You Are Called To Be Your Highest Purpose

What business are you in? People sometimes ask me this question. Of course, depending upon the moment, I suppose I could answer "Author, Businessman, Entrepreneur, Speaker, Salesperson, Musician, Song-writer, Blogger, or a host of other things" but I really think I'm in the business of LOVE.

That's because everything I do, I do to help bring more LOVE into the world. Whether it be through more success, ways to be proactive, ideas on launching products, playing the sax, hosting my radio show, and so on... all of these things bring more LOVE into the world in one way or another.

Do you know why you are here, reading this, right now?

The reason is because you are CALLED! You are CHOSEN to a higher purpose.

There is a very important reason why you are alive at this point in time. Do you know what it is? The answer is within you. What are people saying about you? Is there a voice inside you, urging you to DO SOMETHING BIG?

My guess is you feel and hear that voice, right now.

Are you trying to stifle that voice? Or let it out?

Because, whatever you're feeling called to do, it is time RIGHT NOW to do it! It is time to LIVE YOUR PURPOSE and DO what you are CALLED TO DO. Do not delay.



If there is a "counter-voice" to that little voice of your soul crying out for you to live your most powerful life, that voice must not be given power over you. Whether you've been telling yourself "I'm not educated enough" you ARE educated. Whether you've been saying "I don't have the talent" well, people with perhaps more talent won't do as much as you. Whether you're saying "I'm too old" well, NOAH and JOB in the Bible realized more success in their elder years than all the years before that. In our more modern era, President Lincoln had his greatest success the last five years of his life. President Kennedy's father made more money during his latter years than all the years he was in Hollywood or a bootlegger.

You might be surprised, but the answer is within you as to why you are called and ONLY YOU can answer that call.

Today is the time. NOW IS THE DAY. Start now. Do not delay.

I'll share a quote from the wonderful Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson, from Return to Love (hardcover p. 165, paperback pp. 190-191): http://www.marianne.com/index.php

Let your light shine. Do not shrink from the greatness within your own being. You are a beautiful being and nobody can take that from you. It is your calling. Live it today. Begin now.

Are you ready to take a QUANTUM LEAP FORWARD?



I encourage you to take more steps. If you'd like coaching from me or one of my wonderful AspireNow Advocates and other coaches, contact me and I'll help you get the right coach to ask the questions and guide you on your path to success.

Be your best self! Be the miracle you wish to see happen in the world!

Editor's Note: Since writing this article I've received 10 emails thanking me for the timeliness of this information. If you find this a benefit, feel free to donate to AspireNow (see above) but one way you can also donate is to SHARE YOUR STORY with us! I love success stories, or stories of how people are moved by articles. Thanks and all the peace, joy, love, hope, and success to you!
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When Friends Go Their Own Way

What causes friends to pull back and stop reaching out to us?

In the past, I've pulled away from certain friends. You've probably experienced friends pulling away from you, too. Friends come and go in a natural ebb and flow but sometimes friends pull away because they have fulfilled your purpose in their life. Other times, they pull away because they are busy with a new job, a new relationship, or other activities. They might be distant because of new activities within their household, such as events for their children. Or, they might be pulling away because they're in a pity party.

I've seen friends get hurt, because they felt you didn't do what they wanted. But their expectation doesn't have to match your reality, does it? So, even though you didn't say or do what they wanted, this doesn't make you necessarily bad or wrong. It just means there was a disconnect in expectation and result. One of my closest friends stepped back for about 3 months after living on my couch for a few months. I'd asked him to pay rent and tensions grew until he decided to leave. At first, he acted angry with me. That was his choice. But, the fact of the matter is I'd done him a favor, but further enabling him not getting his act together wasn't serving either of us in our friendship. I held strong, and later extended an olive branch to let him know I'm still his friend. Today, he got his act together, has his own place, and is now saving up for a new car, too! Yesterday, we hung out for a bit, and watched the sea together for a little while during conversation. It is nice to have friendships where you can just talk, listen, and be real with each other. So, the natural give and take, when restored to a healthy balance, restores friendship.

Recently, another friend withdrew. I believe she felt hurt by several things and perhaps just frustrated how we communicated. So, she pulled back. It's normal human behavior when communication give and take breaks down.

As I write this article, it becomes clear to me that give and take is really what this is all about.

People may need something from us, so they reach out to us. Other times, they feel we've taken enough from them, so they pull away, or, they've taken enough, and would feel guilty to take more without repaying the favor, so they pull away then, too. It's all about the natural balance of give and take and the flow of life where we can benefit from being around each other.

Are you trapped in a "pity party"? If so, your friends may have pulled away from you because you're a downer. Being around downers is like being around energy vampires - you're taking from them! Work on releasing the resentment, guilt, and loser attitude by focusing on new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that create the life you most desire. When people see you succeeding in manifesting your dreams, you'll attract more (and often better) influences back into your life! Once you're no longer sucking someone's energy, you'll find it easier to attract more of what you do want back to you.

If you're withdrawing because life has overwhelmed you, remember that at some point, connecting with others is part of what helps us remain balanced. Take your time to withdraw. Then, once you feel healthy, grounded in your self, and rooted firmly on your own two feet, come back into the world of social interaction.

Life is so exciting when we expand our circles to include abundant, healthy, happy, and exciting people. Is your circle of friends what you want?

I know one person who claims to want to be in a committed relationship. Yet, half of her friends are single women who hate men. What are the odds she will realize her objective with all of these negative influences poisoning her mind? Right- probably not very high.

I know another friend who claims to want financial abundance. Yet, half of his friends struggle to just pay rent. What are the odds he will realize his objective with all of these people who don't know how to attract abundance weighing on him with their "lack" attitudes? Again, probably not very high.

Another friend often tells me she is lonely. Yes, each time I've invited her out to various events I attend, she only takes me up on it about a fifth of the time. Most times, I find out she stayed at home with her dog. Do you think maybe she is choosing her loneliness? I keep offering her a chance to go out and have fun. It is up to her to accept to live life again with all fullness and gusto, right?

Choose your friends wisely. If someone does not match the qualities you want in a friend, let them go. Send out the vibe of what you DO want and then take action towards that objective. I recently did this with my Facebook account (see scott at aspirenow dot com on Facebook to add me). I decided that I want to be friends with everyone who was in the movie "The Secret" because I believe these people have a firm foundation of how to manifest what they want in life. The first who accepted my request to add was John Assaraf. I loved John's story about his vision board in the movie, and after adding him as a friend decided to add any of John's friends who looked like they were happy with positive light in their picture. That's right, I made choices just based upon pictures. Well, guess what? This connection has now led me to be closely associated with Richard Branson, the CEO of Virgin Airlines! I love larger than life people like Richard, and can't wait to get to know him better.

So, don't worry about the sense of loss you felt when friends went their own way. Sometimes, it really is for the best for all of you. They are free to do what they want, anyway. If you let them go (with love) it is likely they will come back when they are ready (in love).

Focus on what you want, then seek out the people who exhibit those qualities. You can take it to the bank that as you attract people who are happy, fulfilled, manifesting their dreams, successful, and empowered, that your life will be more empowered, too.
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Dealing With Disappointment

Have you ever dealt with disappointment?

I have experienced disappointment and can empathize with the range of emotions you might experience when life, people, or circumstances don't deliver according to expectations, or even hopes, or maybe even human decency.

Sometimes, people let us down. Friends fail to say the right things. Lovers leave and don't come back. Jobs don't come through with the money they promised. Work isn't as exciting or productive as it used to be. Or, maybe people flake out and don't do what we thought. People can also be greedy, selfish, or uncaring. Our health may fail us. New opportunities we expected don't show up when or how we thought they might.

Let's face it: there's a whole bunch of ways we can experience disappointment with people, work, love, and life. Often, these circumstances create frustration, anger, sadness, and a general feeling that life isn't what it could be. These feelings can lead to judgment, criticism, and resentment. Left unchecked, disappointment can lead to feelings of unhappiness, lack, and even depression.

