Digging in the Dirt

Have you ever dug into your relationship past?

Ever gone into a mode where you thought getting back together with an ex would be a good idea?

Well, let me warn you:

Some things don't change.
I call it "digging in the dirt" and I've been guilty of it a couple times in my life.

However, I don't think it is a good idea. I'll share why:

If you separated with your ex because they were impossible to get along with, displayed addiction problems, or other incompatibilities that were at your core level, there is very likely no chance in the world that with time, or age that those problems just mysteriously resolved themselves. Most likely, it won't take long before one of these problems will rise up and happen again.

There is little evidence of people who fought like cats and dogs 5, 10, 15, or 20 years ago being able to suddenly get along years later.

Now, if the reason you broke off with an ex was because of distance or something relating to having to move away for a job or other situation (military duty, for example), then there MAY be a chance you could reconcile. That is about the only case I would consider it, though. The only other one might be where people dated, loved each other, and just sort of drifted and then met other people. In those cases, it MIGHT work. All I can say about that is WHY did you drift? That's the question you have to get at to know if it makes sense to try again.

Because all of the other reasons for break-up: a) disrespect, b) mistrust, c) dishonesty, d) cheating, e) rude behavior, f) incompatibility, g) poor communication, h) bad habits probably
haven't really resolved themselves in the years since you split up.

There's another reason why I think digging in the dirt is a bad idea:

With all the fish in the sea, why chase after one that you've already swam with, played with, dined with, or even tasted, and spat out?

Really? Why go after something you already know doesn't fit your diet of relationship happiness? Instead, why not meet someone new, create new memories, with none of that ugly baggage dragging along behind you? Why not leave the baggage buried?

That is how I feel about digging in the dirt. Sometimes the best place for things that were dead and buried is exactly that: in the graveyard of lost relationship dreams where you buried them.

I've heard it said, that sometimes it is best to start with a clean slate and start over. Well, there's nothing better than starting over with someone NEW. Because with someone new you have a chance to build something loving, something fun, something common, that you never could have built with the relationship that you buried in the past.

If you're a single, searching for love, here's to meeting that someone new, special, and loving who will treat you right. Here's to meeting someone with whom you can really share love.

Care to comment on this article? Are you struggling with digging in the dirt yourself? Let me know!