Why Dating Sucks (and How To Be a Happy Couple)

I just received this two word message in an email to me from a married friend:

"Dating Sucks."

My response:

"I like dating. I assume you meant "dating sucks, generally speaking" or something like that.

Marriage sucks more."

Okay, so if dating sucks, generally, why would marriage suck more, generally speaking? The truth is, they both suck equally. They both can be GREAT equally, too. (Yes, I was teasing my friend.)

The reason why dating or marriage sucks is usually because most people don't know how to be HAPPY. They expect other people, outside events and circumstances -- or luck -- to bring them happiness. This is not how to to become happy.

Being happy leads to happy relationships!

We become happy by creating a kick-ass life and realize our dreams. We become happy for enjoying every moment we are alive. Even when we can't pay bills, our health is sick, or our job is floundering, we relish the joy in being alive. That is the key to being happy. Well, wait a minute, we also become happy by being GRATEFUL for WHAT WE HAVE (not what we want). And how do we do that? By picturing our dreams and then taking the steps to live them out. Underneath that, I'd say "By living in a spiritually blessed way and following the wise ways to accumulate happiness." This is all true.

We become happier in relationships by simply loving where we are when we are and giving more than we expect to give. When we create happy, loving, fun, nurturing, safe, secure, successful environments, our relationships flourish rather than flounder.

Think about it. When are you unhappy in a relationship?

When you're EXPECTING your partner to DO something for you, REMEMBER that little thing you like, or GIVE you in a way you thought they might... sound familiar? It is false expectation and false attachment that undermines the potential happiness in each relationship.

That's why being married can suck, too. Because when people get bored in marriage we stop giving and start expecting and then when we don't get what we want anymore we withdraw and stop giving even more (or less). To my married friends, does this sound familiar? That's why marriage sucks (generally speaking).

Now, don't get me wrong: I've seen bad behavior on dates that would make most men run for the hills. I've seen a woman say she wants you to be a gentleman (then acts slutty). I've seen women say they expect equality (then sit back while I pay for the meal - even though maybe she knew I was broke at the time or maybe I bought the last time). I had a date this past May where the woman was DRUNK when I MET her. Apparently, she needed vodka to get over the fear of the unknown. Talk about a semi-blind date gone horribly wrong. It produced a funny story later, but not a fun experience at the time.

I've seen guys belch on dates, drink too much, ignore their female companion, and other bad things. I've seen a guy put down his woman as if she was a piece of meat. People act horribly when dating. I've even made my own mistakes so don't get me wrong I'm NOT on a soap-box. But, yeah, dating can suck sometimes.

But what kind of struck me strange was when my friend said "dating sucks" in reply to my saying "I was on a date and I'm not going to date her again because I really don't feel the chemistry." To me, that's not a date that sucked. I explored an opportunity, decided I don't want that, and I'll let her down with grace and poise. She's a nice woman. She has a decent job and treats people nice. She has a good sense of humor. She's smart. She just isn't doing it for me in the chemistry department. So, it is better to end it before getting involved intimately. I really don't think that people should expect every date to end in the clouds parting, violins playing, and kisses that leave you weak-knee-silly.

Sure, I'd like to date someone where the bells ring, the birds sing, and the heavens shout for joy... but the last time that happened for me - it didn't for her. That is when dating sucks! But even then, it's a good situation, because at least you know it wasn't an equal match. And, in the end, that's all I really want: an equal in love, joy, adoration, spirit, friendship, and communication.

When we discover that type of love, dating ROCKS!

It happens from time to time... give love a chance even if you've been hurt, okay?

Does that type of relationship exist? SURE! There are 20% of people who are VERY HAPPY in their relationship. And, guess what, there's probably another 20% of people who are happily married. These types of relationships DO exist. It takes a sense of humor, dedication, mutual honesty, and equal communication. It takes trust, respect, and commitment. It takes the chemistry, backed up by all these things, to create it. But I've seen it happen. My sister is married in one of those relationships. And, my friend who said "dating sucks" is in one of those relationships, too. Both of these women love their husbands dearly. And that, to me, is awesome!

If you want a safe relationship, don't threaten the relationship when you have a disagreement or act in a way that would compromise the integrity of the relationship. If you want a fun environment, act and show your partner you can both have fun together and create fun things to do together. If you want a successful environment, be successful in what you do. If you fail, redirect into a path where others are succeeding and go for that opportunity. When you get there, don't slack, but give it your all. That's usually how people succeed anyway. Then, when you're with your honey, express GRATITUDE they are experiencing all of this with you!

Be happy to have happier relationships!

Dating doesn't have to suck. Neither does being married. Just make sure YOU are GIVING what YOU CAN, expecting good things but not expecting mind-readers and miracles, and enjoying every moment. And be happy in who YOU are and what you do with your life. Bring that into your relationship. You'll attract that same happiness back.

If your job sucks, find a job that makes you happy. If your health is down, eat healthier, get your sleep, work-out more often, and get back in shape. If your lifestyle is boring, pick up those hobbies and things you always dreamed of doing when you were younger. It is never too late to begin living your dreams. When dreams become reality is when happiness manifests.

When you're happy, your odds of being happily coupled increase dramatically.
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Adventures and Your Dreams

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do... sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sales. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain

Life an adventure. Or, at least, your life CAN be an adventure.

What dreams are you living? What dreams have you allowed to die?

If you're not living your life fully -- with all gusto -- my question to you, today, is WHY NOT? What are you waiting for?

My father used to travel quite a bit. But last year, he started using oxygen at night. Now, it is harder for him to travel. He skipped Mom's trip to Greece last year. He'll probably skip doing anything exotic, like going to the Galapagos Islands. And, most certainly, he's not going hiking in Antarctica now!

See, if you wait to live your dreams, they'll just slip away. Not only will you not be living them, but then you'll hear of someone else who did and you'll realize "Oh, I'd always thought I'd do that!"

My life is an adventure!

I'm currently going for it full-on with music. I play with a couple of different bands, and pretty much ANY and EVERY time I'm invited to play, whether for pay or not, I go! Why? Because I love playing music, first of all, but second because playing music in front of thousands of people is a dream I will not let die. It is a dream I will explore. Each time I play, with different musicians or my regular band(s) with whom I play, I discover new sounds, new grooves, and enjoy the moment.

Last year, for the first time since I was a child, I created a painting. My friend painted over it, much to my chagrin; however, it was the experience of going for it. This year, I aim to start painting more seriously. This last year, I also embarked on a dream to start Salsa dancing. It is so much fun. I'm still not Intermediate level, but definitely no longer a beginner!