What can you do when you feel someone has let you down?

1. What can we control? Well, first, remember that you cannot control other people. In relationships, unmatched and unrealistic expectations can cause problems with resentment, which may lead to judgment, contempt, and disconnections. Other times, people communicate in ways that leaves the other party confused. If we expect others to read our mind instead of expressing concern, we're likely to struggle to get our expectations and needs met.

2. Have we made clear what we need? Also, if we are frustrated with how people communicate, but haven't made clear how important this is to our needs, we may have set up an expectation without foundation.

3. Can the other party deliver what we want? Last, we may have communicated our concern clearly, but if the other party is unable to do what we most want, we still may have an unrealistic expectation.

I experienced some of the problems in a relationship this past year. I was expecting my partner to greet me with cheer, to discuss positive topics, dreams, and goals when we talked, but she was unable to do that. She was mostly only able to focus on her concerns, rants, problems, and challenges, and expected me to hear those things, without the cheer. Over extended periods of time, this mismatched expectation led to a major disconnect in our relationship. I started to talk over her and didn't let her finish her sentences. I basically repressed her. She ended up feeling I was selfish and only wanted to talk about my things. Can you see how my expectation for positive, cheerful talk either was not communicated properly or was met with a response or inability to deliver? I believe that this communication disconnection was at the root of the breakup I experienced after things boiled over.

It is wisest if you can catch personal disappointment up front and determine if you've communicated your needs, and set an expectation that your partner is able to deliver upon. If you fail to do either of these, you may end up dealing with disappointment.

How are you communicating?


Usually, when we are disappointed, something in our own action and attitude contributed to the situation where the other party did not match our expectations. Take stock in how you are communicating. Are you stating why you want certain things? Are you clarifying the underlying reason how you want things done? Are you asking these things of people who are capable of delivering them to you? Try to get a "yes" answer in each of your interactions to maximize your satisfaction with personal relationships and friendships.

Sometimes, people just out and out lie, cheat, steal or don't fulfill what they promised. If this is your situation, well, use the experience as a springboard for the Golden Rule: treat others as you wish to be treated. If you don't want people to complain around you, don't complain. If you want others to be positive, be positive. If you want other people to respect you, be respectful of them, first. Often, we create our own reality by what we send out to others.

Pray and play together. I've read on a plaque that "A family that prays together stays together." Are you making it a point to pray together? Often, by putting our focus first upon God, it makes everything else more manageable. Second, are you PLAYING together? If one member of your family is off doing their own thing, they might be creating dissension. Sometimes, we all need to compromise a little in order to all have the time to play together and build better bonds.

What kind of quality TIME are you spending with the people you most care about?

My sister once told me that if I want to be closer to my nephew, that I ought to spend more TIME with him. It was a point well-taken. I went out and played golf with him that month and he later called me and said how much he enjoyed it. This, from someone who'd called me about twice in his life before that golf day. So, YES, the time we spend together matters.

What about the demands of parenting and time with each other?

Are you a single parent? Are you allowing your children to cut into the time you have with your partner to the point where you rarely have any quality time together? Are you a couple trying to raise children? Both single parents and coupled parents need to make sure they're spending time developing their relationship with each other instead of just parenting all the time.

Make the time for each other. Draw hard boundaries, and keep them. Make your time quality time. Do fun things together: go for a walk in nature, travel fun places, go dancing, go snuggle and make love. Make a "no cell phone except for emergency policy" and stick to it! If you make sure you get time that is specifically your time, and you'll have a happier relationship over the longer-term.

What can you do when an opportunity, job, or new growth of other sort didn't come through?

Sometimes, I wish I had a crystal ball I could look into that would show me both the macro and micro level of life and events around me. Wouldn't it make it easier? In reality, most people need to establish a master plan and then be flexible to adjust as life events might impact that plan. I try to first put it in God's hands.

I've personally been promised a job where the financial opportunity was supposed to be $20K a month, then found out later that most people in that job were really only making about $10K a month. It frustrated me to make less than I'd been promised. In that position, I had two choices: become obsessed over making $20K a month, leave for another job that might pay better, or accept the situation and make the best of it. It is not good to switch jobs every few months, so if you've faced this, you may be frustrated, disappointed, and even a little resentful or angry with your boss.

If this is your situation, focus on what you most want. Did you communicate your needs clearly? Have you taken the steps you need to take to achieve what you want with your job? Is this company, position, or boss able to deliver what you need if you make the right steps in your job? If the answer is "yes" to each of these questions, you're probably in the right position to meet your needs. If the answer is "no", then maybe it is time to consider other avenues of employment.

I've been in very difficult career positions in my past. One time, my company, Intelogic Trace, had filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy. In my first meeting with Delta Dental, the client handed me the bankruptcy letter and asked me if that was what I wanted to talk about. Yes, it was rough! At first, I let it get to me. I recall being so stressed out that I ripped my dress shirt in half when it was missing a button after a trip to the cleaners. My girlfriend at the time said "Oh, I'm staying away from you!" Yeah, I was stressed out. Then, the next day, I woke up and thought "Hmm. How bad could this be? I mean, yes, I could lose my job, but so what?! There are other jobs, and if I embrace this, maybe I can turn lemonade out of this lemon!" So, I dug in and decided to be a beacon of positive energy, success, and growth IN SPITE of the bankruptcy.

Guess what? People responded to my shift in attitude in a positive way. Over time, I came to be known as the top salesperson in my region and went to the company Summit Club for achievement three years in a row. Sometimes, it pays to be positive and persevere.

What can you do when life or God doesn't seem to be listening?

I spoke with a friend about this recently. I was feeling particularly disappointed with several different people, my company, another career situation, and even some friends. The disappointment led to feeling depressed and that led to me feeling like life sucked. Can you relate? We've all been there. Well, in my experience, and my belief in God is that God is in all things. So, God is always there. God is always listening. God is always guiding, slowly, surely, through all of it. Sometimes we are offered challenges to see if we can create something new and exciting.

Franklin D. Roosevelt was offered polio and used it to create one of the top rehabilitation centers in the country at that time. Louise Braille lost his eyesight through the slip of an awl and used it to create an alphabet for the blind.

In every situation, we almost always can find someone worse off than we are. So, before you go do anything drastic, re-frame your situation and release what you can't control and focus only upon what you CAN control. We cannot control other people's reactions to our brilliant ideas. Some people may even snicker or put the idea down. We can only control how we think, feel, and act about our own dreams and goals.

Put aside the cloak of disappointment for the coat of happiness and fulfillment

So, put aside disappointment. Often, we receive disappointment to help us clarify more of what we want in the future. We gain new clarity and insight, along with a dogged determination never to experience the failure, loss, or setback in communication, health, job, money, or love, ever again. It is up to us to seize the moment and be who we want to be, communicate clearly what we need and desire, and find the situations, people, and places that are most apt to be able to deliver to the expectation we've set forth.

By matching our expectations with reality, and putting out what we most want to get back, we are highly likely to increase our happiness and fulfillment, thus improving our life and leading us back to the road to success, love, and joy.
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Are You A Workaholic?

Have you ever met a workaholic?

In the 1960's Japan, a term was coined:

According to Wikipedia, Karōshi (過労死, karōshi: which quite literally means "Death From Overwork", is occupational sudden death. The major medical causes of karōshi deaths are heart attack and stroke due to stress.

Does karōshi (death from overwork) sound fun to you?

Yeah, not to me, either. Yet, I've met many people who are definitely victims of overwork, and quite possibly on their way to a karōshi.

Just yesterday, I met a manager of an aerospace company who shared with me that he oversees a division of 30 direct reports, and 300 more underneath that team. He bragged that "I decide when I can come and go. I decide where I travel." Okay, great. But, guess what? He also confided, "I took only 6 vacation days in the past three years." In my opinion, this fine gentleman is suffering from a karōshi addiction to work.

