Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Learn to Say "No" and Set Boundaries to Increase Balance

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Learn to say "no" once in a while!

Often the feeling of overwhelmed comes after saying "yes" to too many people, events, and activities requiring our personal time and attention.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, why not say "no, not this time, but please consider me in the future" as a response to enable you to clear some time off your schedule. If you're not getting the time to exercise, meditate, pray, or find other personal time, you're likely going to overwhelm yourself and hit a level of stress.

Boundaries are Useful to Maintain Balance

If you find people walk into your bedroom without knocking, maybe you need to put a lock on the door and a sign that simply states "Knock before entering." People get the message if you draw a boundary AND if you back it up by enforcing it.

Perhaps co-workers invade your office space without knocking or announcing themselves, you can tell them "You know, I'd like to discuss this. Why don't you schedule some time at 1:00 pm with me today?" This will enable co-workers to start respecting your time.

Are you giving yourself more than you can do?

We might want to blame others when we set the schedule ourself in the first place. If this is your situation, I recommend you stop blaming others and give yourself fewer activities. Almost every time I find myself overwhelmed, I gave myself a deadline that I didn't have to meet, or I demanded I do several things more than I could manage. Don't set yourself up to fail. This will cause stress and make you feel swamped. Instead, schedule in breaks, schedule in stress relief, and schedule one third the events or time slot. This will enable you to recover balance in your life.

Try these simple techniques and see if your life doesn't become more balanced, relaxed, and enjoyable.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Scott!! I'm baaaaack:)

This is really a great point. I agree that sometimes we get behind on the things that we need to do or to just stay on track with our own lives, because we float like a leaf in the wind to anyone's breath.

There is a great book that I read about this...

"Stand Up for Your Life" by Cheryl Richardson

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