Are you expressing yourself artfully?

In business, I've launched a couple of companies, including AspireNow. They're growing. It's exciting to be part of a business launch. Right now, I'm helping a company called Elements launch their sales. I love it! Are you living your business dreams? If not, what can you envision that would be the best fit for your skills? Go do that! Make sure to negotiate the money you need to not only survive but thrive and you'll be even happier. It helps to have money in the bank, you know. Not only that, but money in the bank can help pay for the next adventure.

What are you doing with your career to live your dream?

If your job is just a job, consider taking a new approach. How can a job be a dream-come-true? Is this in the cards for you? Perhaps you need to stack your own deck so the dream of living your dream job is TRUE for YOU!

Where will you go next?

I have many adventures and places I still wish to travel: Brazil, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Colombia, France, England, Austria, Italy (especially Italy), and more. The list seems to grow! This year, I'm going to go to one of these, at least. I'm thinking Cuba may be the place...

Where will you go this year? Write me a note and share your own journey!

Want an easier way to manifest your dreams? Use Dream Board (Vision Board) software by Orange Peel:


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How Grateful Are You This Thanksgiving?

To my friends and people who read this blog, a popular holiday in America is approaching: Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Why? Because Thanksgiving is the time we gather with our family, friends, and people close to us to celebrate each other, life, and share with a spirit of GRATITUDE.

What are you grateful for this year?

A loving family?
Great friends?
A new job? Or, how about an old job that steadily pays the bills?
A growing company?
Creating something? Making music, art, love, money, people smile? It can be so many things?
Children laughing?
Thanksgiving pie? (In honor of my Aunt Katie who passed this year, I couldn't resist this one!)

Whatever you are grateful for this year, make sure to share it with those you love and those around you.

If you'd like to learn more about Thanksgiving, or even have a little laugh, check out my post Thanksgiving from 2007 called "A Little Thanksgiving Blessing."

May it be blessed with gratitude, love, joy, and happiness again this year! And, if you live in a country that doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, why not give it a try? You might find the practice quite beneficial to enjoying your life.
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Guru Mat Zo's Rascal's Guide To Enlightenment on AspireNow Radio Show

"The Rascal’s Guide to Enlightenment" with Mat Zo, Holistic Comedian, on the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show:

In case you missed this hilarious special guest, we talked about ways to become enlightened, and many silly, witty, and funny acronyms poking fun at the self-help, yogi-centric community. Hey, if you can't laugh at these things, you'll never manifest anything!

Learn more about Mat Zo at his website: http://www.gurumatzo.com/

Also, visit the A-Blog or visit: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 and click on the AspireNow show, then scroll to the show you want to hear. Also, make sure to click the "follow the show" box if you're listening from Talkshoe: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792.
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When Love Doesn't Fade Away

Have you loved someone, moved on, but noticed later that this person seems to still be present in your thoughts? I have. Love memory sometimes creates an interesting phenomenon that results in a reappearance or memory getting triggered from time spent, familiar activities, certain sayings, shared experiences (music, events, conversations, destinations), and more.

Lately, I've even found that a certain woman who I loved dearly keeps popping into my dreams. This is happening AFTER I thought I had done all the processing of the break-up, cutting cords, and moved on. Do I have an easy explanation for it? Actually, no, I don't. All I can say is that a part of me still feels very strong love towards her. I may always love her.

Can you relate?

If this is your situation, you really are faced with several questions, where you might ask "Does this mean..."

1. ... you have unfinished business?
2. ... you simply had a profound experience; learn and live from it?
3. ... you are still in love and belong together?

If the answer is #1, you may not be able to complete your "unfinished business" at this time. For example, if either of you have moved into a new relationship, whether dating or married, it may preclude any discussion or experience to find out why the love, feelings, thoughts, or other concerns haven't faded away. Even if neither of you are in relationship, there must be a door to communication. One party may have an interest, but if the other party shut the door you really ought not seek to reconnect until THEY reach out to you. That's my take at my current situation. If the dreams really mean something, the Universe/Spirit/God/Nature all have a way of directing us to "bump" back into each other in a random way at the right time. Trust that time and nature to direct you towards what is best for you and don't force it.

If they DO reach out to you, don't be rude and push them away. Hear them out and see what they have to say.

If your situation is #2, well, this is life. Sometimes, people may still affect us but if they were impossible to live with - or even date - then it is for the best to learn from this experience and grow from it. Incorporate the positives into your new life and make sure to avoid previous mistakes either in communication or ways you expressed your love. As long as we grow, we're living life and becoming our best self every day.

If your situation is more #3, then I have one simple question: "Have you BOTH expressed a desire, willingness, and interest in redeveloping a loving relationship together?" If the answer to this question is a resounding "Yes!" then go for it! Give love a chance... more than one couple split up only to find out years later that they really did love each other the most. I wish you both the best in learning new ways to resolve differences so that you stay together in your effort to grow your love together.

When love doesn't fade away, don't fret. Life is full of experiences. Sometimes the experiences will stay with us through our memories our entire life. There's nothing wrong with remembering someone we loved dearly. Enjoy the memory, and cherish the love you once shared together.

I feel strongly that love is an action word. If we feel love, we often need to reach out and act. If you pulled away because you were hurt, perhaps enough time and healing has transpired to reach out to the person you used to love. You just might be surprised what love awaits you in your future.
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Is Your Reality Matching Your Dream?

Are you achieving your dreams? No?

It isn't always an "automatic" that we're going to achieve all of our dreams. Maybe a job or career decision didn't work out the way we'd hoped. Perhaps a relationship went South instead of going past the Altar. Maybe our health set us back. Whatever the reason, at times we need to regroup and take stock of what is going on with the dream we had for our life and reality of what is actually occurring.

I recently did this with my own life, and decided a change was in order. I'd already changed my relationship, but as I took stock, I decided my career wasn't quite what I wanted it to be. So, I focused on how to help others where I knew the most, loved what they did the most, and felt I could help the most. That led me to a new opportunity as VP Sales for a technology firm. It is an opportunity for me to help them launch this company - something that matches my passion. It is an opportunity for me to regroup what I'm doing with AspireNow and ARRiiVE, and an opportunity to providing more funding while buying me more time with what I do.