According to a Wikipedia article:

Usually, Japan's rise from the devastation of World War II to economic prominence in the post-war decades has been regarded as the trigger for what has been called a new epidemic. It was recognized that employees cannot work for twelve or more hours a day, six or seven days a week, year after year, without suffering physically as well as mentally. A recent measurement found that a Japanese worker has approximately two hours overtime a day on average. In almost all cases, the overtime is unpaid. The recent international expansion of Japanese multinationals has also led to an export of the Karōshi culture to countries such as China, Korea and Taiwan.

While this problem may be lesser-known in America, nevertheless it is not unknown in other countries, as well. In the Netherlands, workers are known to overwork. Check this out: according to WebMD's Sid Kirchheimer, people have actually developed "leisure illness," a phenomenon that occurs from getting ill while trying (albeit unsuccessfully) to relax on vacation. The problem? They're so used to overwork that they simply cannot relax. Crazy, huh?

In the United States, the average worker takes 12 vacation days a year. If you ask me, that's nowhere near enough time to balance a person's life. We need at least three weeks - probably four weeks at minimum - to re-balance our lives from our work schedules.

Yet, employers routinely dole-out only two weeks vacation. It's disgusting. Workers need to request MORE vacation and point out how much their health suffers when they don't get to take a break. It's our life - it is up to us to stand-up and speak-out!

In Europe, they seem to have a better handle on work-life-balance. Europeans average 4 to 8 weeks of vacation a year. Clearly, they have a better understanding of the important things in life: experiences with friends and family. The only way to have these quality experiences is to take VACATIONS and TAKE TIME for these important people. Not only that, but it is critical to take a break just to recharge our batteries and refresh our soul.

(Please note: I need to fix this chart - Stress is on the X axis and performance on the Y-axis, but otherwise, everything is correct here.) The point is that our productivity drops dramatically when we are fatigued.

Are you a workaholic?

Are you spending enough time with your loved ones?

Another way to ask this is: are you taking enough vacation and time for life?

If you're a workaholic, you may be heading for a stroke, heart-attack, or stroke. In any event, you're probably more stressed-out and more difficult to be around, because you're not balancing your life.

Do something about this before it is too late. If your loved ones have been expressing worry about how much you work, take a break. If you notice that you're getting more stressed-out than you used to, why not build in a few more vacations each year and take more weekends away from the Blackberry, computer, and cell phone?

Sometimes, the answer isn't to take Prozac but rather to take a vacation.

Remember: in the end, we do not take our company with us, our paychecks do not go with us, nor does the debt, nor the toys, when we pass away. In the end, the only thing that matters most is the quality time we spend with those we love the most. Most often, those people are our friends and family members.

In the military, there are obvious results from stress and fatigue. Officers frequently report that "exhausted men offer little more worth than dead men" in many cases. I've seen this first hand. When, in a strategy game simulation playing "Rome: Total War" I noticed a huge difference in performance in my troops when they were stressed. For example, in examining the difference between a "fresh" unit, a "warmed-up" unit, a "tired" unit, and "exhausted" unit, my "fresh" units far outperformed equally equipped, talented, staffed, and trained "exhausted" units. In addition, units placed in unfair position (downhill vs. an uphill force), units "surprised" by an enemy, and units in fear of a superior force (such as infantry vs. cavalry or cavalry vs. elephants) also fared poorly. When mismatched, it is obvious that troops will suffer undue stress, and that stress will cause the unit to break, flee, and become routed by the enemy.

How are we any different in our work life?

If you are a workaholic, I suggest you seek out professional assistance from a doctor, career therapist, or other professional. Also, why not seek out a "life coach" to help you rebalance your life before you die of karōshi? Ultimately, your life will be far more balanced and you ought to experience higher happiness.

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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

10 Minutes A Day To Success

Are you too busy to start work on that new dream you've been thinking of?

I recently received an email from someone saying you can start a new company with just 10 minutes a day. Really? Is this possible? Perhaps, if it is, then other goals may be accomplished, too:

If you've been saying to yourself:

"SOMEDAY... I'll start my own business. SOMEDAY... become wealthy. SOMEDAY... I'll start that website I've been thinking about. SOMEDAY…I'll lose weight. SOMEDAY…I'll find my soul-mate. SOMEDAY…I'll discover my purpose in life. SOMEDAY... I'll live my dreams.

START with 10 MINUTES A DAY to BUILD YOUR SUCCESS

Well, perhaps this isn't a bad idea. Taking 10 minutes a day, and working on each of these things. Often, it's harder to find 10 quality minutes than we realize. But, without a doubt, 10 minutes a day is a lot easier than 10 months, 10 days, or 10 hours, right?!

So, why not implement a 10 minute plan for your own life?

There's a company that's basing it's consulting and coaching services around this concept, which you can find at: http://www.take10now.com/whoweare.html. I've contacted them to see if they have an affiliate program, but as of this writing I'm just referring you without compensation because I think they have an interesting concept.

Here's why I like the 10 minute a day to success program:

1. If you haven't been doing anything about any type of dream, whether it be to get in shape, start a blog, write a business plan, or start a company, it is most likely because the whole thing seems too daunting. By looking at it in 10-minute segments, you can start to put INTENTION towards the projects and thoughts TOWARDS your dream. What's good about that? It's the Law of Attraction in action: the more you focus intention on a particular aspect of life, the higher the chance you'll attract that from the Universe.

2. Just putting 10 minutes will require you to clear your mind and focus on this dream for a specific period of time, every day. 10 minutes a day is 300 minutes a month. And, if you're anything like me, you can get considerable work done in 300 minutes if you know what you're trying to accomplish. So, start with 10 minutes a day, and see if you don't start to knock down small tactical elements of your goal. After all, 10 minutes is better than 0 minutes.

3. 10 minutes is realistically possible for almost anyone. The reason I like starting with 10 minutes is because it is so easy to lose commitment, get distracted, and stop doing what we intend. Therefore, by blocking out 10 minutes a day, you'll have a commitment to something simple, easy, and yet enough time to accomplish a few things. For example, I had a goal to get more prospects for business planning this week. I just spent the past 10 minutes emailing three companies I had noted as leads from my business network. I'll follow-up those emails tomorrow, and hopefully have a conference call scheduled later in the week. Those three 30 minute segments will likely produce at least one new customer, which, as a return on time investment is very high.

4. 10 minutes grows into more minutes! What you'll start to notice when you do 10 minutes religiously is that over time, you'll naturally want to expand the things most profitable and rewarding to you into more than 10 minutes. This helps you eliminate the goals that really don't align with your core being and focus more on the goals that you really need to accomplish. That's the ultimate objective of the 10-minute program: that you'll expand the 10-minutes into something like 30 or 60 minutes, and if it's something like a business, it may even expand into your full-time vocation.

Why not start your own 10-minute program today? You don't have to go crazy and do it with every part of your life. Just choose ONE THING you really have been putting off but KNOW you WANT TO DO. Do that! Start setting aside just 10 minutes a day to focus on an activity related to that goal. If lose weight, maybe stretching for 10 minutes a certain time of day. Or, if starting a company, dedicate 10 minutes towards research or building your business plan each day. If you don't get everything done in 10 minutes, that's okay, set-up your next session as the next step in your to-do.

For more information about the Law of Attraction, visit these sites:
http://aspirenow.blogspot.com/2007/08/law-of-attraction.html
http://www.aspirenow.com/Purpose_10_07_The_Law_of_Attraction_Book.htm
http://aspirenow.blogspot.com/2007/10/most-powerful-law-in-universe.html

Good luck, and let me know how 10 minute dreams works for you!
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How To Be Unique

What Makes You Unique?

