cash: the man in black defined himself through a unique color at the time. Donna Karan, many years later, copied the trick. I recall a DK interview: "I just love black. I look good in black. Who doesn't? Black is both slender and mysterious and a little edgy." After reading that, I upped the amount of black in my wardrobe!


(Left: Geek is chic)

Even business people have a "look" to what they wear. At IBM, it was navy suits, white starched shirts, and a red or blue tie for many years. That worked for them. I've noticed that the quick upstart service firm utilized at Best Buy stores also has a look of black slacks, white short-sleeved shirts, and skinny black ties. This service company started by a savvy marketing man is called "The Geek Squad" and is enjoying phenomenal success. And, the counter-culture also has success by being different in their look and feel: Apple Computer became known for Steve Jobs wearing blue jeans. Years later, Jobs wears jeans with Black Turtlenecks. Again, have a look that says "you" to you and to people who know you, then use it to your fullest.

4. Who do you love?

Have you ever heard the expression: "He was a product of his environment"?

There seems to be a correlation between who we surround ourselves with and what happens in our lives. If you surround yourself with toxic people, you'll probably end up with a dis-ease of some sort. If your friends are mostly negative, you're probably a lot more negative than you realize. If your friends are all about making money, you're probably all about making money, too.

Consider who you surround yourself with. The ole' expression "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" also holds somewhat true with friends. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, was buddies with Henry Ford, the inventor of the model-T Ford car.

(right: My friend, Brian Narelle, who offers groovy cartoons.)

Entrepreneurs like to hang out with other entrepreneurs. Why? Because they like creativity. Musicians, same thing. It is more fun hanging with people who love, play, and appreciate music.
What do you want more of in your life? If you can define that, then you can seek out people DOING that activity or BEING that way! It's as simple as that. Now, another guideline I put in place a few years ago that I recommend to you highly is to seek out those in support of your HIGHEST GOOD. Therefore, if you have a friend in support of your highest good, they probably wouldn't lie to you, steal from you, or otherwise mistreat you.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Another thing I will add in here as a bonus is that I think it is good to surround yourself only with the possessions you like that make you feel good and reinforce your beliefs. Mine: elegance and simplicity. So, everything I have is designed to be elegant, yet simple. At least, that's the objective. What and who are you surrounding yourself with?

You will discover more about what makes you unique when you seek out others who are also embracing their unique nature.

Do you want to know how I do this myself?

My values: I believe we ought to live large every day. I believe in being honest and sincere in my dealings with others. I believe in laughter - as often as possible. I believe in sharing our ups and downs, but focusing more on the ups. I treat others with respect, so that I may be treated equally. I try to show love in each moment. I take time to balance my life with work, fun, and family moments. I love having fun with my friends and family (pictured left: yours truly).

What I wear: I wear suits for business and jeans with untucked button-down shirts for music and casual wear.

What I drive: (pictured, right) I drive a Toyota Tundra (mostly because I like the way I feel driving it) but I also have received numerous compliments on the way the truck looks. The truck is practical (except for the gas mileage) and being a big guy, I fit in it nicely. It also drives like a car, but rides a little higher on the road. That fits me.

What my house is like: I won't show a picture here, but I can tell you that my style is a mix of modern-eclectic-Italian. I have a blackberry velvet chaise lounge that everyone coos over, a cool bar with pop-up top that has a retro-mirror, lots of wood styles, clean furniture with a minimum of knobs, and a few other odds and ends. It's a beginning of a larger vision of things to come...

Who I surround myself with: I like interesting, funny, creative, and soulful people. I like people who are successful. I find people who have faced challenges more interesting than those born with a spoon in their mouth. Make me laugh, then say something witty and smart, and you'll have my attention. Be respectful and show you're doing something interesting, you'll hold my attention longer. If you demonstrate that you're in support of my highest good, you'll become my friend for a long time. I love spending time with musicians, artists, dancers, entrepreneurs, and highly successful people.

My purpose: I am here to advise leaders. I am here to show we CAN have fun AND be successful at work. I am here to help bring more love into our work. I am here to bring more love into our life. Am I succeeding with you? Please let me know how I can make a difference for you...
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

How To Wow: Part I

How To Wow: Part I

"Professional Speaking That Wow's Your Crowd"

I've been getting more and more people asking me how to become a motivating speaker. Well, to start with, you have to WOW your crowd. Want to know some secrets on how to wow 'em like the best speakers in the business?

Here are seven techniques to help you get started.