In the meantime, once I made that change, I then could step back and review AspireNow and ARRiiVE.com in new light. Now, I've decided to make ARRiiVE purely about innovation in business launch. That's it. The selling programs I've offered there will be spun into a separate website, called "Concepts of Selling", the team-building process I've been working on will be spun into "SemanticCollaboration.com" with the software I'm building spun into another name.

You see, sometimes, when we adjust one area of our life, it frees us to adjust other areas, too. I chose one adjustment to lead me to another, then another, and then another. Each one of these adjustments is a way for me to focus the energy of each business or activity into what it really needs to become.

What can you re-tool in your own life? Is it time to dump one activity and replace it with something that better matches your dreams?

I'm not just talking about work, either. In my own adjustments, I also found more time to refocus my energy on my band, and that is thriving again over at http://www.myspace.com/body with many new gigs, a video, completing a CD, and more.

Take stock of your dreams. Then look at the THREE most important things you need to manifest to make your dreams reality. Then go DO THOSE THREE THINGS. When you do this, your life will improve, your happiness will increase, and you will feel much more fulfilled in living your path to match your dream with your reality.

Tools to help you achieve dreams:

Orange Peel Dream Board Software:



AspireNow's Life Purpose E-Workbook:

AspireNow's Life Purpose Workbook Life Planner

Become one of the 20% of people who live on purpose, and live the dreams you've always wanted to live. You can do it!
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Learn to Say "No" and Set Boundaries to Increase Balance

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Learn to say "no" once in a while!

Often the feeling of overwhelmed comes after saying "yes" to too many people, events, and activities requiring our personal time and attention.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, why not say "no, not this time, but please consider me in the future" as a response to enable you to clear some time off your schedule. If you're not getting the time to exercise, meditate, pray, or find other personal time, you're likely going to overwhelm yourself and hit a level of stress.

Boundaries are Useful to Maintain Balance

If you find people walk into your bedroom without knocking, maybe you need to put a lock on the door and a sign that simply states "Knock before entering." People get the message if you draw a boundary AND if you back it up by enforcing it.

Perhaps co-workers invade your office space without knocking or announcing themselves, you can tell them "You know, I'd like to discuss this. Why don't you schedule some time at 1:00 pm with me today?" This will enable co-workers to start respecting your time.

Are you giving yourself more than you can do?

We might want to blame others when we set the schedule ourself in the first place. If this is your situation, I recommend you stop blaming others and give yourself fewer activities. Almost every time I find myself overwhelmed, I gave myself a deadline that I didn't have to meet, or I demanded I do several things more than I could manage. Don't set yourself up to fail. This will cause stress and make you feel swamped. Instead, schedule in breaks, schedule in stress relief, and schedule one third the events or time slot. This will enable you to recover balance in your life.

Try these simple techniques and see if your life doesn't become more balanced, relaxed, and enjoyable.
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AspireNow Show Resumes September 30

This is just a quick memo that we'll have no AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show this week. We'll resume our regular scheduling September 30th at 5PM PST.

In the meantime, why not dial in to our ARRiiVE Show (see: http://arriive.blogspot.com) this Wednesday at 2PM PST or listen to one of the archived AspireNow shows at http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792.
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Blessings For New Orleans

Yesterday, the hurricane named "Gustav" slammed into the Louisiana coast at a category 2. The water surrounding New Orleans rose to the top of the levies - then held.

A prayer for the safety of the recovering city of New Orleans was answered today.

In honor of that moment and also in honor of Labor Day, we are rescheduling our broadcast of the AspireNow show and will broadcast on Thursday, instead of Tuesday, this week.

Stay tuned and I'll announce more in the next day or so...

Scott Andrews, Founder
AspireNow.com
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Where Is God When It Hurts?

(Image used with permission from FreeRangeStock.com.)

Having been through serious heartache this past year, I can totally relate with anyone who is struggling with the question: "WHERE IS GOD WHEN IT HURTS?"

When we hurt it may feel like God is not even there at all.

I want you to know that you CAN get through the pain of failure, break-up, loss, or other life challenge that causes you pain.

How do I know? Because GOD is ALWAYS there.

You see, the only thing is that God will HONOR OUR CHOICES. If we chose to be in certain situations, and certain events unfold due to those choices, it is within the power of GOD to HONOR that choice. How cool is that?

Not only that, but sometimes bad things happen to bad people, and sometimes bad things happen to good people doing bad things, and sometimes bad things happen to good people doing good things. This is all part of life experience. However, I find most often bad things happen to people (good or bad) not making the wisest of decisions.

For example, a woman likes to have three highballs every night (a functioning alcoholic) and one year has her pancreas explode and dies within the next month. Is that a bad thing? Yes. Was she a good person? Yes. Was she making a choice that was limiting her life? Yes. So did the bad thing that happen result from her choices? Probably.

Some times, things are just a fluke. One of my fellow students in High School, who I will call Rick Martin, went surfing one day and his back slipped out of socket. He went to the chiropractor to receive an adjustment. After walking out of the chiropractor's office, he started coughing up blood. His parents rushed him to the hospital. He died on the operating table six hours later. As it turned out, Rick's heart collapsed due to a "congenital defect" -- the wall of his heart had not formed properly and due to a weakness in the wall between the two primary chambers it collapsed upon first major stress. Once this wall collapsed, there was nothing to keep bad blood from mixing with good blood, and he died. It was a sad time for many people, as Rick was one helluva fun kid. Rick was smart and in many groups and enjoyed many friendships. He was a good kid, too. I worked with him at Taco Bell. We attended the same youth group at church. We shared some laughs at the Junior Prom. So, I knew him and felt the loss, too.

But, as great a person as Rick may have been, his time came and that was that. I later wrote a letter to his family. I never heard from them. I'm sure they were quite struck with grief over it.

When we go through times like that, how could it seem possible that God is even there?

I understand.

However, God is always there. You see, if "God" is "omniscient" then God is everywhere and in all things. And that means at ALL times. I like the Bhagavad Gita description of the Supreme Being: where both good and evil are comprised within this conscious source of energy. It is beautiful beyond imagination and horribly ugly beyond our worst nightmares.

