The Most Powerful Law In The Universe

Do you want to know how to Have, Be, Do, Or Get ANYTHING you want?

Today, I present you with an opportunity that is gaining momentum around the world:

What is our GREATEST CHALLENGE?:

We want TRUE LOVE. We want HAPPINESS. We want a BETTER BODY. We want a SOUL MATE. We want a HAPPY FAMILY. We want GOOD HEALTH. We want to BE RICH. We want to LIVE IN PARADISE. We want FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. We want to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the world we live in. We want to have MORE FUN. We want HOT SEX. We want to BUILD A SUCCESSFUL COMPANY. We want TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL. We want GREAT FRIENDSHIPS. We want to BE FAMOUS, Or have a BIGGER..... We want A GREAT JOB. We want to CREATE THINGS. We want to BE FULL OF JOY. We want to EXPRESS OURSELVES. We want to BE ACCEPTED AND LOVED. We want to LIVE A LEGACY.
We want to be AMAZINGLY SUCCESSFUL. We want TO HAVE THINGS IN ORDER. We want FREEDOM. We want A LUXURIOUS HOUSE. We want A FAST SPORTS CAR or LUXURY AUTOMOBILE. We want A BIG TRUCK.

We want LIFE: AND ALL IT OFFERS.

Do you know what you want?

Do you KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT?

How GREAT do YOU want to be?

The GREATEST PEOPLE IN HISTORY

The greatest people in history have learned how to get from life the things they want.

You've heard about the secret: how to have happiness, health, or wealth. You can have whatever you choose. What kind of business? To be a millionaire... healing in life, health, relationships.. and more.

I'll first explain The Secret that these great leaders knew:

1. We all work with one infinite power.
2. We're all guided by natural laws in our Universe. It is THAT PRECISE.
3. No matter who you are, you can have what you want, if you harness THIS POWER.

It all comes from one LAW: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.

What you hold in your mind is what you attract to you.

LOOK: 3% of our population earns 97% of the financial wealth.

What does that meant to you?

To me, it means, 3% have figured out how to HARNESS the LAW OF ATTRACTION.

If LIKE attracts LIKE, then we will ATTRACT the most SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE TO US if that IS WHAT WE ARE FOCUSED UPON.

THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS

I wrote an article about the Law of Attraction before The Secret movie was released. I wrote this article in 2002. It was called OUR THOUGHTS MATTER and intended to illustrate the power of our THOUGHTS in our mind becoming our REALITY in our LIFE.

Are you thinking about debt, hurt, rejection, failure, or other things that cause you to get more of those things? Well.....???

If you focus on what you don't want, whether it is another bad relationship, being late for an appointment, or getting another phone call from a bill collector, then you're likely to attract those very things.

If you focus on what you DO want, such as a loving relationship, being on time, paying bills easily and effortlessly, then you're likely to attract THOSE more POSITIVE THINGS.

I focus on a successful website attracting millions of people to learn more about how they can love, live, grow, and experience more success, happiness, peace, joy, and love in their lives.

See what I mean? This is how it works... you are here now, largely because of this thought, this intention, that I have written on this page (thought becoming real).

By utilizing and harnessing the UNIVERSAL LAW of CAUSE and EFFECT, you will put yourself in position to maximize your abundance. That is because like attracts like. So, be like what you want, and it will come to you.

Your thoughts will DRAW TO YOU WHATEVER THEY ARE FOCUSED ON.

This is huge, isn't it?

Ask for what you want. Ask for it now.

Be who you want to attract. Be it now.

Ask for it with thought. Ask for it with FEELING.

Be it with thought, be it with FEELING. Feel GOOD. Build your frequency and focus on beautiful things.

If you want more material wealth, then FOCUS on MONEY coming to you. LARGE CHECKS. Print out blank checks. Write in what you want to attract. FEEL GOOD ABOUT CREATING AND BUILDING WEALTH.

Why not make a decision today to experience your goals and desires?

Do YOU want:
THE MAGIC CHECK or Universal Bank CHEQUE?

It's yours, brought to you by AspireNow and the creators of the Secret. Print this page out, fill this in, and put it on your fridge (you can't cash this one, but you WILL be able to cash a future check (cheque) that is soon to come your way. How much do you really want? The Universe is listening to YOUR COMMAND!

Start with GRATITUDE...

Here's an brief video on AFFIRMATIONS to get you STARTED:

I am so grateful for each and every person who reads this post. Whether you agree with this theory or not, I am grateful for you and send you L-O-V-E. Please pass the word and share positive things with those you love. Our life is so precious.

The following video is another great collection of aspirations and affirmations:

If you are someone who would like to learn more, you might gain further insight through these lessons from the teachers of "The Secret" that I can share with you here:

I have many more resources at AspireNow (see products) where you can find ways to Discover Your Life Purpose and implement ideas like this in your own life to create the success you've always dreamed about. Another way you can manifest more in your life is through collages, audio, and even more powerful digital storybooks.

Digital Storybooks are one of the coolest ways to create the Law of Attraction in your own life.

Has this post inspired you? I invite you to share it with others. If you have stories of abundance and ways you've manifested your dreams using the principles in this post, please share in our comments (below).

Learn more: Do you have a question relating to creating a Lifestyle of Abundance and how to implement the Universal Law of Attraction in your own life? Please email us at info (at) AspireNow (dot) com or contact us at 805-459-6939. Post by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow.

Note: this article contains information Copyright © 1999-2007 by AspireNow and Copyright © 2006 by TS Production and producers of the Secret. Used by permission without intention of infringement.

Do you want to receive information like this automatically? Sign up for the RSS FEED for the A-BLOG: Seriously Fun Self-Help. You'll get a variety of ideas to help you manifest your dreams. "Abundant Living Awaits You..."

Halloween: Ace Ventura and Three Trick-or-Treaters

You've read that the A-Blog is all about seriously F-U-N self-help.

And we all know that "fun" means we're laughing, right?

I just watched one of the funniest Halloween videos ever, created by my pals Beni and Rafi over at NowLive, (aka Ravenstake - http://www.ravenstake.com/).

I laughed so hard I cried. I know, it's politically incorrect, but I don't care. Anything that made me laugh this much just HAD to be posted and shared with my friends here at AspireNow. Enjoy!




Happy Halloween!
Scott & the AspireNow Team

P.S. - don't miss the AspireNow show, broadcasting Wednesdays at 6PM PST at NowLive!

Don't throw spaghetti at your screen if you hate it, just click away.

If you LOVE getting posts like this, click here to subscribe.
Burning feeds is good for your soul.

Copyright © 1999-2007 AspireNow and YouTube video Copyright © 2007 by Ravenstake.com, with no infringement intended. All Rights Reserved. You may republish this article only if you publish in WHOLE with the COPYRIGHT and ALL ACTIVE LINKS intact.

Second Life - What Ever Happened to Real Life?

Have you been caught up with the phenomenon of Second Life?

If this is the first time you've heard of it, Second Life is a virtual game experience recreating a world and entire persona, but from within a "virtual" or Internet environment. It's like taking Facebook or MySpace and having your friends and places you visit talk back to you, virtually. And, apparently, it is highly addicting.

There is something nagging at my mind behind this whole Second Life phenomenon. Before I dig into that, let's look at some questions about the virtual world people are living in:

What's behind the Second Life or the Virtual Life phenomenon?

Second Life is an online society within a 3D world where you can explore, build, socialize, and participate in their own economy. In fact, they even have a Second Life form of monetary exchange, called Linden. Residents retain the rights to their digital creations (a key to Second Life), and you can basically do what you want within the domain of this virtual 3D world.

How big is Second Life, really?

With a Google Page Rank of 7 and traffic numbers ranking over those of Oprah.com, Newsweek.com (until a recent surge), and almost as high of numbers as iVillage.com, SecondLife.com is doing an excellent job of building an experience people are drawn to. The SecondLife.com site is still not as big as Facebook, Yahoo, or MySpace.com, but it is bigger than other business networks like Ryze.com and LinkedIn.com (evaluation through Alexa.com and SecondLife.com).

