Monday, October 20, 2008

When Love Doesn't Fade Away

Have you loved someone, moved on, but noticed later that this person seems to still be present in your thoughts? I have. Love memory sometimes creates an interesting phenomenon that results in a reappearance or memory getting triggered from time spent, familiar activities, certain sayings, shared experiences (music, events, conversations, destinations), and more.

Lately, I've even found that a certain woman who I loved dearly keeps popping into my dreams. This is happening AFTER I thought I had done all the processing of the break-up, cutting cords, and moved on. Do I have an easy explanation for it? Actually, no, I don't. All I can say is that a part of me still feels very strong love towards her. I may always love her.

Can you relate?

If this is your situation, you really are faced with several questions, where you might ask "Does this mean..."

1. ... you have unfinished business?
2. ... you simply had a profound experience; learn and live from it?
3. ... you are still in love and belong together?

If the answer is #1, you may not be able to complete your "unfinished business" at this time. For example, if either of you have moved into a new relationship, whether dating or married, it may preclude any discussion or experience to find out why the love, feelings, thoughts, or other concerns haven't faded away. Even if neither of you are in relationship, there must be a door to communication. One party may have an interest, but if the other party shut the door you really ought not seek to reconnect until THEY reach out to you. That's my take at my current situation. If the dreams really mean something, the Universe/Spirit/God/Nature all have a way of directing us to "bump" back into each other in a random way at the right time. Trust that time and nature to direct you towards what is best for you and don't force it.

If they DO reach out to you, don't be rude and push them away. Hear them out and see what they have to say.

If your situation is #2, well, this is life. Sometimes, people may still affect us but if they were impossible to live with - or even date - then it is for the best to learn from this experience and grow from it. Incorporate the positives into your new life and make sure to avoid previous mistakes either in communication or ways you expressed your love. As long as we grow, we're living life and becoming our best self every day.

If your situation is more #3, then I have one simple question: "Have you BOTH expressed a desire, willingness, and interest in redeveloping a loving relationship together?" If the answer to this question is a resounding "Yes!" then go for it! Give love a chance... more than one couple split up only to find out years later that they really did love each other the most. I wish you both the best in learning new ways to resolve differences so that you stay together in your effort to grow your love together.

When love doesn't fade away, don't fret. Life is full of experiences. Sometimes the experiences will stay with us through our memories our entire life. There's nothing wrong with remembering someone we loved dearly. Enjoy the memory, and cherish the love you once shared together.

I feel strongly that love is an action word. If we feel love, we often need to reach out and act. If you pulled away because you were hurt, perhaps enough time and healing has transpired to reach out to the person you used to love. You just might be surprised what love awaits you in your future.

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