Knowing this, we must tap into the good, and be aware of the dark side. Much like in Star Wars, whether or not we live for good and growth or for bad and destruction really boils down to a choice. Make a choice for good, and choose it again and again, even when it seems like the "Force" isn't with you. Because, in the end, God will be there - not just by your side or carrying you - but INSIDE YOU. When you realize this, you realize that it is your choice to see each circumstance in life as you choose. When you choose to see it as "good" then it probably will be good.
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. Rick Martin's name was changed to be anonymous. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

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FRED WINS: YouTube Traffic Wars Are Over

Is it possible that a 14-year-old kid and his two cousins putting on an IMPROV act as a 6-year-old with anger management issues and an alcoholic mother could be bringing in over 45 MILLION views on You Tube?! Is it possible that this same act, programmed with a video camera by kids for kids on the lowest of budgets, would have a larger audience than most CABLE TV SHOWS? Yes, it IS possible. Welcome to the world of INTERNET PROGRAMMING, where HOME GROWN often is the MOST SUCCESSFUL!

Check it out: FRED has serious numbers:

250,000+ hard-core subscribers...
4 Million downloads upon new video releases...
45 Million total downloads...
#4 ALL-TIME on YouTube!

FRED, in about two years, has amassed this traffic with improv comedy videos called "Fred Goes To The Dentist", "Fred Stalks Judy", "Fred Loses His Meds" and other funny skits:



Blogoscoped said: "That an act with millions of fans could escape the popular attention is more evidence of the digital fissuring of our culture. As we ensconce ourselves ever further in our respective demographics, personal and professional, we continue to drift apart from the people right next to us, until even an iceberg holding 4 million tweens can float by unnoticed."

I'm sure some people would find Fred offensive and obnoxious (well, he is hyper and the high-pitched screams would scare more than one serious-minded adult). However, I couldn't help but laugh more than a few times as I watched the FRED videos, which feature Nebraskan Lucas Cruikshank. I'm sure the kids who subscribe are laughing a lot more, too. According to the LA Times:

“They just think he’s the funniest thing ever,” said Valerie Moizel of the L.A.-based WOO ad agency, which found out about Fred after it conducted kid-centered focus groups for its ZipIt instant messaging product – which later showed up in Fred’s videos. “We watched them watch him – they fall on the floor hysterically laughing. They’re just mesmerized.”

It just goes to show that being funny tends to get a lot of traffic… I raise the white flag: the traffic wars are over: FRED wins! Here's to being FUNNY!

http://aspirenow.blogspot.com
"Seriously Fun Self-Help"
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Special nods to Robert Scoble, Mark Milian of Latimes.com, and blogoscoped.com, who contributed to this article. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

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The Very Best You: How To Be It

Dial in to the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show tomorrow (August 26, 2008) at 5:00 PM PST / 8:00 EST to learn "How To Be 97% More Successful Than Anyone Else" in this irreverently fun look at success.

Hosted by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow, this show will cover:
Why 97% of people suck, and how 3% blow them away... JUST KIDDING!

Seriously, we'll cover how, what, and peel back the onion of why certain people succeed more than others. Sure, 3% of people succeed more than 97% of everyone else. But do you know WHY? Are you happy with where you're at? Or do you want MORE? The simple secrets shared during the 30 minutes of this show broadcast will tell you how to get it. Have you found it? Dial in and Scott will guide the way!

It won't be a long show, unless you dial in or chat in questions during the show. So, dial in at 5PM on Tuesday: it's SIMPLE and EASY!

Visit http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 or simply visit http://www.AspireNow.com. To call the show, dial (724)444-7444 and enter 37792 # 1 #

Miss the show? Listen here:

Emotion and Goals: Mind Movies Create Your Future

What do you do when positive thinking, affirmations, reading books, and listening to interviews just aren't working for you?

Learn more about this powerful visualization tool here.

What happens when you know the Law of Attraction exists, and is supposed to work... but you just can't seem to raise your emotional vibration to where it needs to be to attract the life of your dreams?

Well, Ryan Higgins was in that boat, not too long ago. Working a job he hated, barely scraping by, and being generally miserable. He knew that visualization was a powerful tool to manifest what he wanted. But visualization isn't the easiest thing for many of us to do.

It's hard to see the pictures, it's hard to put yourself in the image, it's hard to get emotionally jacked up when all your mind sees is some dark and fuzzy attempts at a new reality.

Ryan is a completely different guy now...he has everything he ever dreamed of, does what he loves, and is the envy of all his friends.

Ryan discovered a secret, and now he's willing to share his secret with you. It's called a "Mind Movie" This is similar to the Dream Board software I've recommended to you before. It's a way to visualize integrating your EMOTION WITH YOUR GOALS.

If you can watch videos you can use this software. It's really that easy.

It doesn't matter if you can't raise your emotional vibration easily, as long as you like music. Any music, really... you get to choose. Although I do recommend you choose music that UPLIFTS you.

Mind Movies allow you to create a vision of what you want, together with your FAVORITE song… the one that makes you feel good, the one that makes you want to dance, the one that makes you smile and sing along.

Yes, a Mind Movie is an impressive multi-media tool that completely allows you to make your DREAMS and DESIRES a big, big part of what you SEE and HEAR every day. It's like a 3 minute slide show/movie of your perfect life.

Click here to learn about Mind Movies and start putting emotion and goals together for your own personal vision success.

You can watch it on your computer, or take it with you on a video iPod or mobile phone. And, the best part is --even if you have NO technical skills what so ever --Ryan and Natalie will help you make a Hollywood-quality representation of your ideal life in only one afternoon.

They show and tell you exactly how to write your script, using step-by-step memory triggers. Then they show you where to find the best free pictures to use to illustrate your perfect life.

Then they show you how to put it all together in a slick presentation, using breakthrough NLP strategies to help you shoot like a rocket towards your goals and ambitions.

These Mind Movies work, big time!

Want to try out a few Mind Movies first without spending just a few hours creating your own?

No problem, as a bonus you also get 6 pre-made Mind Movies that you can start using right away.

The pre-made Mind Movies are on:

1. Wealth
2. Spiritual Fulfillment & Gratitude
3. Health and Weight Loss
4. Closer Family Relations
5. Attract the Ideal Man into your life, or...
6. Attract the Ideal Woman.

These pre-made Mind Movies are specifically designed so
you can fast track your progress by watching them immediately
and they're also crammed with inspirational and effective ideas
to create your own Mind Movie.

If you would like to create the future of your dreams, let Ryan tell you more about Mind Movies and start manifesting your future now.

P.S. - You can also create your own

Mind Movie Affiliate Program.
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Kisses From Your Burning Artist Inside

Is there a budding artist inside you? Or perhaps you're a dancer waiting for a chance to move? Could you be an actor looking to be noticed? Could you offer a sculpture waiting to appear from within you? Or, perhaps you aspire to be a costume designer looking for a way to design in your own unique way? Is there a person inside you running counter-culture to the person you're being and living on a daily basis, who needs to be let loose? Perhaps, you are a rebel with or without a cause?