The statistics are pretty interesting: First of all, there are a lot of repeat visits to their site. 35% of Second Life (SL) visitors are regulars, and 12% are ADDICTS. The site is mixed 50/50 male/female. The largest demographic is 18 - 24, but there is a surge in 35 - 44 year-olds at Second Life, too. Isn't that when people are supposed to be in their PRIME? Another demographic I noted is that Asians are highly drawn to Second Life. I wonder what in the Asian culture would cause them to find a virtual reality so highly attractive? Perhaps their belief in reincarnation is a play. I also noticed other ethnicities ranking high, so perhaps the basic belief in reincarnation could be a factor, as the lowest percentage visiting Second Life, as a ratio, is Hispanics (Catholic - no belief in reincarnation). Last, most of the audience drawn to Second Life has a college education. Visitors to Second Life seem to be a fairly techie, scientific crowd, from what I have experienced.

How do people benefit through Second Life experiences?

First of all, there is a lot to do there. The search menu shows events, discussions, entertainment, shopping, different types of groups (charity, arts, etc.), and more. The world is filled with hundreds of games, from multi-player RPG's to puzzles and grid-wide contests. There are also dance clubs, movie theatres, shopping malls, space stations, and even vampire castles. In my session today, I discovered roller skates, a broomstick (yes, you can fly in Second Life), and even a Hover Board. Kewl, sorta, in a techie, geeky kind of way. Although the game play was slow, for me, SL does make the idea of IM's, conference calls, or other communication with a long-distance friend intriguing.

What caught my attention is how you can interact with people through Second Life. Through a virtual world, you can be many places at once, either through teleporting OR through creating MULTIPLE avatars (your SL persona) which enable you to interact with people through their experience, and this creates more opportunities to exchange information dynamically, whether it be a film review, art review, or experiencing a "first look" together with other virtual friends. It is easy to make friends, just like in real life. You find some people chatting, ask what's up, and take it from there.

Some people are there to just check it out. Others are there to explore this strange online world. Others are there to SELL you things. Capitalism is alive and well in Second Life.

And, as in real life, in Second Life, people meet and fall in love. Here's one example from one of the Second Life employees, who manages some of their blog tips of the week. http://www.flickr.com/photos/torley/1560541904/ Giant bunnies and romantic love. I've heard of falling in-love online, but I saw this and thought: "Wow. Alice in Wonderland meets the Chat Rooms of 1998". Things have changed a lot in the past ten online years, haven't they?

How are businesses benefiting through Second Life?

Here's something interesting: businesses have discovered that with the frequent visits to Second Life, there is a natural opportunity to MARKET to people through their second life experiences. If someone is spending 3 - 5 hours a day experiencing and living in this virtual world, they still have 20 other hours where they're living REAL LIFE experiences, right? And that presents a marketing opportunity. So much that I've read about companies targeting entire advertising campaigns into Second Life experience. The game experience, with Second Life, becomes more than a game. some companies are merely augmenting their online strategies, such as Reuters, who created a SL post just to pass more news around.

I saw a Pontiac ad on a billboard on one page. Many other corporate ads dot the Second Life adscape (landscape). But, frankly, much of what I experienced at SL was USER generated, by people practicing their graphic design skills, or other techie gadgetry, for fun, and yes, for money.

In May 2006, Sire Records and musician Regina Spektor launched an interactive, virtual listening party for her new album, Begin to Hope, inside Second Life. This marked the first time a REAL LIFE record company launched an album from within this virtual world. A record launch in Second Life is an innovative move by a record company who saw an opportunity to market to a young, hip audience and establish a land mark with their album.

Second Life lists over 35 different business occupations, ranging from event planner to tattoo artist to vacation resort owner, all within the game, yet making REAL life money through the Second Life experience.

The reason for this is The Marketplace, a unique feature of Second Life which currently supports millions of US dollars in monthly transactions. This commerce is handled with the in-world unit-of-trade, the Linden dollar, which can be converted to US dollars at several thriving online Linden Dollar exchanges. When I pulled up the Linden Exchange, the growth from two years ago to today is starting to look staggering (see Linden Exchange). That makes Second Life unique to virtual experiences, because now you have a unit of trade that can be exchanged with Real Life money. Interesting isn't a strong enough word for what happens from this: people are now even resorting to STEALING online content to get REAL life money (not to mention, the Second Life lawsuit posted today was over a SEX TOY!) Does it always have to come to that?

The money, for Second Life, is off-the-hook: $1,625US to buy your own "island" with monthly maintenance fees of $295US. (Note: that is US dollars = REAL DOLLARS). So, the Linden Labs folks get a pop up-front and a healthy annuity revenue stream from every island built in the game. These fees are separate from regular premium user fees of $9.95/mo. (US).

Sure, it's free to join and check it out, but if you want cool clothes, cool gadgets, and fun things to do (fly holding hands, etc.), these types of things cost Linden. Kaching. There are currently over 11,000 islands and over 700 more being added to SL each month (source: SecondLife.com). So, if you do the math, with $17+ Million in islands and millions more in monthly usage fees, plus several more million from the 300,000+ regular users, not to mention the fees from 7+ million monthly transactions, this is a multimillion dollar organization with huge potential upside, especially considering the growth displayed in the Linden exchange.

I keep thinking of the brainwashing program from the movie The Island, where the administrative voice repeated to the clones: "You WANT to go to the island." Yeah, I'm sure they want us to go to the island, at Second Life, too.

How deep is the impact of virtual reality with Second Life?

The exciting promises offered by "Second Life game" gaming experience is broad and expanding. For example, there are opportunities to test new ideas for products or services through the virtual world, that may have lessor impact than the real life might. Or, a trial ad-campaign could be run through a mock of Second Life less expensively than through Real Life production. Buildings can be rendered 3-D to give a better understanding of how communities might get built in the future. And, one aspect that I'm investigating, is the promise of education. The possibility of conducting a virtual 3-D conference might cost less than real life conferences and perhaps offer any time, any place, through the Second Life experience. How far can this go? Time will tell. However, it appears to be just the tip of the iceberg.

Will the phenomenon of virtual reality end with Second Life?

I don't think so. Here's why: there are enough negative circumstances, events, and facts occurring from real life to cause people, generally speaking, to want to ESCAPE REAL LIFE. As a result, they're seeking out other experiences, through video games, virtual reality, or through spending an inordinate amount of time on social networking sites, chat sites, and more. I'm seeing a growing trend, not a shrinking trend.

It's no wonder, either. What leads the morning and evening news? WAR. TERROR. DEATH. DISEASE. TRAGEDY. The familiar saying in news broadcasting is "If it BLEEDS, it LEADS." Does that concern you? People are conditioned to react strongly to fear. Hey, let's face it, our present administration in the USA has built an entire platform on war and terror. If you looked at the promises of the President PRIOR to taking office and see the spending after taking office, you'd see that a focus on reducing the military except for strategic initiatives was not delivered upon at all. What occurred, instead, was massive spending on military like this country hasn't seen since WWII. But who does all this spending on war benefit? A few rich tycoons, mostly. Who loses? Mostly the hard-working tax-payers, who are financing the war. How did they vote for it? By FEAR of terror and wanting something like 9-11 never to happen again. Yet, it shouldn't have happened in the first place, according to all the laws of nature, physics, and our own defense deparment manuals. Okay, I digress.

If you look at the evening news, you'll see that all of these negative images IMPACT us in such a strong way. Statistics on happiness indicate that people who DON'T watch the evening news are 5-7% happier. Count me among that statistic.

The fact is, people want to ESCAPE from all of the negativity of REAL life. Whether it be a difficult childhood, physical challenges, problems with work, or financial strain, so many people are stressed by the challenges life presents and just want to escape this to something that meets the dream, in whatever way they can find it.

The question nagging at me, when I look at Second Life, is this: "What ever happened to living a GREAT and EXCITING REAL LIFE?"

If you've lost yourself in a virtual world, can I encourage you a little bit?

I just had an exchange on Facebook with someone who confided that many of their friends made at Facebook were from dating sites. That's an admission of the addiction of the virtual world. Another friend mentioned he had spend time in Second Life, and then I saw an episode of the rather funny television show from The Office (airing on Thursday nights on NBC) showing a clip from one of the show's stars creating a virtual person in Second Life, only the person was almost exactly the same as the person in Real Life. Ironic, huh?