7 Ways To Build "Wow" Into Your Next Presentation:

1. Set It Up

Before you can wow anyone, you must first set it up. For example, one speaker drops a stacks of books before he speaks. He then says, "Well, that was the advice from all the gurus on our topic today. Guess we don't need all those books, after all. Now, let's look at how people today really do this..." and from there he's off and running. I'd call that the "surprise" intro, wouldn't you?

Steve Jobs, when he announced the Apple MacBook Air, started off his talk at MacWorld with "Something's In The Air Today..."
(see the whole video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5iPJwZkr6E)

A comedian comes out with one string of ideas after another, then something totally random that makes you laugh.

Consider one of these approaches. If you start off B-O-R-I-N-G you're dead in the first 30 seconds. So, start off with something that sets your group up to know what they're going to get, in a creative, fun, and distinctively you type of way.

2. Use Simple and Clean Graphic Visuals.

Instead of saying "this is thin" to convey your idea, say, "It is only this thick," and show a picture of a pencil. A great visual is powerful, indeed.

You'll see how Jobs is a master at simple graphic visuals through this video:



Keep it clean and simple.

3. Simplify some more.

Imagine you want to tell someone "I love you." How would you say it? How would this suffice:

4. Use powerful words (and gestures).

You can be enthusiastic, but if you use the wrong words, body language, and tone, you'll probably give a mixed message.

Good copy is one of my newfound keys to success. I'll swear by the copy on a page. It's either selling for you, or your copy is working against you. Are you using words that sell? If not, try some of these:
Amazing, Blast, Greatest, Smallest, Largest, Huge, Phenomenal, Explosive, Fun, More, Easiest, Simplest, Most Comprehensive, Powerful, Gigantic, Tiniest, Flattest, Fattest, Richest, Fabulous, Exciting, Quickest, Shortest, Thickest, Roundest (is that a word?), anyway, you get the idea.

The WORDS you use MATTER as much as the enthusiastic TONE and BODY LANGUAGE you use to convey your ideas. Use all three to the max!

Hand gestures ought to be emphatic. Body image ought to be tall and strong, unless you're trying to convey weak and wimpy.

5. Show WHY people ought to care.

People often struggle with their WoW because they fail to realize how or why people care about them. If you're going to stand up and say "I'm going to change the world," then you probably need to back that up with the top three ways you're doing that now. But don't just tell them: SHOW them. People respond when you back up a strong statement with strong facts, stories, and anecdotes, and visuals (videos, etc.).

6. Give them a little bit more.

"You want to Supersize that?" was famous for a campaign that resulted in larger sizes for a little more money. It made an order for a burger, fries, and soft drink increase in size of volume, but also added an additional $0.80 per order, too. So, when people said, "Yeah, SuperSize me," they were giving permission to sell them something more.

My Dad once said to me that a doughnut shop taught him the key to success in business. "Scott, always give them a little bit more," was an expression he told me starting out. What he was referring to was the idea of giving people more than they paid you for. For example, he told me about this doughnut shop. He ordered a few special glazed doughnuts, a fill, and then a dozen "holes" for his toastmaster group. He said that someone in the group later counted the number of "holes" they received, and rather than a dozen, they'd been given thirteen. This didn't just happen once, it happened EVERY single time he ordered a dozen "holes" for the group. Notice, they had the repeat business to find out. Give them a little bit more than they expect, and they'll love you, buy from you, and always book you back again.

Sometimes, in a presentation, it is also good to give them one extra thing. Steve Jobs is a master at this. Other speakers, too: I remember that when I thought Zig Ziglar was done, he then went into a commitment talk and asked me to write my commitments down, and to do that one more thing for myself to make his talk matter. It is the one thing I took away, besides him up there working a pump saying "you gotta prime the pump!" from his talk.

7. Build a little suspense before selling anything.

Have you ever noticed a sales leader get up and start selling without giving you a reason to care? It's like the movie that starts with a character you don't know immediately shooting people. I always think, "Okay, so what, you haven't made me care about the characters." Character development matters. So, before you start selling, establish your character, create the story line of why it matters to your audience, then give them your pitch. The best in the business will always build more suspense prior to giving you the main sell. It's just good form.

Try building these 7 steps into how you WOW your group where you speak and see if you don't have a more powerful effect, higher results, and people writing good things about your public speaking.
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Copyright © 2008 by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow and CEO of ARRiiVE Business Solutions. Scott is available for Keynote Speaking.