Perhaps you can make this coming week your personal time to give this "other" you an opportunity to breath and live. Or, perhaps, this is the real you who simply finds a home in this culture labeled by the "mainstream" as "counter-culture". Whichever it is, this is an opportunity for you to be your own "artsy" self, at Burning Man:


(Video entitled "Kisses From The Playa, from 2007 Burning Man)

Burning Man -- the annual event held in the desert where people become the artists, dancers, lovers, and creative sorts -- offers you an opportunity to embrace these aspects of your own artist self.

This year's Burning Man theme, as described from the Burning Man Website, is an evaluation and exploration of the American Dream:

In 2008, leave narrow and exclusive ideologies at home and carefully consider your immediate experience. What has America achieved that you admire? What has it done or failed to do that fills you with dismay? What is laudable? What is ludicrous? Put blame aside, let humor thrive, and dare to contemplate a larger question: What can America contribute to the world?

Whether you go to burning man or not, why not make this a week where you embrace art, dance, freedom, peace, love, and hope for a connected humanity without barriers. Evaluate the American Dream in your own way and see if you can find the art inside you:

Why not release your inner "Pyromaniac" (safely, of course) and make a sculpture, paint something on a canvas, design a new costume, write a poem, sing a song, burn something, and dance to the beat of your own drum!


(Video entitled "Burning Man Short Film, from 2006 Burning Man)

Editor's Note: I'll be playing my sax with my band, BODY, and getting my own ya-ya's out. Maybe I'll even sing a new song entitled "American Dream" at Mr. Rick's in Avila Beach this Saturday night! Maybe I'll light something on fire, too. Kudos to my friend, Lacye-Loo, who is going to Burning Man in 2008 and inspired this post.
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Get Fit Now With AspireNow Products

Many of you who read the blog may not be aware that I created an Amazon AspireNow store about a year ago. There are some great books in there for Life Purpose, Elegant Simplicity, Business Aspiration, and Smooth Sailing relationships.

Today, I thought I'd point out that you can purchase everything from a power yoga workout CD to a new stair master in the "Get Fit Now" portion of the store. I just added a few new products to the store, so there are new "hot products" you can browse. Check it out and let me know if I should add any cool products to help people get fit now with less effort and higher success:

AspireNow Store: Get Fit Now

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#3 Biggest Relationship Mistake

When we're in a relationship, we often try to communicate our thoughts openly. However, sometimes we use a "passive-aggressive" approach to our communication, and suggest through that implied communication or need that our partner must take action based upon the passive-aggressive nature of the comment.

This is where this communication tactic leads to long-term failure and break-down in relationships: if we cannot communicate and lead through what we want and mean then we're implying our partner isn't good enough or doing enough. This will put our partner on the defensive and lead to conflict and potential blow-ups!

What is the third mistake couples make that can cause such damage in relationships?

The #3 Biggest Relationship Mistake Couples Make:

Passive-Aggressive communication, rather than leading with what we truly want.

If we could only just say what we want!

Instead, we often SUGGEST what we want, indirectly.

For example, say that the house is a mess. Rather than say "The house is a mess, so I'm going to clean the kitchen and front-room and I'd like you to clean the bathrooms and bedroom" we say "The house is a mess. We need to clean this pig-pen up!"

Notice, it SEEMED like we were owning our part, by saying "we need to clean this up" but the IMPLIED message is "YOU need to clean this up" to the partner who receives this message.

This is what I mean by passive-aggressive communication.

How about you? Are you guilty of using passive aggression to communicate with your partner?

Try saying what you mean and what you really want.

I'd like to go to a play tonight. Will you go with me and buy our tickets? Is much more direct than "Why don't we ever go to any plays... you never take me anywhere."

Here's my question for you:

Do you make statements that IMPLY your partner ought to do something that you want?

When you make statements that imply your partner ought to act in a certain way or do a certain thing, but are not directly asking for what you want, you are not communicating in a way that will build up your love. Rather, you'll likely build up to a conflict in the future.

Want a different approach?

I'd like to recommend a powerful relationship coaching system that utilizes a 4-step cure to problems like "The Biggest Mistake We Make In Relationships = Using Passive-Aggression" developed over the past few years by my affiliate partners, Paul Sterling and Kristin Denton. The Magic Relationship System Paul and Kristin developed is outstanding and I recommend it. Their system is based on Marshall Rosenberg's "Non-violent Communication" along with other systems Paul and Kristin discovered mitigate relationship conflict and bring two lovers closer together.

Dig through their site, learn more, and sign-up for their system all through this link:

Get the Magic Relationship System

Enjoy! Best of success to you in building true love!

Comment below to discuss your own challenges in creating stories and believing in erroneous stories.
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Health care for ALL PEOPLE across ALL NATIONS

"Health care for all people..."

What do you think when you hear this phrase?

Add to it: "... across ALL NATIONS" and the idea becomes more daunting, doesn't it?

I challenge you: is is possible to provide health care for all people across all nations?

Is the concept of "universal health care" too costly to be practical? Or is this possible to provide quality health care at an affordable price for all people?

What can be done to manifest this idea into reality?

Call me a dreamer, but I WANT QUALITY AND AFFORDABLE UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE FOR EVERY HUMAN BEING. I'm not sure it is a divine right to be healthy. But it is a worthy ASPIRATION. I'm not the first to express this aspiration, either:

"Of all forms of inequity, injustice in health care is the most shocking and the most inhumane." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The truth of the matter is that in most cultures there is a delta between the people who "have" and those who "have less" than the first people. The richer and poorer and in between are the middle-class. Everyone WANTS quality health care. But not everyone can AFFORD health care.

The problem we face is that those who have health care provided through their employment only want to keep their costs lower (at reasonable quality) but much less so provide quality health care for those who DON'T have coverage.

In a related topic, I share a video about whether or not people could receive quality health care in a third-world environment. In the video, you meet Dr. Ernest Madu, Founder of the Heart Institute of the Caribbean in Kingston, Jamaica. I recall that a few years ago someone said to me they would never consider vacationing in the Caribbean because "they have no quality health care there if something were to happen." Dr. Madu demonstrates it is possible to offer world-class health care in the developing world, by utilizing smart design, implementing intelligent technology, and possessing a strong desire to serve others. Can his concepts be applied to universal health care?