The reason why a virtual life is so attractive to so many people is largely because their REAL life sucks. Well, okay, maybe it doesn't suck. But there's enough negative hits from (a) popularity or unpopularity, (b) doing a job they DO NOT like or want, (c) being in a frustrating relationship, (d) not living the lifestyle they dream about, or (e) other frustration that causes people to find the escape of a virtual world much more satisfying. If you're ugly, it doesn't matter in a virtual world. Anyone might talk to you at SL. Of course, they can be rude, and block you, at SL, too.

Are you doing a job you hate in real life? In the virtual world, you could be a rock star, a writer for The Rolling Stone, or an actress. Are you in a relationship that leaves you wanting more love, more sex, more FUN, more ANYTHING other than what you've got? In the virtual world, people want you, people love you, people sex you up, and get you even more excited about future possibilities. See what I mean? To someone whose REAL LIFE is boring, frustrating, disappointing, or negative in experience, a VIRTUAL reality presents a world with entirely new possibilities.

My question is this: "Is the world of virtual reality TRULY satisfying you?"

If the virtual life satisfies you, then great, you've got a great outlet of fun and recreation that gives you a way to enjoy some spare time from your work life.

But, if your answer to that question is "no, it isn't satisfying me, because I still have to live my REAL life the rest of the time," then I challenge you to look deeply within yourself.

I challenge you to look at why you are feeling a need to escape.

I challenge you to say "Who am I and what do I really want to do with my life?"

And then, upon listening to your answers, start living your REAL life in congruent ways that match your real life with your DREAM LIFE.

In the end, isn't that what we really want from a virtual life? A second chance at living our dreams? Why not make our dreams come true in REAL LIFE?

It CAN be done. As the wonderful "imagineer," Walt Disney, once said, "If you can dream it, you can do it." I love that quote. Because it offers us a better way to live our REAL LIFE.

First, create a dream life, then take steps in your real life to make the two match. Dream, learn, build, develop, experience, evaluate, dream, learn, build, develop, experience, evaluate, and so on. This can become a method to break free from the bummer of a real life that we're escaping turn turn our REAL LIFE into a life more closely matching our DREAM LIFE.

I've been building this type of life for quite a while now. The more my real life matches my dream life, the more I realize I really LOVE my REAL life, and the more a virtual life loses the luster of appeal for me. I'm not perfect. But, as I implement this process, I continue to grow, develop, and build the life I want. What is the process:

DREAM. LEARN. BUILD. DEVELOP. EXPERIENCE. EVALUATE. (REPEAT)

Can you say that you're developing the life you want to live for your own life?

If not, try this:

DREAM. LEARN. BUILD. DEVELOP. EXPERIENCE. EVALUATE. REPEAT.

See how your own life begins to manifest more and more of what you seek to attract from your dream life into your real life. You might, like me, just find that your real life no longer requires a virtual life in order to be happy and living on purpose. Or, if you're living your Second Life, you might even apply this guideline to building an even better "in life" experience.

If you wish to learn more about the Law of Attraction, you might enjoy these additional articles on this subject:

Push Pins and the Law of Attraction

Wealth Beyond Reason

The Power of Conscious Intention

In addition, I've written an entire workbook on the subject of The Keys To Discovering Your Life Purpose. I encourage anyone struggling with the things discussed in this article to give it a serious look.

This article is written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow. Copyright 2007.

Second Life® and Linden Lab® are trademarks or registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc. All rights reserved. No infringement is intended.

You may republish this article only AS A COMPLETE WHOLE with ENTIRE LINKS and copyright messages attached. All rights reserved.

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Find The Man of Your Dreams

Do you ache to know if you can find true love? How can you find the man of your dreams? Or, for guys, how to meet the woman of your dreams? Where can I find my soul mate? How can I find true love? Is my knight in shining armor for real? How can I meet the woman of my dreams?

Are these questions you've asked recently?

Women frequently talk about finding the man, finding true love, finding the man in their dreams -- especially when they are in an unsatisfying relationship. Guys talk about it, too, but in different ways. Woman will ask each other "who are you dating?" Men will ask each other "who are you banging?" I know, it's crass, but it's pretty true. You wonder why it's hard to find when men and women communicate in such different ways!

A recent study showed that most people would be willing to give up over 6 months salary to find their "true love". In some cases, this could be quite a bit of money. Think about it: if you earn $60,000 a year (which is just a little above average in many parts of America) you'd give up $30,000 to find the man in your dreams. Guys: will you give $30,000 to find the woman in your dreams? No wonder sites like Match.com, Matchmaker.com, eHarmony.com, and others have thrived during the Internet Age.

This article is about how to find true love anywhere and everywhere: taking steps in the right direction.

How many people know where to meet someone? Isn't that half the challenge of it? In many bookstores you can find dozens of books about finding love or dating for success. John Gray has made boatloads of money with his "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" books.

Why?

Because we all want to find a partner with whom we can experience deep, lasting love.

Fact is, just about everyone wants to know where to go to find our true love and have better relationships. The elephant in the room seems to be the question: How do we meet this mystical person?

Recently, I came across some interesting statistics that shed light on this situation. According to University of Chicago researcher Dr. Edward Lauman, here is how we meet our significant other:

23% meet at school
15% meet at work
10% meet at a private party
8% meet at a bar
8% meet at a church or synagogue
4% meet at the gym
<1% meet through personal ads

These stats may have changed slightly with the recent popularity of Internet dating. I've noticed that the chat rooms of the late 1990's are now being replaced by social broadcasting with chat rooms at places like NowLive.com. I know of several people who've met on-line. Over 65% of people met through school, work, parties, at a bar, church, gym, or through ads.

However, the interesting stat, to me, is that almost 30% of the remaining people met OTHER ways! In other words, they met doing something they LOVE. Whether that's swing dancing, listening to music at a concert, volunteering for a charity or meeting at the grocery store - you name it: people meet many ways.

The other interesting statistic is how the largest proportion of people (23%) still meet AT SCHOOL.

Upon seeing this I decided that if you were to replace the environment you have at school, you will have the highest likelihood of meeting someone you like. So, perhaps taking a class at a community college or enrolling to learn a foreign language might be a good idea. When taking lessons or studying a new subject where other people around your age and socio-economic background are likely to hang out, the odds of connecting will be higher.

A poor way to meet is through a newspaper ad, or through a singles cruise. However, I personally met someone from a newspaper ad once and we dated for a while, so I can't say rule it out altogether. I did notice that on a family cruise to Alaska, my nephew met someone last summer and they ended up hanging out quite a bit. But I'm not sure that's something that would work for everyone, and I certainly wouldn't go on a cruise for that express purpose.

So how do we meet someone, once we're in the right setting?

I look at it much like catching a wild animal (call it a cat, if that helps). There are at least two ways you could go about catching a wild cat. One method is to chase after the cat and try to catch it by pouncing on it -- which, as you know, is likely to scare the cat away and make it a little more jittery the next time it sees you. This method is unlikely to create success and more likely to leave you feeling frustrated and alone. This is not what I recommend to catch the man of your dreams. No, be more clever.

The other method is to go where the wild cats are, offer the cat some fish or catnip and wait quietly, enjoying where you are without worrying about whether or not you catch the cat. It may seem like it is taking longer - but this is deceiving, as you are relaxing and enjoying where you are. After a while, when you are relaxed, quiet, and comfortable, the cat may start to check you out. As the cat learns you are safe and have treats for them, they'll be eating out of your hand. Once the word travels, you may even have your choice of several "cats".

This approach works for MEN and for WOMEN. However, with men, you must be interesting, a little cocky, and funny to approach the woman of YOUR dreams.

Women, on the other hand, must maintain a sense of mystery. There's a reason the book "The Rules" for women was successful in getting men to marry more often: the women HAD A LIFE! If you're not available after Wednesday and you only return my calls one to three, the odds are I'll feel like I have to make you a PRIORITY.

Isn't that what you want, women?

Another method is to confidently approach the cat you want and offer it the milk you offer. A friend of mine claims that if you do not seize the world you're just a lamb and waiting for your slaughter. It works for him, as in general a man is still expected to be the person who approaches a woman (with confidence).

The most masterful trait, though, to finding love anywhere, is to simply send love out, without expectation, wherever we go. Sending out unconditional love, as a regular practice, is sure to come back to us tenfold. The trick to making money is often spending some. When you buy a new suit you can land that job sometimes just by looking the part. Well, with love it is the same way. When we are able to be confident and loving, the love we seek may come to us.