What really makes you a unique person?

When you think of the simple fact that you're one of billions of human beings walking around on this Earth, consider asking yourself "What small details of your personality, your drive, your love of certain things (or discernment), your own gifts and talents, and other aspects of what defines "you" to the world, and what makes you unique?"

Are you stumped?

You may not be alone. It is sometimes difficult to dig into the crux of what defines us. However, this might be a time to look at what defines you and figure out how to embrace more of those elements.

Now, with many of my posts, I'll "Google" the topic and see what else pops up in my browser.

One of the interesting recurring themes about how people are defining themselves - especially in school - is through the way they dress. Other topics that came up often include "what do we surround ourselves with", such as furnishings, our car, and other external ways to define our look and feel. But I feel that we are unique not just through how we look, but how we feel, what we do, and how we impact other people. Our "look" and our image is just a part; in fact, mostly an external expression of what makes us truly unique individuals.

What we are that makes us unique must be embraced if we are to succeed in creating maximum impact with our life experience.

Four Ways To Be Unique

Here's my list of four ways to be unique:

1. Think and Speak in a unique way.

Frank Sinatra developed a whole way of speaking that became known as "Rat-Pack Speak" through his career. Expressions like "ring-a-ding-ding", "How's your bird?" and quotes like "You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass." Other greats, like John Lennon, were known to give sound-bites to the press. One that probably backfired was when he said "The Beatles Are Bigger Than God." Politicians, too, often make their mark through being unique.

Ronald Reagan was successful largely due to his sense of humor. When his opponent was rattling on about an issue he didn't want to deal with, he simply responded, "Well, there he goes again." People who become famous usually do so through their ability to think different, and then convey that. While your own personally calling may or may not be fame, it is still vital to think and speak in a way that resonates with your spirit and emotes who you truly are in the most unique way possible.

Don't be afraid to take chances. Be you. Be real. Be the person you need to be. What we think, feel, and say ought to be a reflection of our values.

2. Live according to a higher purpose.

Whether it be to have fun, to make the best xyz product, to be the best musician, to create a nurturing home environment for your family, to write a book about your experiences, or any myriad numerous things we may aspire to, the key with our life is to live according to a higher purpose.

What I mean is to live according to your most natural spirit, to embrace the force of life, energy, and being that is within you. This is tricky for many people. If you don't know what this purpose is, I created an e-book about Life Purpose and audio program to help you find it. You can find that at AspireNow's product section.

The key is in the questions we ask of ourselves. If you don't know the questions to ask, you can't get the answer you seek. I just help guide you through the path of questions. So, learn to be a seeker. As written in the Bible, "As you seek, so ye shall find," or something like that.

Are you being you? A terrific woman I know (pictured in Cat In the Hat costume, above-right) is great at dressing up, being a bit silly, and showing kids she teaches how to have more fun.

More Ways To Be Unique

(right: Elvis Live In Hawaii)

3. Your image matters.

THE WAY YOU DRESS CAN DEFINE YOU: Before you yawn and say "So what?" think about this for a minute. Almost everyone who makes it in the music business has a "look" to their band. The Beatles: funny hair and tight-fitting suits with skinny ties. The Who: wild flaring clothes and the original "rock" look. Elvis Presley: when you think of Elvis, do you remember the white suit from the Hawaii/Aloha show the most?

Madonna: her look captured in the movie Desperately Seeking Susan was copied by thousands of girls during the 80's. Johnny Cash: the man in black defined himself through a unique color at the time. Donna Karan, many years later, copied the trick. I recall a DK interview: "I just love black. I look good in black. Who doesn't? Black is both slender and mysterious and a little edgy." After reading that, I upped the amount of black in my wardrobe!


(Left: Geek is chic)

Even business people have a "look" to what they wear. At IBM, it was navy suits, white starched shirts, and a red or blue tie for many years. That worked for them. I've noticed that the quick upstart service firm utilized at Best Buy stores also has a look of black slacks, white short-sleeved shirts, and skinny black ties. This service company started by a savvy marketing man is called "The Geek Squad" and is enjoying phenomenal success. And, the counter-culture also has success by being different in their look and feel: Apple Computer became known for Steve Jobs wearing blue jeans. Years later, Jobs wears jeans with Black Turtlenecks. Again, have a look that says "you" to you and to people who know you, then use it to your fullest.

4. Who do you love?

Have you ever heard the expression: "He was a product of his environment"?

There seems to be a correlation between who we surround ourselves with and what happens in our lives. If you surround yourself with toxic people, you'll probably end up with a dis-ease of some sort. If your friends are mostly negative, you're probably a lot more negative than you realize. If your friends are all about making money, you're probably all about making money, too.

Consider who you surround yourself with. The ole' expression "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" also holds somewhat true with friends. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, was buddies with Henry Ford, the inventor of the model-T Ford car.

(right: My friend, Brian Narelle, who offers groovy cartoons.)

Entrepreneurs like to hang out with other entrepreneurs. Why? Because they like creativity. Musicians, same thing. It is more fun hanging with people who love, play, and appreciate music.
What do you want more of in your life? If you can define that, then you can seek out people DOING that activity or BEING that way! It's as simple as that. Now, another guideline I put in place a few years ago that I recommend to you highly is to seek out those in support of your HIGHEST GOOD. Therefore, if you have a friend in support of your highest good, they probably wouldn't lie to you, steal from you, or otherwise mistreat you.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Another thing I will add in here as a bonus is that I think it is good to surround yourself only with the possessions you like that make you feel good and reinforce your beliefs. Mine: elegance and simplicity. So, everything I have is designed to be elegant, yet simple. At least, that's the objective. What and who are you surrounding yourself with?

You will discover more about what makes you unique when you seek out others who are also embracing their unique nature.

Do you want to know how I do this myself?

My values: I believe we ought to live large every day. I believe in being honest and sincere in my dealings with others. I believe in laughter - as often as possible. I believe in sharing our ups and downs, but focusing more on the ups. I treat others with respect, so that I may be treated equally. I try to show love in each moment. I take time to balance my life with work, fun, and family moments. I love having fun with my friends and family (pictured left: yours truly).

What I wear: I wear suits for business and jeans with untucked button-down shirts for music and casual wear.

What I drive: (pictured, right) I drive a Toyota Tundra (mostly because I like the way I feel driving it) but I also have received numerous compliments on the way the truck looks. The truck is practical (except for the gas mileage) and being a big guy, I fit in it nicely. It also drives like a car, but rides a little higher on the road. That fits me.

What my house is like: I won't show a picture here, but I can tell you that my style is a mix of modern-eclectic-Italian. I have a blackberry velvet chaise lounge that everyone coos over, a cool bar with pop-up top that has a retro-mirror, lots of wood styles, clean furniture with a minimum of knobs, and a few other odds and ends. It's a beginning of a larger vision of things to come...

Who I surround myself with: I like interesting, funny, creative, and soulful people. I like people who are successful. I find people who have faced challenges more interesting than those born with a spoon in their mouth. Make me laugh, then say something witty and smart, and you'll have my attention. Be respectful and show you're doing something interesting, you'll hold my attention longer. If you demonstrate that you're in support of my highest good, you'll become my friend for a long time. I love spending time with musicians, artists, dancers, entrepreneurs, and highly successful people.

My purpose: I am here to advise leaders. I am here to show we CAN have fun AND be successful at work. I am here to help bring more love into our work. I am here to bring more love into our life. Am I succeeding with you? Please let me know how I can make a difference for you...
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

Soul Success on AspireNow Radio

Dr. Michelle Casto, Author, Entpreneur, and Life Coach is featured on the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self Help Radio Show this Wednesday at 6:00 p.m. PST / 9:00 EST.

Join Scott Andrews, Host of the AspireNow Show, live on Wednesday, February 6th at 6:00 PM PST, with Michelle Casto, Discussing Soul Success: The Quest to Attract a Higher, Brighter Life -

Call in- it's fun, simple, and easy!