Check it out:



I believe it is possible AND affordable to provide universal health care for all people. Remove corporate greed, utilize smart design, technology, and create a desire and this CAN be done.

Dr. Madu might agree with me.

What do you think? Is it possible to provide health care to ALL people across ALL nations?

P. S. - If you're seeking a cure for insomnia, don't miss this opportunity: Get Tranquil Sleep Now.
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You Are Called To Be Your Highest Purpose

What business are you in? People sometimes ask me this question. Of course, depending upon the moment, I suppose I could answer "Author, Businessman, Entrepreneur, Speaker, Salesperson, Musician, Song-writer, Blogger, or a host of other things" but I really think I'm in the business of LOVE.

That's because everything I do, I do to help bring more LOVE into the world. Whether it be through more success, ways to be proactive, ideas on launching products, playing the sax, hosting my radio show, and so on... all of these things bring more LOVE into the world in one way or another.

Do you know why you are here, reading this, right now?

The reason is because you are CALLED! You are CHOSEN to a higher purpose.

There is a very important reason why you are alive at this point in time. Do you know what it is? The answer is within you. What are people saying about you? Is there a voice inside you, urging you to DO SOMETHING BIG?

My guess is you feel and hear that voice, right now.

Are you trying to stifle that voice? Or let it out?

Because, whatever you're feeling called to do, it is time RIGHT NOW to do it! It is time to LIVE YOUR PURPOSE and DO what you are CALLED TO DO. Do not delay.



If there is a "counter-voice" to that little voice of your soul crying out for you to live your most powerful life, that voice must not be given power over you. Whether you've been telling yourself "I'm not educated enough" you ARE educated. Whether you've been saying "I don't have the talent" well, people with perhaps more talent won't do as much as you. Whether you're saying "I'm too old" well, NOAH and JOB in the Bible realized more success in their elder years than all the years before that. In our more modern era, President Lincoln had his greatest success the last five years of his life. President Kennedy's father made more money during his latter years than all the years he was in Hollywood or a bootlegger.

You might be surprised, but the answer is within you as to why you are called and ONLY YOU can answer that call.

Today is the time. NOW IS THE DAY. Start now. Do not delay.

I'll share a quote from the wonderful Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson, from Return to Love (hardcover p. 165, paperback pp. 190-191): http://www.marianne.com/index.php

Let your light shine. Do not shrink from the greatness within your own being. You are a beautiful being and nobody can take that from you. It is your calling. Live it today. Begin now.

Are you ready to take a QUANTUM LEAP FORWARD?



I encourage you to take more steps. If you'd like coaching from me or one of my wonderful AspireNow Advocates and other coaches, contact me and I'll help you get the right coach to ask the questions and guide you on your path to success.

Be your best self! Be the miracle you wish to see happen in the world!

Editor's Note: Since writing this article I've received 10 emails thanking me for the timeliness of this information. If you find this a benefit, feel free to donate to AspireNow (see above) but one way you can also donate is to SHARE YOUR STORY with us! I love success stories, or stories of how people are moved by articles. Thanks and all the peace, joy, love, hope, and success to you!
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Why You Do What You Do

I'll be discussing how to discover what drives you with "Why You Do What You Do" on the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show this Tuesday evening at 5:00 PM PST 8:00 PM EST (show airing August 19, 2008).

To Call the show, dial (724) 444-7444 enter 37792 # 1 #

OR

Listen online at http://www.AspireNow.com. You can also listen here at the player:

Yeast Infection No More - Book Review

Why Is Yeast Infection No More The Best Selling Candida Book In Internet History, With Thousands Of Satisfied (And Now Yeast Infection Free) Users In 127 Countries Worldwide?

Yeast Infection No More is the #1 best selling candida ebook in the history of the Internet for a reason...


Thousands of women and men of every age have completely cured their yeast infection condition and gained complete freedom from candida related symptoms naturally, without drugs, creams or "magic potions," simply by using the clinically proven, scientifically-accurate step by step method found inside this amazing yeast infection freedom guidebook.

Linda Allen, a certified nutritionist, health consultant and author has not just pumped out yet another "anti-yeast program" into an already over-saturated market. Linda's Yeast Infection No More can be more accurately described as a "Candida Bible." It is quite simply one of the most comprehensive, complete, and precise guides to candida freedom you will ever read. What makes it so much different than other yeast infection publications on the market?

What I like best is Linda Allen's 5-step system to solving the Yeast Problem.

Well first of all, it's not just a "yeast infection relief" program, it's a candida cure program. This may seem like semantics or wordplay at first, but once you've read just the first chapters, there will be no doubt in your mind that pursuing "yeast infection relief" is not only the wrong goal, it may be the reason that you've failed to stop and maintain your 'candida free internal environment'. Yeast Infection No More shows you exactly why you should fix the internal problem that's causing your yeast infection, not just masking the symptoms or getting relief and then goes on to show you exactly how to do it.

Secondly, what makes Yeast Infection No More different is the amount of attention that is paid to each and every element required to achieve permanent freedom from candida albicans related symptoms. Yeast Infection No More not only thoroughly discusses the lies, myths and fallacies surrounding a very confusing subject, it is simply the most detailed book about yeast infection, and holistic health ever written.

The Yeast Infection No More book is quite extensive (150 pages of rock solid content) which focuses on 100% natural yeast infection treatment. That means there aren't recommendations for harsh prescription drugs with nasty side effects. In yeast infection No More core formula section (The 5 step system) - Nothing is held back. In this section, Linda gives a detailed overview of each step, and then dives into the specifics in a perfect chronological order. There are also outstanding charts and checklists which make it very easy to know where you are at in the program and follow it.

Because the Yeast Infection No More program is not a quick fix ‘fairy tale’ cure but a complete holistic solution aimed at eliminating the root cause of yeast infection and candida (regardless of their severity) and ensure your will permanently be candida-free, it does take work and persistence to complete. "The dictionary is the only place success comes before work" says Linda, as she emphasizes the "no quick fix" philosophy behind the entire book.

If there is any drawback to the Yeast Infection No More ebook, it's that it contains so much information, that some readers may find it a bit overwhelming. Those who are looking for a quick start type of candida program, might be a bit intimated at first. The good part however, is that even these types of readers can feel confident and assured that it will be worth the effort because this will literally be the last book they ever have to buy on the subject.

Who will benefit most from Yeast Infection No More?