Look your best, be your best, and love the most. The world will turn in a new way for you when you do. And, you just might be surprised: the man of your dreams will be standing in YOUR doorway taking YOU out on the date you always dreamed of!

Best way to meet a man? Select a club (with higher percentages of men than women who go) that sounds fun to you. I've always been amazed at how few women will go into a microbrewery, yet men love to congregate there. They usually aren't getting too drunk there, and it isn't really the same as meeting "in a bar". Go just to have fun, without expectation of who you'll meet, and you just might be a surprised.

Men, go to dance workshops. Take a dance class, sign up for YOGA. Do it for YOU, not with intentions on meeting anyone.

I used to find that society benefit events were great ways to meet people. You're making a difference AND having fun. What could be more natural? Plus, you're sharing a similar cause - a sign of spiritual compatibility.

Do you have a question relating to finding the love you seek? Check out the AspireNow Advisor - full page solutions to your questions - it will save you time and money to get guidance on better ways to improve your dating.

What are ways to find the man of your dreams (or woman of your dreams), by sending more love out?

1. Take a friend to lunch or coffee. During the conversation, tell them three things you really like about them (with sincerity).

2. Buy a little gift for a friend, something that you think might uniquely appeal to them, based upon who you know them as. (No gag gifts - they might backfire!) It doesn't have to cost a lot to mean a lot. Gifting is an important component in dating.

3. Call a friend up on the telephone and let them know you are thinking about them. Is there anything they need that you can help them with? What fun things can you do to connect with each other?

4. Drop by a friends house with a gift, or show up with some food, and offer to share it with them. Let me know one or two things you appreciate about their friendship. Expect nothing more. Leave when it seems earlier than you might normally leave and thank them for having fun with you. This is being a REAL friend.

5. Host a potluck party. You can make it interesting and make it a common interest party. For example, my brother goes to a monthly "writer's" party. The group is mostly English Teachers, who wanted to maintain their own craft. Everyone brings their own beverages and food, and the host prepares a main dish. Each person writes something before dinner. They take about 30 - 45 minutes to write their poem or story. After dinner, they sit around and share what they wrote. I cannot express how much more you get to know people from doing a shared interest party versus just showing up to a regular type of party. I also host "theme" parties every year. Last year was the Motorcycle Diaries party. Not only did we have great fun, we also ate yummy food (Peruvian dishes, Chilean ceviche, etc.)

6. Offer to do small favors for people. This could be as simple as holding some one's books or handing them the hard to reach item in a grocery store. Random acts of kindness build opportunities for new friendship. Don't expect return favors, just do it.

7. Compliment people who stand out to you. Be sincere, concise, and smile, when you compliment. The more you practice complimenting others the more you will see how people light up at your kindness. I just talk with people everywhere I go. I ask them about the food, what they're holding, or comment on an article and ask their opinion. You'd be surprised where the conversations lead us.

8. Smile when you have no reason to smile. People like happy people.

9. Find an event you want to attend, and invite someone you are interested in to go with you. This could be a play, a movie, a concert, or even a book reading. You choose.

10. Find an event you are interested in, and invite nobody, but go with the expectation to meet at least three new people in a sincere way. Make the meeting about them: ask them questions, show genuine interest in who they are, what they do, how they have fun.

Remember, most people love to share about their vocation, travel, what makes them passionate, how they have fun, their hobbies, and children. Women love talking about their dreams, children, and friendships. Men love talking about their hobbies, career, and sports.

These are all pretty safe topics for most folks, and will build good will and better rapport than talking about politics, religion, sex, or other topics that are considered highly sensitive.

One word I can suggest: if you normally go out LOOKING for a man, STOP. Go out looking to MEET FRIENDS first. If you normally go out LOOKING for a woman, STOP. Go out looking to MEET FRIENDS first. If you normally HAVE SEX within the first couple of dates, STOP, wait. If you normally wait, maybe going earlier. Whatever you've done, if it hasn't worked, TRY THE OPPOSITE. You just never know. Sometimes by changing our behavior, we can break routines that are blocking us. Another idea is to go out with the guy who is "just a friend" and see how it works. And, treat the babe you'd have jumped before as "just a friend" and go for the one you'd have put in "friend" category before and treat as your new hottie. Again, you're mixing it up, and perhaps opening yourself to something more real.

Remember, as I said before, look your best, be your best, and love the most. Don't be surprised if the man of your dreams will be standing in YOUR doorway taking YOU out on the date you always dreamed of! And guys: don't be surprised when you find yourself WANTING her to say I LOVE YOU. Because when you have TRUE LOVE, commitment is natural.

Please note: This article is intended for entertainment purpose only. The author of this article may not be certified as a licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your situation dictates.

Learn more about AspireNow Life Coaching to improve your relationships.

Article by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow.com. Read more articles like this at AspireNow's Smooth Sailing.

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Do you have ideas for how you can meet the man of your dreams? How have you met your girlfriend or wife? How did you meet your boyfriend or husband? Share your ideas! We'd love to hear them.

What To Name Your Baby

Are you having a baby?

If so, you're probably trying to pick a good name for your new little one. I think that bearing a child is one of the most beautiful things a mother and father can do together. Clearly, this can be a time when you can set love, light, laughter, music, and joy as a priority, and give that proactive feeling to your little luv as a head-start before your little one ever enters the world and wears Huggies. There's a brave, exciting, and wild adventure in store for your little bambino. And, you probably know as much as everyone else: what you name your baby matters. So, what will you name your child?

The important thing is to find a name that seems to resonate with your baby.

Maybe this sounds crazy, but usually a Mother just knows what feels right for the name of her child. Call it intuition. Occasionally, men have this gift, too. It is wise to discuss this together before getting into the baby delivery room, though, so to help couples facing this decision I wrote this article. Plus, it's a fun subject.


A babies name can influence what your little one will attract in life, so pick a name that is blessed by good fortune, if you can do so. It is important to know the entire combination of names, in order to do that, according to the Kabalarians: (http://www.kabalarians.com/index.cfm).

So many people pick names based upon their parents names, or names Hollywood stars or Soap opera stars are picking for their children.

I've noticed people who were fans of the Soap Opera, Santa Barbara later had children and named them Mason, Ethan, Julia, and Eden. Are we going to name children simply the name that is most popular? Or will we follow the current pop-culture rage? Or do we believe our child needs a unique name?

During the "hippie" generation, many parents named their kids nature-type names like, Star, Flower, Joy, Faith, Forrest, River, Brook, and so forth. You'll see names of stars indicate this from Frank Zappa's Moon Unit to Faith Hill. I have met people named Autumn and Summer, or River and figured, well, their parents were from the 60's Generation.
New baby names include names of places, like Shiloh, or celebrity-type of status, such as Chanel or Angelina or Ben. Children from the early 1990's starting getting called Trinity, after the female character from the movie The Matrix. I haven't seen any NEO's, though.

Some people name their children after seasons or months, such as Spring, Summer, August, June, and so on. There are many names which have ethnic roots, such as with my own daughter, who is named Galen. Galen is, of course a Gaelic ascendancy. Other examples of ethnic roots might be Maria, a common Hispanic name, Olga, most likely Russian, Che, Argentinean, Helga, German, Olaf, Norwegian, Sven, Swedish, and so forth.

I've always found people's names fascinating. Names matter. If you follow names like I do, you know that there is a numerology value in a name, as well as the horoscope birth from the date, time, and place where your child will be born. One, you likely cannot control. The other, you can. So, with the name, take extra care.

In America, the top baby names, according to the U.S. Social Security Administration's most recent report, are:

Boy's Names:

1. Jacob
2. Michael
3. Joshua
4. Ethan
5. Matthew
6. Daniel
7. Christopher
8. Andrew
9. Anthony
10. William
    

Top Girl's Names:

1. Emily
2. Emma
3. Madison
4. Isabella
5. Ava
6. Abigail
7. Olivia
8. Hannah
9. Sophia
10. Samantha

For the boy's names on this list, you can see the Biblical theme is still quite popular (Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, Daniel, Christopher, Andrew, Anthony are all the names of famous Biblical figures and/or saints). With girl's names, it seems that the popularity is based more around a theme of BEAUTY than religion. Emily is a name meaning rival. So, I suppose it's a version of EVE to ADAM. Abigail and Hannah are both Biblical names. According to BehindTheName.com, Emma was a matchmaker (although Emma also ties-back to a German saint), Madison is a contemporary name, but almost all the other names on this list are names with ties to BEAUTY. Ava means "voice" or "sound" while Sophia is Greek for "wisdom". Samantha is unknown although one site said it is Aramaic for "listener", so that is unique to this list.