Dial (724) 444-7444
Enter 37792 # (Talkcast Show ID)
Enter: 1 # or your Talkshoe PIN
and/or join from your computer (with LIVE CHAT!):

Become a TalkShoe member
Download and install TalkShoe Live client
Click here to join the Talkcast

It's going to be a lot of fun. Michelle and Scott have collaborated on projects in the past, and Wednesday night they'll be digging deep into the topic of what it means to have soul success.

About Dr. Michelle L. Casto, Ph.D.

Self-empowerment expert Dr. Michelle L. Casto is known as the Soul Coach because she delves deep into her client's psyche to shed light on what is longing to be seen and expressed. She is the founder and principal of Get Smart! and Brightlight Coaching, a professional training, coaching, and publishing company.

Her work as an entrepreneur, author, speaker and coach has resulted in international recognition as an expert in the field of self-help and spiritual development. One of her purposes in life is to empower millions of people from all over the world to attract more success and happiness by learning to graduate from their default life to their divine life.

Dr. Michelle is a highly sought after speaker and media expert. She speaks to people around the world on subjects ranging from interpersonal relationships, career advancement, life purpose, stress management, success strategies, practical spirituality, and creative life design. She is the author of the renown Get Smart! book series, dozen of ebooks on life empowerment, and hundreds of articles have been broadly published throughout the internet. She has been featured in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Atlanta Journal Constitution, The Caller Times, and numerous television and radio shows.
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

Your SOUL Self

Your SOUL Self

Who are we to say we can't? When the truth is always there, waiting for us to just acknowledge that WE CAN.

Our soul always believes in us. Our soul knows we can do what we want and live our dreams.

Our soul is part of the infinite conscious energy that flows through all things. How can that possibly steer us any way but where we ought to be?

(Image) Scott Andrews w/Black Market Trio at Carried Away Art Gallery (2007) w/Justin Perkins on Conga, Forrestt Williams, Bass

The soul is there, always shining, always interested in our highest good (because that simply IS what it IS). The soul only requires us to BE who we are, without worrying about WHAT is in store or WHY things happen. Just BE. When we live according to our soul, we're really living life as God and nature intended.

It is only WE who get can in our own way, when it comes to that stuff. Only we could let our ego get a hold of things. Only we could let pain from abuse beat us down. Only we can let that critical mind or negative self-talk talk us out of our dreams. And, yes, only we can decide when to push all of that junk out of the way and embrace our true self. It's our journey, after all.

I remember I let my own "shadow" self mess with me in my 20's when I played my sax, hours a day, just so I could play live in small groups in front of people. I went and sat in with my favorite jazz combo, the A.J. Johnson West Coast Jazz All-stars at one of the best jazz clubs in San Francisco, Jazz At Pearl's. If you haven't done it, sitting in may be the hardest thing in the world to do in many jazz clubs. You don't know what songs they're going to play and you're not the "home turf" band. But, I remember when I played "Seven Steps To Heaven" that I tore it up and thrilled the crowd and fellow musicians with my sax riffs. They loved me! People were saying things like "Where are you from, man!?" I felt like Charlie Parker, himself. I was on cloud nine. But the next night, I went back for more. This time was different. The amazing piano player, Mark Levine, returned fresh from a stint in New York playing with Pharoah Sanders (a legend on the saxophone). He called out a song that is half Latin-half jazz, called "Speak Low". You either know Speak Low, or you don't.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize that truth until too late. I thought I'd played it before but KNEW I didn't know the chords. Rather than just sit down or cut out, I tried to fake it. And, I bombed horribly. Every single note was a lizard. It was so ugly. I realized the bind I was in, live, in this ultra-cool jazz club, with world-renowned musicians, and flopping miserably. My face, body, upper lip, arm-pits - heck, I think even my scalp and my toes - broke out in flop-sweat! I let that experience stop me from playing with ANYONE for THREE YEARS. I was that embarrassed. I just felt like I wasn't "good enough" to cut it. How foolish could I have been?

They still LIKED me. I could still have gone back in there any time and played with anyone else. I just didn't.

Can you imagine a sax player as talented as me letting years go by without playing live, something I truly love and enjoy, over something as silly as flopping on one very difficult song (if you don't know it) on one night that probably nobody else remembers? Well, I did it. And, I'll never do that again. I was born to play, and play live.

Since that time, in my own band, any time anyone wants to create a song, live on the fly in front of everyone, I EMBRACE it. I go for it. And, amazingly, some of our BEST music comes out in those moments. I recall a night at the club called Blue, when my guitar player's wife, Katie, came up to me when we were jamming on this funky song, and she asked me, "Hey, what's the name of this song!?" I responded back, "What do you want it to be called?" She said, "Oh, did you write it this week in practice?" I laughed and said, "No, we're writing it now!" :) That's how good the band I lead can be sometimes (Body). It was a crowning moment of that night, to have something coming in the moment, music from our soul, pouring through our bodies, through our instruments and relaying to the dancers and listeners in the room so that they were so inspired as to want to know the song and remember that moment. Isn't that what music can be about, when we trust in our ability to hear and play, when it's great like that?

Now, I sit in with anyone, and if I don't know the song, I either say that, or I just don't play it at all. But, more likely, I learn it live on the fly. We get better in time. I control my situations more, but I also don't freak when I don't know something. Now, I embrace playing songs and changes I've never heard before. It causes you to listen with bigger ears. If I hit too many wrong notes, rather than flop-out, I cease playing for a minute or two, and just listen. Because when your heart and ears are open and when your mind isn't blocking you, you can play anything! It's a whole new experience. It becomes a SOUL experience.

It is a SOUL experience because that's when we are truly aligned with who we really are supposed to be: our spiritual self. We can be this self in ANY situation, at ANY time. Because the soul does not have those boundaries or limitations like time, place, or thing. It just IS.

That's our highest self. That's our highest good. That's our best person we can be.

Are you aligned with your highest self? Are you living SOUL experiences?

It requires you to stop the chatter... listen to the stuff inside you... get into nature and BREATHE!

Another really good resource on this subject is my friend, Michelle Casto (http://www.brightlightcoach.com/). Michelle writes, speaks, and coaches about embracing your soul and digging into the space beyond the clutter, beneath the chatter mind, into the space that enables you to reach what Stevie Wonder calls "Higher Ground" and be your best self.

I truly encourage you to embrace that part of yourself and live according to what you hear from THAT self: your SOUL self. See, that's what I love about jazz music. True jazz musicians always encourage each other to jump back in and play. Just play what you feel, play what you hear, and play it in the moment!

For coaching on this matter, contact Scott Andrews at 805-459-6939 or email me directly.

*****
Comment:
Scott, So glad to see this article on leading our lives from our soul's guidance rather than our ego's needs. You forgot to mention that we will be discussing this topic, Wed. Feb 6, on the Talk Shoe Aspire Now show:

http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37992
6 pm PST/9pm EST.

All who yearn for true fulfillment and success from the inside out should call in and talk with us!

Brightly,
Dr. Michelle
The Soul Coach
http://www.brightlightcoach.coom/
******
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

From Beauty Queen To Swat Team with Lisa Lockwood on AspireNow Radio show Wednesday, January 16, 6PM PST

Don't miss learning her personal story: Lisa Lockwood, author of "Undercover Angel: From Beauty Queen to Swat Team...a true story" live on the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help show!

Scott Andrews, host of the AspireNow radio show and founder of AspireNow.com, will be interviewing Lisa and discussing her exciting life story and highlights from her new book describing her amazing transition from beauty queen to swat team (and now life coach).