In the broadest sense, anyone and everyone who needs to cure their candida and regain their natural inner balance will benefit from Yeast Infection No More. This ebook is honestly for everyone. Even people without yeast infection. This is a total health rejuvenation program better than 98% of the nutrition and alternative health books on the market. In fact, the advice in this ebook is guaranteed to help you with any other health condition you might have, especially if you suffer from digestive disorders such as IBS, Leaky Gut Syndrome, bloating, chronic constipation allergies and acne.

In terms of graphic design, Yeast Infection No More is a clean and professionally formatted PDF e-book. It is well organized and ideal for printing and reading in the comfort of your own home.

Here's a copy of the PDF cover:


This impressive and unique publication has changed many lives and the hundreds of inspiring testimonials and success stories are found on the Yeast Infection No More website archives as proof.

The Bottom line?

Anyone looking for a quick fix solution to candida infection, anyone looking to be told fairy-tales, and anyone looking for a "magic bullet", anti-yeast pills, over the counters, 'yeast infection freedom in 2 days' hyped up programs should not waste his or her time with Yeast Infection No More.

On the other hand, anyone searching for the truth about candida and alternative health and who is ready and willing to put in some work and make the lifestyle changes necessary to achieve candida freedom, will find Yeast Infection No More to be one of the best investments they ever made in their lives.

Click here to learn more about Linda Allen's Yeast Infection No More: www.YeastInfectionNoMore.com


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For Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer

What Happens When Communication Breaks Down In Marriage?

(Note: This is a guest article by Amy Waterman from Save My Marriage Today.)

It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.

This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. My partner told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I lashed back in defense. It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of aftershave. But to me, it represented something much deeper, that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.

Aftershave, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my partner when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"

I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.

I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night" was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.

So where to from here? My partner felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, whereas I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. It was never about me trying to make him feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.

Communication, communication, communication. I need for my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. It is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.

When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.

We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.

A good lesson to learn, even for the experts…

************************************************************************************************************

This article is brought to you by Save My Marriage Today.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! My Save My Marriage Today course has helped save thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver results or your money back.



You can’t afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100% - you need the BEST information now! You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results ... guaranteed.

You have to go to http://www.savemymarriagetoday.com/ and get a system to help you improve your marriage.

Because your marriage deserves better!

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Buy Your Blogger A Cup of Coffee

Go Ahead, Make My Day!

Okay, so those of you who know me well know I rarely drink coffee (I'm a tea drinker)!

However, it still MAKES MY DAY when I see someone has chipped in with a donation towards my efforts as a blogger. Not sure why it is, but receiving "Pennies from Heaven" always makes me smile. Frankly, blogging often seems a bit like leading a musical band (mostly a thankless job, ha!). I continue to post articles and yes, I know people read them when I get comments, but it isn't really like there's an instant gratification thing that happens when you click "publish" with each new post.

So, if you're enjoying this blog, why not chip in to eliminate "Blogger Blues" and help boost your Blogger's morale by voting not just with your voice of approval, but also with a small PayPal donation. It helps me cover the cost of my time developing additional resources to share with you here at AspireNow.

Wait, there's more: I was watching PBS and decided to copy them and offer you GIFTS for donating to my cause. Cool, huh? Yep, these products normally cost you money, but for a limited time I'll include them as a bonus gift for your contribution to AspireNow:

Here's the easiest ways to do it (share more than a cup of tea, and I'll share with you, too)!

Donate $1 to AspireNow and make me smile.

Donate $5 to AspireNow and make me smile bigger!

Donate $10 to AspireNow; make me smile, get an inspirational quote and postcard ($5 value).

Donate $50 to AspireNow; make me smile, get an e-book about Success Secrets from Millionaire Superstars + inspirational quote and postcard and 1 Best of AspireNow Radio CD ($29.95 value).

Donate $250 to AspireNow: make me smile, get an e-book about Success Secrets from Millionaire Superstars, an inspirational postcard, a 3-CD set of Best of AspireNow Radio, and the AspireNow: Methods to Discover Your Life Purpose e-workbook ($149 value).

Donate $1,000 to AspireNow: make me smile, get a bonus e-book about Success Secrets from Millionaire Superstars, an inspirational postcard, a 3-CD set of Best of AspireNow Show, and the AspireNow: Methods to Discover Your Life Purpose e-workbook, 2 hours with Scott Andrews 1-on-1 coaching ($549 value).

Donate $5,000 to AspireNow: make me smile, get a bonus e-book about Success Secrets from Millionaire Superstars, get a 3-CD set of Best of AspireNow Radio, and a free download of AspireNow's Methods To Discover Your Purpose e-workbook, and 5 hours with Scott Andrews 1-on-1 coaching ($1,110 value).

Donate (fill in the amount) to AspireNow and I'll offer whatever seems cool to offer you.

Note: I appreciate anything you decide to share, and I'm grateful you care enough to show it.

If you've been reading this blog or listening to our free radio show regularly and enjoying what we do, like the song from "My Fair Lady" don't just tell me, SHOW me! (hee hee hee)

Thanks for your support and I'll be chatting (or blogging) with you again soon.

~ Scott

P.S. - I'll be offering a bonus teleconference for anyone who chips in towards AspireNow's Blog this month (August 2008). There will be a secret password to join this call, where I'll be sharing several new secrets of building the life of your dreams with you.
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Success Does Not Come in a Box at AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Radio Show

Check it out: Dr. Michelle L. Casto, Author and Life Coach talks with Scott on the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show this week.

Topic: "Success Does Not Come In A Box: Go from Job Stress to Career Bliss"

When: Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 5:00 PM PST / 8:00 PM EST

Where: Call (724)444-7444 Enter 37792 # 1 # or visit http://www.AspireNow.com or http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 to visit online and/or text-chat questions for Michelle.

Details: Tired of the "Get-rich-quick" offers flooding your email? Does an e-mail degree really mean you're ready for a new career? Get a better plan with Michelle Casto, who offers an enlightened approach to career transition in this week's AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show. Why perform work that makes you sick and feels like you are selling your soul for money?

In this thought-provoking show where Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow.com, interviews Dr. Michelle L. Casto, the Soul coach, you will learn how to:

Break the cycle of chaos and confusion.... make this your "Turning Point Moment" towards the success and happiness you desire and deserve.

Discover how MEANING AND MONEY can go together...find out how to do it and why this combo makes your heart sing with joy.

Start living your dreams... realize the passion and balance of living your best, true self.

Find out the simple, fast, and easy way to make a SPIRITUALLY SMART career change.