I've always felt that Isabella and Olivia are two of the most beautiful names ever, and those names do, indeed originate from names of former Queens. Would it surprise you if a girl with that name liked the finer things in life? Some of the Hindu names that are most popular include Shiva, Ravi, Zane, and Ganesh -- all names derived from Hindu God's. So, clearly, American's are not alone in their penchant for names based upon a religion or religious principle.

Something interesting I noted was that many popular French names came from artists, poets, and political leaders. I wonder why other ethnicities don't honor more poets and artists than saints. Obviously, Homer and Chaucer didn't exactly rate high on the list of names for men. As a side note, my father, named Homer, never liked his name, until my brother (the English teacher) pointed out that Homer was a great poet. So, kudos to Grandma!

Baby Name Resources:

Do you want more resources to help you name your baby? Some of the best resources I have found for naming a child can be found through the following sites: http://www.thinkbabynames.com/ - an excellent resource of Christian names and other name resources, plus with statistics of popularity of the names you love most.

What blew me away was the database of names ranging from all of these Ethnic backgrounds, ranging from African, American, Arabic, Aramaic, Armenian, Assyrian, Australian, Babylonian, Basque, Celtic, Cherokee, Chinese, Contemporary, Czechoslovakian, Danish, Egyptian, English, Farsi, Finnish, Flemish, French, Gaelic, German, Ghanaian, Greek, Hawaiian, Hebrew, Hindi/Hindu, Hopi, Hungarian, Irish, Israeli, Italian, Japanese, Latin, Mexican, Native American Indian, Nigerian, Norse, Norwegian, Old English, Old French, Old German, Old Norse, Old Welsh, Persian, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Sanskrit, Scandinavian, Scottish, Slavic, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Teutonic, Turkish, Vietnamese, Welsh, Yiddish! Whew!

There are so many types of names based upon ethnicity, it would take a Bible of Names to print them all. I found the process of searching through names rather impressive.

I often look up people's names for a general sense of who they are at Kabalarians:
http://www.kabalarians.com/index.cfm which has many useful free features. I love their first name look-up, and looked up Scott and Scotty to get some insights into what they thought about me:

"The name of Scott creates a quick, analytical, and clever mind; you are creative, versatile, original, and independent. You have large ambitions, and it is difficult for you to be tolerant and understanding of those who desire less in life or who are more slow and methodical by nature. [sigh] Patience is not your forte. You do, however, have leadership ability and would never be happy in a subservient position. You are ambitious and aggressive by nature. You would be happiest in positions where you are free to express individually and creatively and where opportunities are not restricted; you desire freedom, and do not tolerate being possessed by others. You appreciate change and travel, and the opportunity to meet and mix with others, and to influence them with your creative ideas."

Yep. that's me: Ambitious, sporty, clever, independent, leader, free, love travel, creative ideas, influencing others, mixing. They nailed it.

Of course, I also go by "Scotty" - especially with friends and when playing my sax. So, here is the difference one letter can make to a name: "In your work, you would seek a position offering self-expression through contact with people, such as sales or teaching, or a position giving scope to your creative, artistic talents. You are good-natured and likeable, and people tend to confide in you and seek your advice in personal problems. Others sense your sincere interest and desire to help, and you can always be counted on to see the bright side of any problem." Hmm. Scotty, the Sax Player. Creative and fun, yep, that's me, too.

Interesting, huh? Well, okay, I'm biased. But, look up your own name, and see how you enjoy it and how accurate they might be for your own name. I have one particular ex-girlfriend who seems to always have had her relationships end in disaster. You know, if she read the lookup on her name, she just might change it, as it pretty much predicts that type of result: struggle, strife, difficulties manifesting, creative with handicrafts, and clever-minded. That was her.

I read my own name description and another friend's name description together and she laughed at how ironic it is in they were so accurate for her. We then went through all of her names for her kids, and it was amazing how accurate the Kabalarians had the first names of her children, too.

One of their main points is that you must know the whole name, though, so you probably should order a full name analysis to see how "balanced" you are. Anyway, it may be a good idea to run your entire baby name through their system to see how your baby's lot in life might turn out. After all, if half of life is predetermined and the other half free will, we might as well make the predetermined part as healthy as possible, right?

http://www.babynamesgarden.com/unusual-baby-names.aspx has a list of unusual names, of which I thought some were funny: Aslin - is this like Aslan but they never READ the book Chronicles of Narnia (just saw the movie)? Or, Kerren, is this someone who just wanted to name Karen but had to be different? Jewellah struck me as cool, but probably just because I like Jewel, the singer.

BabyNamesWorld.com had a wise piece of advice: "If you decide to choose a popular name, don’t pick one of the top ten names of recent years. Choose one that’s slightly less popular. Find a happy medium and pick a name that’s not too unusual, but not too popular. There are various web sites that list the names chosen most often for each year. Avoid the top ten of the last five years and see if there are any names you like within the top 100 or 1000." They have many other useful suggestions for how to name your baby at this site.

Whatever name you pick, remember that your baby is special. Give each baby the tender love and care they need and deserve and watch a special miracle grow inside of you, too. Also, if you are a wise parent, you will observe the behavior of your child and change their name if they seem to act other than their name.

For example, I was called David up until the age of two. If you look up more by David, you will see that I am, indeed, not much of a David, and much more of a Scott or Scotty. My Mother was wise in saying, "you know, he's not a David, he's a Scotty!" even before I quit wearing pampers. Of course Scott and Scotty could either mean a Scotsman or "painted warrior" depending upon where you look. I made the change from Scotty to Scott myself at the age of 7 or 8 just a few years' later. It can be useful to change our name if we don't like it, although a hassle. So, try to get your babies' name right, then do your best to reinforce who the huggies-wearing toddler is, based upon that name, as they grow up. I remember one of my Mom's favorite songs when I was growing up as a kid was Watching Scotty Grow by Mac Davis. Mac was another guy who came from rags to riches, but in the song he sings of these joyful moments just hangin' out with his kid, who is full of fun and life. My Mom would hear this song, and she said, "you're my last one, it makes me happy, and sad, to see you grow up." I always liked the last line to that song, "'cause Me and God are watching Scotty grow.... Me and God watching our Scotty grow."

You might differ on a name, but keep at it until you find one you both like. I think finding an agreement before you put the baby name on the birth certificate just might be a good idea. Best of luck, and may the name you choose be what you most feel for your child.... and, like Scotty, may it be blessed!

Love Is The Answer

A final word about babies and baby names... my sister once told me that "A child can never have too much love." I agree. I opened the website for http://www.luvs.com, and they had a remade version of the Beatles' classic, All You Need Is Love. Forty years later, that title is still right on the mark. Love is the answer, love is all you need to choose a baby name. Through love, you will find the name that most fits your little baby.

Please note: This article is intended for entertainment purpose only. The author of this article may not be certified as a licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your situation dictates.

You may find more articles like this at: http://www.AspireNow.com, or SUBSCRIBE to the AspireNow Seriously Fun Self-Help RSS FEED to continue to get the freshest content from AspireNow.

Are you wondering what your LIFE PURPOSE is? You don't have to be on Oprah to figure it out: you can FIND IT through the Life Purpose Powerpack (Methods To Discover Your Purpose PDF e-book, The Keys To Discovering Your Purpose Audio CD by the author, and bonus Ways to Manifest Your Purpose e-book).

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This article is Copyright © 1999-2007 AspireNow. All Rights Reserved. If you wish to republish this article, you may do so ONLY if you publish the article in WHOLE and include this copyright message and the track back links to AspireNow.

Share your ideas!

Do you have any other names you think ought to have been mentioned in my list? Any new names that are gaining in popularity? I'd love to hear your comments on the subject!