When:

Wednesday, January 16, 6PM PST (1 hour Internet Talk Radio Show)

How to Participate:

1. Visit http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 - this enables you to text questions and see questions/live chat during the show, and hear Lisa and Scott on the show.
2. Dial (724) 444-7444
3. Enter 37792 # (Talkcast Show ID)
4. Enter: 1 # or your Talkshoe PIN(Steps 2 - 4 enable you to call in LIVE and ask your questions or listen.)

Note: You can also download Talkshoe's Classic player to use the "Classic" version of the show format for text comments and show hosting, although this step is no longer necessary to join.

If you MISS the show, visit http://www.aspirenow.com/ and listen via the Talkshow player, or visit: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 and look for the January 16, 2008 6PM show!

Simple as that! See you there!!_______________________________________________________

Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

Online Self Help Experts

Are you a life coaching expert? If you're providing self-help, coaching, dating and relationship advice, motivational speaking, financial advice, and things of this nature, you are invited to join my AspireNow Self Help Expert Coaching network at Plaxo!

The criteria to join the self help expert coaching network is:

1. You've been providing coaching on a paid basis for more than three (3) years.
2. You speak professionally either online, on the radio, or on TV.
3. You are interested in collaborating with other coaches.

If this is you, you are invited - click here to join!

http://selfhelp.plaxogroups.com

Also, make sure that you do not spam the group - it is really important that we moderate and keep comments focused on coaching. Aside from that, if you like the group, make sure you CONNECT with me at Plaxo, too, so we can join our networks!
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This article is written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow. Copyright 2007. Plaxo is a trademark of Plaxo.com. No infringement intended.

You may republish this article only AS A COMPLETE WHOLE with ENTIRE LINKS and copyright messages attached. All rights reserved. Subscribe-don't miss out!

How To Discover Your Life Purpose

I recently read an article which stated you can discover your life purpose in less than 30 minutes. Is that true?

Yes - and no. For some people, who already know their purpose, but for some reason continually block their ability or willingness to LIVE their purpose, it really might be as easy as identifying the BLOCK to living your purpose, removing that, then go and live it.

For some people, this block is geographical in nature. In other words, if you just moved somewhere different, your purpose could flourish. Perhaps a change of locale would do you good. If you resonate with this, dig into it. However, be aware that every time you move you're basically looking at a 3-year reset in terms of your network, friends, social infrastructure, and more. It is costly to move - especially when you move to a different city more than a couple of hours away.

Other people block their purpose by living with the wrong person. If you're living with the wrong person, get out. Either that, or kick them out. The wrong person is usually someone who doesn't support your dreams. If the person you live with doesn't support your dreams, they're pulling you down. That won't fly if you're to live your HIGHEST purpose and FLY like an EAGLE, now will it?

The other way people block their purpose is to live in a routine that makes it impossible to manifest their dream. For example, they might work in a job that has them trapped away from what they need to be doing. Musicians and actors get trapped in this predicament quite often. This is the situation where chasing the almighty dollar (or whatever currency in your nation) becomes the focus, rather than doing what you love.

How To Discover Your Life Purpose:

You may have read "do what you love and the money will follow" and thought "Oh, so I just quit my job, go do my passion, and I'll get rich!" Well, guess what? That saying is WRONG! I know. I've done it. What the "experts" fail to tell you is that you can't just do what you love, you actually have to follow this formula:

1. Do what you love that people value the most.
2. Focus on providing the most of that value.
3. Remove blocks to your success.

You MUST eliminate time wasters - people, commutes, animals, video games, chatty phone calls, Internet surfing - whatever you do that causes you to waste time. Living your purpose may be challenging enough without putting thing in front of it that distract you.

Now, if you're still wondering exactly what your life purpose truly is, for you, I'll ask you the following question:

If you could do whatever it is that would make you most happy, where you are most loving, where you are providing the most value, and you're not limited by people, your gender, education, upbringing, society, or whatever else might stand in your way, what would it be?

If you can answer this question, you know your purpose. If you don't, well, then you might consider deeper investigation. I created a program for people who are struggling with this. It works. How do I know? I've used it myself. More than that, of everyone who has purchased it, the % of returns has been practically nil. That tells me it's working for people. It includes a CD, set of e-books, and additional bonus items.

You can get it here: Life Purpose Power Pack

If you don't want the whole CD and download package, and just want an easy to use, e-book download click here. Or you can start small and just get the 31 Success Tips e-book.

I have a lot of compassion for people discovering their purpose. It shows through my work. In fact, I prayed over it that it would impact your life to bring more love into your life, make you more successful, more happy, and able to love the life you live.

That's what AspireNow is about. It's what I'm about. If you resonate with that, please let me know! And, if you need personal help in discovering your purpose, contact me, as I can probably coach you through it in one or two sessions. I wish you success in living your dream life. Live like nobody told you, live the way you know you can, dance like noone is watching you, dance like a child. Life is what we make it. Make it what you want it to be in your grandest dreams.
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This article is written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow. Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.

You may republish this article only AS A COMPLETE WHOLE with ENTIRE LINKS and copyright messages attached. All rights reserved. To read more articles like this, subscribe to the A-Blog.

Find The Man of Your Dreams

Do you ache to know if you can find true love? How can you find the man of your dreams? Or, for guys, how to meet the woman of your dreams? Where can I find my soul mate? How can I find true love? Is my knight in shining armor for real? How can I meet the woman of my dreams?

Are these questions you've asked recently?

Women frequently talk about finding the man, finding true love, finding the man in their dreams -- especially when they are in an unsatisfying relationship. Guys talk about it, too, but in different ways. Woman will ask each other "who are you dating?" Men will ask each other "who are you banging?" I know, it's crass, but it's pretty true. You wonder why it's hard to find when men and women communicate in such different ways!

A recent study showed that most people would be willing to give up over 6 months salary to find their "true love". In some cases, this could be quite a bit of money. Think about it: if you earn $60,000 a year (which is just a little above average in many parts of America) you'd give up $30,000 to find the man in your dreams. Guys: will you give $30,000 to find the woman in your dreams? No wonder sites like Match.com, Matchmaker.com, eHarmony.com, and others have thrived during the Internet Age.

This article is about how to find true love anywhere and everywhere: taking steps in the right direction.

How many people know where to meet someone? Isn't that half the challenge of it? In many bookstores you can find dozens of books about finding love or dating for success. John Gray has made boatloads of money with his "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" books.

Why?

Because we all want to find a partner with whom we can experience deep, lasting love.

Fact is, just about everyone wants to know where to go to find our true love and have better relationships. The elephant in the room seems to be the question: How do we meet this mystical person?

Recently, I came across some interesting statistics that shed light on this situation. According to University of Chicago researcher Dr. Edward Lauman, here is how we meet our significant other:

23% meet at school
15% meet at work
10% meet at a private party
8% meet at a bar
8% meet at a church or synagogue
4% meet at the gym
<1% meet through personal ads

These stats may have changed slightly with the recent popularity of Internet dating. I've noticed that the chat rooms of the late 1990's are now being replaced by social broadcasting with chat rooms at places like NowLive.com. I know of several people who've met on-line. Over 65% of people met through school, work, parties, at a bar, church, gym, or through ads.

However, the interesting stat, to me, is that almost 30% of the remaining people met OTHER ways! In other words, they met doing something they LOVE. Whether that's swing dancing, listening to music at a concert, volunteering for a charity or meeting at the grocery store - you name it: people meet many ways.

The other interesting statistic is how the largest proportion of people (23%) still meet AT SCHOOL.

Upon seeing this I decided that if you were to replace the environment you have at school, you will have the highest likelihood of meeting someone you like. So, perhaps taking a class at a community college or enrolling to learn a foreign language might be a good idea. When taking lessons or studying a new subject where other people around your age and socio-economic background are likely to hang out, the odds of connecting will be higher.

