Saturday, May 3, 2008

Bringing In New Love

So, you went through a break-up? What did you learn? How have you grown? Are you ready to meet someone new?

How can you bring in new love when you still hurt over someone else?

You might be thinking, "No, I'm still loving and hurting the person who I broke things off with (or who broke up with me)."

That feeling may continue for some time. I watched the movie "Swingers" again the other night. Swingers is a funny movie where the main plot is this guy named Mikey is trying to get over his ex-girlfriend, Heather, and in the meantime make it as a comedian in Los Angeles. While he's going through his process, his buddies visit him to commiserate and also prop him up to be the lion he is and get back into the game and meet new women. After all, he was blowing it with new girls six months after the break-up. Some of the situations were painful to watch. One woman, he was kissing, but then started crying and telling her about his ex. Date over. The next one, Nicki, he called her at 2:00 a.m. the same night after meeting her in a bar. Then he called her message machine back to leave another message. He got cut off again. Then he called her again, and again, and again - to the point where the message machine was some sort of twisted therapy, until finally Nicki picked up and said "Mike: don't ever call me again." It got ugly. He then sat in a pool of depression until one day, he decided to pick himself up and be a man again. His good friend pointed out to him "Dude! You're sitting here all sad when there is a blue sky day out there. Life is large. Opportunities are many and varied in this great world we live in. And there are millions of women in the world who would find a guy like you attractive and fun to party with. It is up to us to seize that moment and build upon our success. Nobody hands it to us, but if we open our eyes, and go for it, the world is ours, man! What are you doing stewing over Heather when you broke up with her? Get real! Be true to you and be your best self!" It's an inspiring talk. The next time Mikey went out, it was *on* with a character portrayed by Heather Graham. Mikey danced swing-dancing with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy with the girl, who responded nicely to being twirled by the suddenly debonair renewed Mike- the lessons from way back came back to him, and he had a great time with this new swing-doll. She also "got" his logo and understood what the image was about, when giving him her number. It was a case of mutual attraction. The only question remained, "Would Mikey blow it again, or get right?"

The shift:

Where the big shift happened was when he committed to a course of action towards new beginnings. When he met the character portrayed by Heather Graham, he used a process to instill discipline. Rather than call her back the same night, he put an X on the calendar and marked two days to wait to call her. Funny thing was, he then received a call from the ex-girlfriend, thinking about him, wondering how he was doing. In the middle of the call, Heather Graham calls. What did Mikey do? He hung up on the ex to talk to Heather Graham!

See, new beginnings are always out there, somewhere in the Universe. They are waiting for us and will appear as soon as our heart and energy is open to receive them. Are you reaching out to people around you? Are you going out and embracing new passions?

Examine who you are and be that person:

Life sometimes takes us off the track of who we are the most. Are you serious, or a fun, wild, and crazy guy? Are you a quiet woman or outspoken? Soft or boisterous? Penny-pinching or giving away $ by handfuls? Are you about giving or taking? Are you reaching out or open to people standing in front of you wherever you go? Whoever you are, be that. If you're not sure who you are and what you want, I've got a tremendous life purpose program (e-book) that will help you discover and live your purpose in less than 30 days (just follow the program).

Clear out the old junk and clutter:

I recently embarked to clean out the clutter in my condo. I've been going through all the old boxes, closets, sorting, and cleaning out anything with cobwebs, dust, or disorganization. The process is incredibly empowering! If you're seeking to create a new beginning, I recommend you do this, very much. I've got some other articles on clearing clutter, too.

Take up new hobbies where you meet fun people:

In addition, I recently took up Salsa dancing more seriously. Since I have, I've met numerous attractive, fun people. It's a ton of fun, plus they're really friendly and interested in creating friendship. A couple have even expressed something more... all I can say is I'm getting back in shape, stopped drinking, and having a blast! Are you doing anything like that for your life?

Be open to who appears:

When we create space by clearing out clutter and starting new hobbies, often an opportunity to meet someone new will present itself. Last night, I met someone new who told me "You're really quite interesting. You not only have this incredible company, you're highly talented on the sax, and you're a good dancer. It is impressive to meet a man with such diverse talents." What a charming compliment! It didn't hurt that this compliment came from someone smart, pretty, fun and charming herself! Where will connections like that lead? The choice is up to us, right?

If you're looking to begin new projects, create new relationships, have more fun, and bring in more love into your life, try this simple four-step process:

1. Dig into who you really are and what you really want the most.

Define what you really want most. Go after what you want. Picture it in your mind, and feel how it feels with the emotion of how you will feel when you have it. Picture this with your career, health, spirit, relationships, body, money, and every aspect of life. You'll be surprised how excited you might get about the future.

2. Clear out anything blocking you and clean out space to bring in new energy.

Remove the clutter from the past. Dust the bookshelves. Clean the closets, garage, floors, and walls of your living and work space. Get rid of anything you aren't using or don't have use for. Sell it in a garage sell or take anything else to Goodwill (donate) or throw it away. You don't need unnecessary clutter clogging up your ability to attract new energy, new work, new love, new friendships, and new possessions.

3. Go out and do start new hobbies, take a new class, and embark upon learning new things in a fun group of people.

I find it fun to dance, it is also fun to play my sax in bands again. Do the things you love. Learn things with enthusiasm and zeal. People WILL notice and respond accordingly.

4. Be open to who appears.

Make sure your heart is open, your attitude positive and friendly, your humor and confidence in full swing, and talk to the people who look charming, handsome, or pretty when you go out. And, yes, do go out. You'll be happier when you do. When they talk back, ask them to get coffee, ask them to dance, go skating, bowling, playing golf, whatever, just find something they enjoy and then go do that with them. You never know where it might lead. Be open to the possibilities and enjoy the process.

Bringing in new love may not happen overnight; however, with the right attitude, new love might be just right around the corner...

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1 comment:

Susan Kledzik said...

"When you are ready for a thing, it is sure to appear."


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