Simplify Expectations To Manifest Abundance

Some of the biggest challenges we create for ourselves are the expectations we put on life and our relationships.

In utilizing the LAW of ATTRACTION, it is important that we realize what type of expectations can draw success and what type of expectations draw frustration.
How are you handling your expectations? Are you expecting gifts on your birthday? Do you expect a promotion or a raise at work? What does it mean if it doesn't happen?

Expectation creates an atmosphere leading to "no-win" situations. For example, say if you are always on time but your friend is frequently late. They try, but they are just late everywhere they go. By your nagging or getting upset with them do you think they will suddenly start becoming a punctual person?

What is it we expect? Are our expectations realistic? At times we can enjoy our life more by lowering the bar of expectations. Often, I am my own best critic when it comes to demands on what I can or am supposed to do. Perhaps this drives me to do more and be more. Other times it creates stress that detracts from achieving my goals.

In Maurice Attie's article on Reconciliation, Maurice states that before a holistic lawyer will accept a case they require you to sign a statement releasing all expectations of the outcome of your case. This requires trust in your decision -- and comfort level with your attorney. Holistic lawyers require this statement because when we release our problem to heal within then we are comfortable with the way God, nature, and spirit will work in the situation.

As the expression from the Lord's Prayer in The Bible goes, "not my will, but thy will be done" applies here quite nicely, no matter what faith we come from.

The biggest challenge with expectation is that an expectation is OUR WILL rather than an implicit TRUST in God, Spirit, or the Law of ATTRACTION to provide WHAT IS BEST FOR US. Perhaps we don't get that raise at work because we've got OTHER fish to fry - another job, another career, or even our own venture might be more important, and if we got the raise we'd stay where we are. So, the frustration caused by not getting the promotion or the raise creates a desire within us to do something different: and that something is what is actually for our GREATEST GOOD.

And that ought to be what we are seeking: our HIGHEST, GREATEST GOOD. Not our selfish, most immediately gratifying good.

By releasing expectation (surrender) we also enable creativity to flourish. If there are no rules or expected outcomes in a situation, then the situation is free to flow as it will. It is as if we pull away the banks from the river and let the water choose how it would like to flow.

An understanding of the situation and faith in our angel guides can help with trusting the expectation to forces not entirely in our control. This trust does enable us to be more free and experience more abundance and live a simpler, yet more elegant life.

Here's a way to help you get organized and simplify your life, with Maria Gracia's Finally Organized, Finally Free e-book.

Article written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow, who is a top-selling Author and Speaker on the subjects of Life Purpose and creating more abundance in our life.

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Is He The One? Is She Miss Right?

How can you know the person you are dating is THE ONE?

It's an interesting question that people often ask me: "How can I know this person I am dating is THE ONE?"

Wouldn't it be great if there was this simple little acid test that would ferret-out the ever elusive woman of your dreams, or knight in shining armor?

In the movies, they make it seem so easy. Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy's charm and silly jokes, boy ends up noticing girl making "eyes" for him, boy asks her out, voila, they end up at the altar, then in bed (or sometimes vice-versa) and they're happy ever after. Is that reality? It often seems so different in real life!

Recently, a friend of mine told me she bought a popular magazine targeting younger women that had the headline "Is He Really The One?" She said it was the reason she bought the magazine, rather than the flashy article they had on a new hot sex position or the article on how to impress him over the holiday.

A recent poll said that the average person is willing to spend 6 months' salary to find their true love. So, clearly, we really would give a LOT to find this mysterious person. At times, the search for "the one" can seem like the mythical search for the HOLY GRAIL.
Clearly, being able to answer "Is he the one?" is a question that's worth something to many people -- often even people who are already MARRIED.

Of course, being curious about how this particular magazine might have answered the question "Is He Really The One?", I asked her what it said.

If I remember correctly, the article went into some detail about separating darks from whites (laundry) together, something about cooking together, having incredible feelings when you kiss, and then closed with a comment that he'll hold your hair back when you get sick. Hmm... really?

Is that "the list" for THE ONE?

Hmm... let's see:
1. Separate laundry together.
2. Feel incredible when we kiss.
3. Hold my hair back when I vomit.

Wait a minute. I think human decency requires us to look after someone who is sick -- but is holding hair back when someone vomits, doing laundry, and enjoying cooking together REALLY signs we found "the one?"

I think that means we CARE for each other. But I don't think that means they are THE ONE. I've had several long-term relationships where we totally enjoyed cooking together, doing laundry together, traveling on trips together and spending countless hours doing whatever we'd dream up that day for fun. We also talked shop together about our careers together, too. Yet, I'm not with any of those people today. And I've seen many other people get divorced who had all that caring stuff going on. So, what gives?

Something is missing!

The difference here is the difference between EGO and SPIRIT. Our EGO looks at the hot company the guy runs or his stock options that just vested or his flashy car or nice muscles. Our EGO looks at her great body and how all the other guys say how hot she is. But our SPIRIT looks for something else.

Our SPIRIT (higher-self) often doesn't pick the person we fall in love with. Although we frequently see people fall in love at first sight in a movie or on television, the actual reality of those relationships being the ones that last are pretty rare.

In order to FIND THE ONE, it is imperative that we first separate out the things that are based upon EGO and the things based upon SPIRIT.

See below to learn 12 WAYS TO TELL YOUR SOUL-MATE FROM EGO-MATE

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12 WAYS TO TELL YOUR SOUL-MATE FROM EGO-MATE (How to tell a SPIRIT-MATE from INFATUATION):

How can you tell a Soul mate from an Ego mate?

1. Soul mates treat each other as equals, by complementing each other very well.

If either of you are putting the other on an unrealistic level it is likely that the relationship may eventually topple from its foundation. Also, with unequal respect, love will not be balanced, either. Do you treat each other with equal respect and have balance in this way? Ego will not do this. Ego will treat your partner (notice, not soul-mate) as inferior and try to take advantage of them, cheat, and do other things. Or Ego will use the partner as a money machine, a sexy arm-tool, or some other trivial thing that passes like the one-hit wonder.

2. Soul mates are on complementary life paths.

When my ex-wife and I divorced I knew it was because we had incompatible goals. Once we had graduated from college we were on paths that split wide and far apart. It wasn't that she didn't love me, because she did. She had a goal to create a nice little two-kid family and live to see her kids graduate and get married. I, on the other hand, had other aspirations that didn't include kids for quite some time. Compatible dreams, vision, and goals are the most important things to look for in relationships, because they are the root of issues that could eventually derail the relationship train if they are incompatible. If you need help with life purpose, purchase our Life Purpose e-book and audio program power pack (see below) and you'll be on the right path. Do you have similar or at least compatible goals?

3. Soul mates are comfortable with the other looks, feels, smells, sounds, and tastes.

Are you comfortable with each other? In a book I read a few years ago called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, by Mira Kirshenbaum, many of the questions the author asks about a suspect relationship are questions about whether you like the other person's looks, smell, taste, etc. The idea being that if your partner grosses you out you're headed for trouble. This is also a bit of an Ego play, though, so I think it is important to pay attention to where those feelings are coming from.

4. Soul mates have compatible spiritual qualities.

How do you answer spiritual questions? Do you believe in God? What is God to you? Do you believe in prayer? How often? What do you think of Heaven or Hell or other spiritual concepts of eternity? Do you believe we have freedom of choice or is our life pre-determined? To what extent? How do you feel about spirits or angels? These are all questions that can help you determine your spiritual beliefs. Notice: I did not say RELIGIOUS beliefs, which are often attached to EGO or other factors. Many people make a happy couple even though they have two separate religions. Yes, this may present challenges when you decide which religion to raise children in (many decide both, letting the child decide), but religion is not a true barometer of relationship success or failure. Spiritual beliefs, on the other hand, are highly important.

One of the best systems I have found for this type of personality testing is the Myers-Briggs personality profile tests, which helps match based upon Extrovert/Introvert, Intuitive/Sensor, Thinker/Feeler, Judger/Perceiver. I've found that I's ought to stick together and S's ought to stick together. That way, they have a commonality in their core spiritual beliefs. Personally, I match up much better with ENFP than I did with ISFJ, when it comes to relationships.
However, when it comes to writing and business, I really like having an STJ or SFJ around to help sprinkle a dose of practicality and also structure into my work. It is useful to have that complementary personality around me for work. So, this type of testing is useful for both relationships and career.