A poor way to meet is through a newspaper ad, or through a singles cruise. However, I personally met someone from a newspaper ad once and we dated for a while, so I can't say rule it out altogether. I did notice that on a family cruise to Alaska, my nephew met someone last summer and they ended up hanging out quite a bit. But I'm not sure that's something that would work for everyone, and I certainly wouldn't go on a cruise for that express purpose.

So how do we meet someone, once we're in the right setting?

I look at it much like catching a wild animal (call it a cat, if that helps). There are at least two ways you could go about catching a wild cat. One method is to chase after the cat and try to catch it by pouncing on it -- which, as you know, is likely to scare the cat away and make it a little more jittery the next time it sees you. This method is unlikely to create success and more likely to leave you feeling frustrated and alone. This is not what I recommend to catch the man of your dreams. No, be more clever.

The other method is to go where the wild cats are, offer the cat some fish or catnip and wait quietly, enjoying where you are without worrying about whether or not you catch the cat. It may seem like it is taking longer - but this is deceiving, as you are relaxing and enjoying where you are. After a while, when you are relaxed, quiet, and comfortable, the cat may start to check you out. As the cat learns you are safe and have treats for them, they'll be eating out of your hand. Once the word travels, you may even have your choice of several "cats".

This approach works for MEN and for WOMEN. However, with men, you must be interesting, a little cocky, and funny to approach the woman of YOUR dreams.

Women, on the other hand, must maintain a sense of mystery. There's a reason the book "The Rules" for women was successful in getting men to marry more often: the women HAD A LIFE! If you're not available after Wednesday and you only return my calls one to three, the odds are I'll feel like I have to make you a PRIORITY.

Isn't that what you want, women?

Another method is to confidently approach the cat you want and offer it the milk you offer. A friend of mine claims that if you do not seize the world you're just a lamb and waiting for your slaughter. It works for him, as in general a man is still expected to be the person who approaches a woman (with confidence).

The most masterful trait, though, to finding love anywhere, is to simply send love out, without expectation, wherever we go. Sending out unconditional love, as a regular practice, is sure to come back to us tenfold. The trick to making money is often spending some. When you buy a new suit you can land that job sometimes just by looking the part. Well, with love it is the same way. When we are able to be confident and loving, the love we seek may come to us.

Look your best, be your best, and love the most. The world will turn in a new way for you when you do. And, you just might be surprised: the man of your dreams will be standing in YOUR doorway taking YOU out on the date you always dreamed of!

Best way to meet a man? Select a club (with higher percentages of men than women who go) that sounds fun to you. I've always been amazed at how few women will go into a microbrewery, yet men love to congregate there. They usually aren't getting too drunk there, and it isn't really the same as meeting "in a bar". Go just to have fun, without expectation of who you'll meet, and you just might be a surprised.

Men, go to dance workshops. Take a dance class, sign up for YOGA. Do it for YOU, not with intentions on meeting anyone.

I used to find that society benefit events were great ways to meet people. You're making a difference AND having fun. What could be more natural? Plus, you're sharing a similar cause - a sign of spiritual compatibility.

Do you have a question relating to finding the love you seek? Check out the AspireNow Advisor - full page solutions to your questions - it will save you time and money to get guidance on better ways to improve your dating.

What are ways to find the man of your dreams (or woman of your dreams), by sending more love out?

1. Take a friend to lunch or coffee. During the conversation, tell them three things you really like about them (with sincerity).

2. Buy a little gift for a friend, something that you think might uniquely appeal to them, based upon who you know them as. (No gag gifts - they might backfire!) It doesn't have to cost a lot to mean a lot. Gifting is an important component in dating.

3. Call a friend up on the telephone and let them know you are thinking about them. Is there anything they need that you can help them with? What fun things can you do to connect with each other?

4. Drop by a friends house with a gift, or show up with some food, and offer to share it with them. Let me know one or two things you appreciate about their friendship. Expect nothing more. Leave when it seems earlier than you might normally leave and thank them for having fun with you. This is being a REAL friend.

5. Host a potluck party. You can make it interesting and make it a common interest party. For example, my brother goes to a monthly "writer's" party. The group is mostly English Teachers, who wanted to maintain their own craft. Everyone brings their own beverages and food, and the host prepares a main dish. Each person writes something before dinner. They take about 30 - 45 minutes to write their poem or story. After dinner, they sit around and share what they wrote. I cannot express how much more you get to know people from doing a shared interest party versus just showing up to a regular type of party. I also host "theme" parties every year. Last year was the Motorcycle Diaries party. Not only did we have great fun, we also ate yummy food (Peruvian dishes, Chilean ceviche, etc.)

6. Offer to do small favors for people. This could be as simple as holding some one's books or handing them the hard to reach item in a grocery store. Random acts of kindness build opportunities for new friendship. Don't expect return favors, just do it.

7. Compliment people who stand out to you. Be sincere, concise, and smile, when you compliment. The more you practice complimenting others the more you will see how people light up at your kindness. I just talk with people everywhere I go. I ask them about the food, what they're holding, or comment on an article and ask their opinion. You'd be surprised where the conversations lead us.

8. Smile when you have no reason to smile. People like happy people.

9. Find an event you want to attend, and invite someone you are interested in to go with you. This could be a play, a movie, a concert, or even a book reading. You choose.

10. Find an event you are interested in, and invite nobody, but go with the expectation to meet at least three new people in a sincere way. Make the meeting about them: ask them questions, show genuine interest in who they are, what they do, how they have fun.

Remember, most people love to share about their vocation, travel, what makes them passionate, how they have fun, their hobbies, and children. Women love talking about their dreams, children, and friendships. Men love talking about their hobbies, career, and sports.

These are all pretty safe topics for most folks, and will build good will and better rapport than talking about politics, religion, sex, or other topics that are considered highly sensitive.

One word I can suggest: if you normally go out LOOKING for a man, STOP. Go out looking to MEET FRIENDS first. If you normally go out LOOKING for a woman, STOP. Go out looking to MEET FRIENDS first. If you normally HAVE SEX within the first couple of dates, STOP, wait. If you normally wait, maybe going earlier. Whatever you've done, if it hasn't worked, TRY THE OPPOSITE. You just never know. Sometimes by changing our behavior, we can break routines that are blocking us. Another idea is to go out with the guy who is "just a friend" and see how it works. And, treat the babe you'd have jumped before as "just a friend" and go for the one you'd have put in "friend" category before and treat as your new hottie. Again, you're mixing it up, and perhaps opening yourself to something more real.

Remember, as I said before, look your best, be your best, and love the most. Don't be surprised if the man of your dreams will be standing in YOUR doorway taking YOU out on the date you always dreamed of! And guys: don't be surprised when you find yourself WANTING her to say I LOVE YOU. Because when you have TRUE LOVE, commitment is natural.

Please note: This article is intended for entertainment purpose only. The author of this article may not be certified as a licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your situation dictates.

Learn more about AspireNow Life Coaching to improve your relationships.

Article by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow.com. Read more articles like this at AspireNow's Smooth Sailing.

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Copyright © 1999-2007 AspireNow. All Rights Reserved. You may republish this article only if you publish in WHOLE with the COPYRIGHT and ALL ACTIVE LINKS intact.

Do you have ideas for how you can meet the man of your dreams? How have you met your girlfriend or wife? How did you meet your boyfriend or husband? Share your ideas! We'd love to hear them.

When Others Lose Faith...What Now?

Have you ever felt like your safety net just dropped out from under you? You know, your husband, wife, parent, child, best friend, or other person close to you just RIDICULED or PUT DOWN or -- worse yet -- WITHDREW SUPPORT in YOUR DREAM!

I'm sorry. That's just not right. But, it happens.

Okay, so you're going along as (a) executive, (b) entrepreneur, (c) employee, or something like that, and for some crazy reason, or a set of reasons, your business or success is taking longer than you thought it would. So, you've drained more money than you thought you would. You have SOME signs of success. Money, customers, web traffic, phone calls. You know, the little signs of success.