Learn many more tips towards a successful career transition...determine a method to select a career coach who understands you.

And, as always on the AspireNow Show... be inspired to reach your higher aspirations!

What's great about Michelle is that she's led over 200 courses on career change the past 10 years. She's literally a MASTER at the process. Why fumble along on your own when a wise coach, with empathy and understanding, can help guide you on your path.



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You Want To Be An Entrepreneur?

If you have an inkling of an idea, you might be considering becoming an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurs have an interesting life, without a doubt.

However, I'll point out several aspects of entrepreneurialism I discovered the old-fashioned way: from the school of hard knocks!

1. Your "Big Idea" is just that. Somewhere between 5 and 500 other people in the world may have had the exact same light bulb moment you did. The only difference is who will ACT on their big idea.

2. Your "Big Idea" is just a beginning. Where do you go from here? How do you create a plan? What ways might you implement your strategy? Who will you hire? Where will you base your headquarters? Who should you hire to help? There are so many questions facing entrepreneurs - start to make a list of ways you think you might need help. Then seek out resources to help you in your journey.

3. Most companies do not fail because their idea stinks. Most companies fail because their execution stinks. What am I talking about? Well, for starters, how well are you managing your money? This is the #1 place businesses fail.

(# Months) Life of business = $ in bank - burn rate per month + new money in.

This is the bottom line. Yep, cash IS king! If you're able to get your ego out of the way, you might look at this first:

a. How much money are you bringing in versus how much money are you spending?

When you can answer that question and the money in is greater than the money out, you're getting somewhere!

What's the next biggest area of execution where people fail? They go it alone. It isn't easy to be an entrepreneur. It's even harder to do it by yourself. This is why my firm, ARRiiVE Business Solutions, has two "i" letters (and why they're emphasized) -- because you no longer have to feel you're launching your product by yourself. I help you and we're now a team! i and i is the Rastafarian way of saying "we" so why not "i" and "i" doing it together?! Anyway, decide what kind of help you want on your team: marketing, legal, financial, operational, managerial, sales, support, HR, etc., and go get it. Most companies need help with either marketing or operations. The positions I've hired or outsourced have been marketing 60%, operations 25% and legal and financial the remainder. Make sure, at the least, that you have a good attorney and a good accountant. Their advice is always handy.

b. Get good help. Most entrepreneurs have a difficult time getting past their ego. If you can't get beyond your own "I think I know the answer" problem most entrepreneurs suffer from, you won't ever lift a finger or write a check to get help from people who can and will help you. I'd start with your operations. Make sure you have a solid product or service to offer FIRST, then you'll have a solid way to make money.

c. While you're getting help, make sure your marketing is in order. Most entrepreneurs skimp on part of their marketing. Perhaps they think that saving money in this area is wise, but it is the wrong place to save (I'll say more on that in a bit) but no -- make sure you spend money where you need to in order to have solid marketing.

Critical Marketing Keys:

1. Poor logo. Your logo represents what you do. When I designed my first logo, I hired a graphic designer to help. (See www.AspireNow.com). My second logo, third, fourth, and fifth, I hired out help, too. Now I design logos for others whenever I want the side work, see www.ARRiiVE.com for an example of a logo I designed.

2. Business card. Hire a professional designer and use proper card stock. You'd be surprised how much more seriously people take you when you make this one simple change. If you're using the avery inkjet printer cards, stop right now, call me. I can help you. The layout on your card is as important as the stock. I've also seen people skimp thinking they know graphic design (artists, especially) and then after I get through with their card, they always thank me for improving their card design.

3. Website. Get your website right. Don't start big (like I did) start small. Keep it simple. Then focus on getting the word out and building traffic. The good news is that today you can start a website far less expensively and with much more power than when I started AspireNow.com. The bad news is that there are MILLIONS of sites you're now competing with. You'll likely need to hire an expert who knows how to get Top 10 position on Google and can teach you tricks how to drive traffic to your site (hint, hint). I have designed many websites. At ARRiiVE Business Solutions, I still offer web design as a service even though I now outsource 98% of this work. This is a good thing, because you gain extra eyeballs on the site design challenge and also gain another expert's opinion in the process, along with someone who's been there and done that and also understands layout AND sales copy. I find this useful to my clients and they're happy with the end-result.

4. Off-line promotions. Are you going to trade shows? Are you going door-to-door? Are you speaking publicly about your services or related topics? (Speaking drives a considerable stream of revenue to my business). Have you created a nice 3-part brochure that showcases your product(s) and service(s) properly? Again, hire it out, do it right. But once you have the material to hand someone, you have to take ACTION and get out there. Go to networking events. Leave them with something but always ASK FOR SOMETHING in return. How can they help? Who do they know? Can THEY use your service?

5. Hone your sales skills. Entrepreneurs must learn to sell or they will fail - period. You must be a good salesperson. Right now, I offer a lot of sales advice at the ARRiiVE: Innovations In Business blog. You can browse around there, although sign-up for the blog on email because in the future I'll be offering video training to help you improve your sales techniques and grow success.

6. Improve Your Marketing Pitch. When you can say what you do in 20 seconds and people get excited and ask you to meet with them, you've got your pitch refined. Seriously, that's the essence of it, right there. Test it, test it, test it, practice saying it BEFORE that important contact at the mixer you attend, so you have it right on target there and capture what you need from those vital interactions.

There's so much more to being an entrepreneur... if I could leave you with one super-valuable piece of advice I learned the hard way: downsize your expenses immediately. Many entrepreneurs only give themselves 6 months worth of money to make it. We all read how it takes entrepreneurs up to 5 - 10 years to succeed, but then why would we only allow our self only six months? This is stupid. It is ego. Take out your ego and downsize immediately if you are serious about making this dream a reality. Sell your house, drive a less-expensive car, get rid of HBO, do whatever it takes, but downsize your bills. Figure out how to give yourself a 5 year money plan and then spend your money wisely.

If I had done this one step of advice I just gave you, I would have incurred zero debt during my first five years of business. Instead, I continued to live in an expensive house, drive a nice truck, and kept the cable bill on. Be smart with your money, and then figure out how to make more money quickly, and build, and improve, and learn, and improve. Notice I said "learn" not fail. I don't view failure as failure unless I failed to learn from it. So, I say learn, build, improve, learn, build, improve... it's a multi-part process. We will take a step back once in a while. But learn and then go two or three steps forward.

Take a deep breath... exciting days are ahead of you!
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