5. Soul mates are in love, but they are not infatuated.

Are you infatuated or do you have your feet on the ground with your lover? If you think they are practically perfect you may be overlooking things due to feelings of infatuation. The biggest challenge I encounter is that when I am infatuated, I am often blind to that type of logic and won't hear anything of it. Sometimes infatuation has to run its course as we need to learn certain lessons. However, if we can avoid the lesson and save both people in the relationship from getting a broken heart, then all the better, right?

6. Soul mates are obvious to other people.

Do people you know think you're a good couple? Ok, sounds stupid, but I've seen people whose potential mother-in-law couldn't stand them (or even speak to them). Does that sound like a supportive environment? Our support system needs to be supportive of a relationship. That is why we have our support people (family, friends) attend weddings in the first place: to be witnesses and agree to support the marriage in good times and not-so-good times. How do you get along with their friends? Again, this is a support system issue. If you think their friends are pigs, jerks, sleazes, or users, it is highly unlikely you're going to fit into their scene, unless you could describe yourself in such regard. In my worst relationship, I recall that I only liked half of her friends. The other half were either distant, playing games, or dysfunctional. And, to make things more difficult, her mother's attitude and behavior was nothing short of atrocious. From descriptions of past relationships, this was a pattern. Apparently, this Mom obviously hated men. That's not good if your future mother-in-law doesn't like your gender! Using this rule, I'd have seen that it simply couldn't work. Same thing for Dad's with women. If the father sees women as sex objects or beneath men or some other crazy thing, then you might struggle in building an equally-balanced synchronicity between you and your mate. You can't use this rule absolutely and unequivocally, though, because some families are a bit dysfunctional, but it does help to know how friends and family are seeing the pairing.

7. Soul mates are safe together. Soul mates support each other's highest good. Soul mates value each other.

Do you feel safe, empowered, and valued by your partner? If you cannot fairly answer "yes" to being safe, empowered and valued, you're likely missing a key element. I learned this from Jessica Haynes, Aspiration Advocate, (see Jessica's article on AspireNow called What Brings Happiness) and check out the AspireNow Advisor for more information about safety, value, and empowerment.

8. Soul-mates aren't wrapped up in physical or material pursuits.

It isn't that you can't have a "good" relationship with those pursuits; it is just that the physical and material possession hunt does not satisfy your soul. If your lover has lots of side Ego-perks, such as a kick-butt job, a hot car, high-brow social status, or a model's body, how would you feel if the particular "perk" went away? If they gained weight, would it matter? If the stock market crashed (see: Demise of the Dot-Bombs) and those dot-com options they hold which were worth millions suddenly are now worth less than toilet paper, would you still love your partner?

9. Soul mates make each other stronger as a team than they are separately.

Soul-mates are stronger together as a team than they are separate from each other. I think this is the #1 most important quality of relationships who make it through the long run. They are COMMITTED to the idea of being a TEAM together. As a result, they'll endure any hardship, toil, strife, challenge, health issue, and other factor that might arise between them. My parents are like this, and recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. My sister and bro-in law are also like this, and they've been going for over 20 years. My brother and I both married women who were NOT committed to the team, and we both got divorced. Not that we didn't have anything to do with it, but I just don't think I was better with my ex-wife than I've been without her. I'm better off now, on the path I am on, than I ever would have been sacrificing my dreams for her white-picket fence, two kids living in the suburbs, soccer-mom dream. Do you make each other better together than you do apart?

10. Soul mates have learned from their mistakes and own their part in the past.

If you find someone you are dating blaming everything else and not accepting their part in their divorce or failed relationship, RUN. Resentment is like ballast in the belly of your airplane and with too much of it you'll never have lift-off! Blame and resentment are not fun to hold onto. If one or both partners has not yet learned to forgive past grievances (see Letting Go Of The Past, Forgiveness, and Surrender) they may create some new grievances with you. If you hear blame and resentment in descriptions of past loves, you're highly likely headed for pain in your new relationship. In my worst relationship ever, I know for a fact that she's still harboring a bunch of resentment towards me. Me? I'm over it and moved on, thank God. Does your partner assume responsibility for previous relationship failures (learning experiences)? This is one question that sniffs out whether a partner is "emotionally ready" for a relationship. Timing, sometimes, is everything.

11. Soul mates will find peace or joy in their soul when they are together.

What does your internal spirit guide, your higher self, say about the match? When you get quiet and meditate about them, how do you feel? As much as a couple might bicker about various things, if you see them fall apart when their spouse is gone for one night, they just might have a soul mate thing happening. What does your gut tell you about your partner? Is it happy? Excited? Joyful? Or is there a sense of ominous feeling going on -- as if maybe you'll never make them happy or be able to please them? If it's the latter, you're not soul mates.

12. Soul mates are available and looking for you, generally speaking.

Maybe it goes without saying, but soul mates usually aren't married to someone else. They are available and looking for you. This is NOT a hard and fast rule, but you can bet that if someone is your soul mate they will naturally free themselves of any entanglements because you're all they want. It's like the spiritual triangle of "eyes on God first" then "eyes on each other" second. If they're in a relationship now, this may not be the best timing. Have they healed from past relationships? Are they able to love their own self, first? These things are important to resolve PRIOR to getting into a new relationship, otherwise, you may be resolving them together, which can be quite a bit more difficult than on our own. Timing is key to when we meet, in terms of developing all the other characteristics we've discussed. Is the timing right?

We welcome your comments and success stories around finding true love and making love more fun and abundant.

Scott Andrews is an author, business consultant, and CEO/Founder of AspireNow (http://www.aspirenow.com/), a site helping people realize their business and personal aspirations. He is a speaker and the author of numerous articles and workbooks on business success, life purpose, smooth sailing relationships, and creating abundant lifestyles. He launched the first interactive self-help program on the Net, called the AspireNow Advisor.

Please note: the author of this article is not certified as a licensed psychotherapist -- please consult professional assistance as your situation dictates.

See similar articles in Smooth Sailing

When Others Lose Faith...What Now?

Have you ever felt like your safety net just dropped out from under you? You know, your husband, wife, parent, child, best friend, or other person close to you just RIDICULED or PUT DOWN or -- worse yet -- WITHDREW SUPPORT in YOUR DREAM!

I'm sorry. That's just not right. But, it happens.

Okay, so you're going along as (a) executive, (b) entrepreneur, (c) employee, or something like that, and for some crazy reason, or a set of reasons, your business or success is taking longer than you thought it would. So, you've drained more money than you thought you would. You have SOME signs of success. Money, customers, web traffic, phone calls. You know, the little signs of success.

But you're not getting rich (yet).

And, they've run out of patience. They think you're crazy. Perhaps, you've been called one of these names:

• Crazy
• Foolish
• Stupid
• Wasteful
• Stubborn

Now what? What can you do?

Do you feel like a failure? (yes/no)

If YES, WHY?

Before we go on. Let me ask you this? ARE THEY RIGHT?

YES? ____ NO? _____.

If the answer is YES, then follow their advice, and stop reading, because you already agree with THEM and don't need this article to help you make up your mind.

HOWEVER, IF the answer to this question is NO, then read on, baby!

Are you determining your success based upon someone else's barometer of success or on your own scale?

Personally, I would really be upset if I missed the answer to the following question:

Scott: "Did you live the life you wanted to live while on Planet Earth?"

Yes? __________ No? __________

There's only one way I want to answer that question: YES.

1. Notice, I didn't give myself a SCALE... on a scale of 1 - 10, to what degree would you say..NOPE. Just Yes, or No.

2. Notice, I also didn't say, "Scott: did you live the life your parents wanted you to live?" or "Did you make your spouse happy with you in your purpose?" or "Did you live the life your brother/sister/friend wanted you to live while on Planet Earth?"

See, because, although these people love us and mean well, sometimes they really don't know what it best for us. Sometimes, only we know that.

If it is an issue that is running between the first question and the latter, I vote in favor of the first. As William Shakespeare said, "to Thine Own Self Be True."

So, what is my advice?

KEEP YOUR FAITH. Have no doubt. BELIEVE in YOU.

Because, apparently, you're the most important person needed right now to believe in you.