But you're not getting rich (yet).

And, they've run out of patience. They think you're crazy. Perhaps, you've been called one of these names:

• Crazy
• Foolish
• Stupid
• Wasteful
• Stubborn

Now what? What can you do?

Do you feel like a failure? (yes/no)

If YES, WHY?

Before we go on. Let me ask you this? ARE THEY RIGHT?

YES? ____ NO? _____.

If the answer is YES, then follow their advice, and stop reading, because you already agree with THEM and don't need this article to help you make up your mind.

HOWEVER, IF the answer to this question is NO, then read on, baby!

Are you determining your success based upon someone else's barometer of success or on your own scale?

Personally, I would really be upset if I missed the answer to the following question:

Scott: "Did you live the life you wanted to live while on Planet Earth?"

Yes? __________ No? __________

There's only one way I want to answer that question: YES.

1. Notice, I didn't give myself a SCALE... on a scale of 1 - 10, to what degree would you say..NOPE. Just Yes, or No.

2. Notice, I also didn't say, "Scott: did you live the life your parents wanted you to live?" or "Did you make your spouse happy with you in your purpose?" or "Did you live the life your brother/sister/friend wanted you to live while on Planet Earth?"

See, because, although these people love us and mean well, sometimes they really don't know what it best for us. Sometimes, only we know that.

If it is an issue that is running between the first question and the latter, I vote in favor of the first. As William Shakespeare said, "to Thine Own Self Be True."

So, what is my advice?

KEEP YOUR FAITH. Have no doubt. BELIEVE in YOU.

Because, apparently, you're the most important person needed right now to believe in you.

How do I know this? Because you already said that the advice was wrong when you answered the first question, above. You already said they DON'T know best for you. In other words, you already know that YOU know best, you just needed me, as a messenger from God or the Universe or just the blogosphere space of the Internet, to remind you of it.

Now, get back focused on what is most important now, and go do it! Remember, as Lou Holtz, former pro coach of Notre Dame said, "to WIN is to do What is Important Now."

Post by Scott Andrews, author of "The Keys To Discovering Your Purpose" e-workbook and audio program. Copyright © 2007 AspireNow. All Rights Reserved.

Friendship: A Crux of Happiness

In my coaching experience, HAPPINESS is one of the main objectives people seek from life. A question that comes up is "what will make me happy" and then the follow-on might be "with my job" or "in this relationship" or "with my life?"

Or, someone will state a concern, but the underlying objective is really happiness. Stating "I'm not really content with my job right now," is a way of saying "my job isn't making me happy." Or saying, "He isn't really doing it for me anymore," is a way of saying you're not happy in your relationship.

No matter what the topic, whether it be our work, our relationship, our health, I find that building solid, strong friendships is actually at the crux or a cornerstone of building happiness in our lives. And the way we build strong relationships is to invite, share, and give part of our life with another person.

When I coach people on how to improve their dating relationships, the first thing I suggest they do is just build more strong friendships. Because the stronger your friendships, the stronger your dating relationships can be, too. The network supports the core growth of two people and helps keep them in the relationship if they ought to stay in, and likewise encourages they get out if they are in an unhealthy situation.

Friendships are also highly useful in business. I find that many of my job opportunities, many recommendations that helped me land a job, and many coaches to challenges I've had in my career actually came from my friendships. So, if you're at work and struggling in your career. The first thing I would suggest to you is to GROW more business friendships. That means, helping people without worrying about what they're going to GIVE back to you. It's hard to do at first, but a key especially when you're volunteering. It is actually one of the best ways to grow your network. Volunteer for an organization or event, such as the American Cancer Society, and then just try to be helpful in any way that you can within the time you can spare. Watch how many friends you grow from this. When I volunteered for the American Cancer Society, I made several great friends from the events and people I've met there. In fact, one year, I met my friend Jonathan, who later invited me to RYZE (http://www.RYZE.com), the first social networking site I joined that produced countless other business and personal relationships and friendships.

So, you just never know where one association might lead. I've been volunteering for the local Symphony Pops concert every year. Each year I've made new friends who were also part of the volunteer team. Try the volunteer route and see if your friendships don't improve.

The best thing about friendship is that when you least expect it, a friend might pop out of the woodwork and brighten your day. This happened for me recently with Belinda Farrell (http://www.HunaHealing.com), a master hypnotherapist and Huna Healing practitioner who also was my first Aspiration Advocate at AspireNow. I remember meeting Belinda through a Bonnie Coleen event I attended, where Belinda had a booth offering her services. I was drawn to her and became her friend. Then later that year, I offered her an opportunity to be an Aspiration Advocate. Belinda agreed. Today, years later, we are still friends. I refer people to her business, and I'm pretty sure she's referred a few to me, too. But, more than that, we care about each other.

Who do you know in your life who you would love to know better?

I totally recommend you reach out, do something, give something, show in some way that you care in a way that THEY will appreciate. For example, I'm just listening to Belinda's introduction and the word that sticks with me is "dolphins" for Belinda. Sometimes, sending a dolphin greeting, or a gift, might be a way to show you care for someone like Belinda. Or, invite them to an event you're participating in. Are you going to a seminar on sustaining the planet? Well, maybe your friend might want to go with you. And, it will be more fun for you to share in the experience. So, you can grow a friendship a variety of ways.

My friend, who I referred to Belinda, contacted Belinda regarding her "Chant and Forgiveness" CD program. Belinda, in reference to me, said something flattering like "Scott is a Masterpiece." I glowed when I read this. What a beautiful thing to say about me. When I reconnected with Belinda, there was such a warmth, such a depth of love in the connection, I realized: "Wow! I have a lifetime friendship happening here." How cool is that?

Our friends are so wonderful!

"Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans," according to Wikipedia. I really love what Wikipedia later lists as criteria for friendship:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
• sympathy and empathy,
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

A few years ago, I actually took this to another level and added: my friends are people who are in support of my highest good. It was the expansion of the first of these bullets. My question was: If someone is NOT in support of your highest good, are they really your friend? I pondered that question and decided, nope, only people in support of my highest good are truly real friends. If you make sure that a person you surround yourself with is in support of your highest good, has easy camaraderie, tends to have mutual understanding with you, and demonstrates both cooperate and supportive behavior; congratulations: you've gained a deeply rich new friendship!

It has been said that a man can die rich and still be poor. But the counter is you can die poor and be rich -- very rich -- with friendship.

Make your life an effort to grow rich friendships, and see how your happiness grows. Friendship is like putting miracle grow and water on your life. Plant seed, add friendship, watch happiness grow is the way I see this path towards happiness. So many people struggle with what they are getting from life. Well, the best way to make a new friend it not to GET, but to GIVE. How is your serve? If you reach out, offer to do something for each person you meet. It doesn't have to be incredibly time-consuming, nor does it have to cost a lot. Just do SOMETHING. GIVE SOMETHING or INVITE this person to some event you're participating in, and watch a new friendship grow.

I invite people I meet to my band gigs. It is one way people love connecting with me. People have invited me to their workshops, all kinds of things. OH - and if someone invites you to something, GO! Try to RIDE TOGETHER. Time together is the best recipe for growing friendships. The more time you spend together, the more you know each other and have a chance for really deep friendship.

Sometimes we make a trade-off in life of money for friendship. I told someone recently that I made less money living on the Central Coast than I made in the Bay Area. However, I have 10x the number of friends since moving here. So, was it worth it? If you're measuring wealth of friendships and wealth of happiness, the answer is a resounding YES. And, you know what? I wouldn't be surprised if the abundance in wealth soon follows, too.

As the title of one of the songs I wrote goes, you've got to "Give Some to Get Some."

How can you grow your HAPPINESS? By DEEPENING the QUALITY of YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.

The author of this post is a business and life coach. Learn more at http:www.AspireNow.com or http://www.ARRiiVE.com.