Wednesday, August 20, 2008

#3 Biggest Relationship Mistake

When we're in a relationship, we often try to communicate our thoughts openly. However, sometimes we use a "passive-aggressive" approach to our communication, and suggest through that implied communication or need that our partner must take action based upon the passive-aggressive nature of the comment.

This is where this communication tactic leads to long-term failure and break-down in relationships: if we cannot communicate and lead through what we want and mean then we're implying our partner isn't good enough or doing enough. This will put our partner on the defensive and lead to conflict and potential blow-ups!

What is the third mistake couples make that can cause such damage in relationships?

The #3 Biggest Relationship Mistake Couples Make:

Passive-Aggressive communication, rather than leading with what we truly want.

If we could only just say what we want!

Instead, we often SUGGEST what we want, indirectly.

For example, say that the house is a mess. Rather than say "The house is a mess, so I'm going to clean the kitchen and front-room and I'd like you to clean the bathrooms and bedroom" we say "The house is a mess. We need to clean this pig-pen up!"

Notice, it SEEMED like we were owning our part, by saying "we need to clean this up" but the IMPLIED message is "YOU need to clean this up" to the partner who receives this message.

This is what I mean by passive-aggressive communication.

How about you? Are you guilty of using passive aggression to communicate with your partner?

Try saying what you mean and what you really want.

I'd like to go to a play tonight. Will you go with me and buy our tickets? Is much more direct than "Why don't we ever go to any plays... you never take me anywhere."

Here's my question for you:

Do you make statements that IMPLY your partner ought to do something that you want?

When you make statements that imply your partner ought to act in a certain way or do a certain thing, but are not directly asking for what you want, you are not communicating in a way that will build up your love. Rather, you'll likely build up to a conflict in the future.

Want a different approach?

I'd like to recommend a powerful relationship coaching system that utilizes a 4-step cure to problems like "The Biggest Mistake We Make In Relationships = Using Passive-Aggression" developed over the past few years by my affiliate partners, Paul Sterling and Kristin Denton. The Magic Relationship System Paul and Kristin developed is outstanding and I recommend it. Their system is based on Marshall Rosenberg's "Non-violent Communication" along with other systems Paul and Kristin discovered mitigate relationship conflict and bring two lovers closer together.

Dig through their site, learn more, and sign-up for their system all through this link:

Get the Magic Relationship System

Enjoy! Best of success to you in building true love!

Comment below to discuss your own challenges in creating stories and believing in erroneous stories.

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