How do I know this? Because you already said that the advice was wrong when you answered the first question, above. You already said they DON'T know best for you. In other words, you already know that YOU know best, you just needed me, as a messenger from God or the Universe or just the blogosphere space of the Internet, to remind you of it.

Now, get back focused on what is most important now, and go do it! Remember, as Lou Holtz, former pro coach of Notre Dame said, "to WIN is to do What is Important Now."

Post by Scott Andrews, author of "The Keys To Discovering Your Purpose" e-workbook and audio program. Copyright © 2007 AspireNow. All Rights Reserved.

Bootstrapping your dream

We've posted a couple of articles to help avoid the challenges of bootstrapping for Entrepreneurs that help you start a company or get a project off the ground with gusto:

http://arriive.blogspot.com/ click on Entrepreneur or Start a Company if you can't find the article.

http://www.squidoo.com/Bootstrapping_101/ - Squidoo is another cool tool for organizing your articles, related books, and other useful resources, all in one page. We're starting to post Squidoo articles on posts we believe the Squidoo audience may have interest in.

Aside from that, some random ideas that keep recurring this week, from entrepreneurs I've worked with:

1. If your business plan isn't together, you're not together.
2. If you aren't making any money yet, why should anyone GIVE you any money?
3. Can you tell me the top 3 BENEFITS of each of your top 3 products or services?

Notice, I didn't say Features, or Functions. OH, and let's go a step further. Try to phrase these benefits as how they would apply to your client's EMOTIONAL needs.

Remember, people buy from emotion, then justify with logic.

When you probe for questions, make sure you always ask "how would this make you feel?" or "what types of feelings do you have about your inability to provide..." or "how might that impact you, from a personal standpoint" then listen for emotion-laden responses.

When you're able to dig into the emotional reasons someone has a problem, then sell to that, your sales % will increase 10x. Try it - it works!

-- learn more at http://www.arriive.com/. Find more information like this at http://www.aspirenow.com/. Copyright © 1999-2007 AspireNow. All Rights Reserved.

Is He The One? Is She The Woman Of Your Dreams?

The Founder of AspireNow, Scottt Andrews, gives his take on soul-mates, whether or not you can gain some insight into whether the person you are dating is the REAL DEAL (or not). Includes 12 keys to SOUL MATES that separate THE ONE from the others...

read more digg story

A Level Beyond.... Go For It!

I had a conversation with someone today regarding "is it possible to hit higher plateaus for people who are aspiring to higher levels?"

The truth of the matter is this: no matter what you have achieved, how high the plateau you feel you have reached, you will always be somewhat frustrated that there is something that could have been a little better. We always know this. At times, we will do it perfectly, and get it just right. But, nevertheless, there is always a new development, a new way to play, a new design, a new idea, a brighter methodology, whatever, waiting for us around the corner. It is as if no matter how good we get, there is always another level beyond where we are that we can aspire to grow towards.

An example of this for me has been playing the saxophone. When I was in 4th grade, I saw the jazz band come to my school. All the other kids said "I want to play trumpet. I want to play the drums." But not me. I said, "Next year, I'm going to play the saxophone." I always knew I wanted to play the sax, you see. I loved the sound. I thought it looked cool. I just loved the way the saxophone bell curved and how the keys looked so shiny when fingers played them. But, mostly, I loved the sound of the sax and the "voo-voo" sounds the musician made with it.

The next year, I started to play the saxophone. I noticed that in 6th grade, the lead player got to play two solos. COOL. I decided that I would practice so I could be the lead player. I played my saxophone more than any other student, and became the lead player in 6th grade.

In 7th grade, I noticed that there was a Jazz Band. I tried out for the jazz band and got into it. It was so much fun. There was a cocky sax player in 8th grade who told me I'd never be as good as him. He was pretty good. He won the Louis Armstrong jazz award that year for 8th graders. I decided I would win the Louis Armstrong jazz award in 8th grade, if I could. It wouldn't be easy. We had another good sax player, my best friend, and also a good trumpet player and trombone player. It was not a cinch. I'll never forget winning that award how happy I was!

It continued this way, until rather than awards, I started looking at WHO I could play LIKE. This was totally different. I was now listening to music and different sax players, like David Sanborn, Frank Foster (Count Basie's sax player), the guy from Supertramp, and others. I started playing along with records. And, I got better. But there was always someone better than me. I remember trying to play David Sanborn songs for years, until, finally, in college, I told a friend "I can play Sanborn note for note." He said, "you're kidding." I said, "No, I'm not, listen." Then I played a Sanborn song pretty much note for note. He was blown away. He said, "Scott, you JAM on the SAX!!" Coincidentally, this was the same cocky sax player who was better than me in 8th grade. Sadly, he quit playing, last I'd heard. I wasn't though. I knew that Sanborn wasn't as hard to copy as other sax players, like Ben Webster, John Coltrane, Sonny Rollins, and Wayne Shorter.

Wayne Shorter, as a saxophone player, is simply amazing. Of all the greats still alive, I rank Shorter as the best. Coltrane died some time ago, and although he was great he doesn't move me the same way that Shorter does. I set, as a goal, to play Wayne Shorter note for note. But after trying to play Shorter's solos year after year I sadly came to the conclusion in my early 20's that such an ability was impossible for me to attain. In other words, that I'd never hit that level of playing. Perhaps, Wayne was impossible to copy. Or, so I thought.

Well, isn't it interesting how we grow? There clearly was a level beyond me then, wouldn't you say? So, in my late 30's, I was playing in a band called BODY, which I still have alive and kicking today at http://www.myspace.com/body. We were playing funk, Afro-Latin, jazz, and other fusion songs. One song I decided would be fun to play was Black Market, a song by Weather Report from the 1975 album of the same name. Wayne Shorter played the sax on Black Market. Well, while practicing for the rehearsal to bring this song into the band, I found myself playing for a friend when I suddenly stunned myself while playing along with the solo Wayne played on the CD track: I hit each note almost exactly the way Wayne played it! Later, in rehearsal, I did it again. I was so excited. I remember my bass player, Joe Duran, saying, "you're not going to copy that, are you?" (Joe and I like to tease each other.) And I just laughed and said, "No, I just wanted to show you that I can do it." He said, "Nice. Now think up your own solo." Which I did. Was it as good as Wayne's? I suppose that was for the listeners at our gig to decide. I remember Matthias, my guitar player, grinning at me more than once and saying, "Awesome solo, Scott," back in those days.

Later that night, I went home and listened to a more recent recording of Wayne playing with Herbie Hancock. I realized that Wayne has grown since the recording of Black Market, and to play like him now would actually be another level or two beyond where I am now (or three or four). The point is this:

No matter what we have accomplished, there is always seemingly another level of skill, knowledge, and growth to be achieved in our future.

If you're reading this and saying to yourself, "Man, that is true!" Then, why not use this as a moment to dig deep and aspire to the next level in your own skill, talent, or vocation?

As somewhat of a polymath, or Renaissance Man, I've always seen myself as someone who aspires to be knowledgeable on multiple subject matters. I remember back to 1994, when I'd been selling for DSI, and my company merged with Bell Atlantic. When we bought BABSS, the new company blended the resources of the old, so that my team now was managed by the former Bell Atlantic Business System Services Group Manager, Dick Bomely. Bomely, or "The Bomber" as his team lovingly referred him by for his brusque manner of managing his team, looked at my business card from DSI and frowned eyebrows. "Senior Account Executive, ha!" he exclaimed. "I'll show you a senior account manager. I want you to meet Bob Wood." He got on the phone at that instant and scheduled me to meet with Bob the next morning for breakfast. At first, I was taken aback. After all, I thought I was a good salesperson. I'd had success with my accounts, respect from my peers, and had won a few large deals in my past. But I knew there were people better than me. I just didn't know who. Well, I was about to meet him.

I recall the next day when I came home from work, and I told Patti, my girlfriend at the time, "I just met the next level today." I was talking about Bob Wood, the Northern California Region's star salesman. When I met Bob earlier that morning, I remember there were several things that impressed me about him. First, he was sharp, dressed impeccably. Second, he was sharp as a tack and funny. He was quite clever. Third, He knew his clients and knew his company well. He was also a little cocky. He'd also gained quite a reputation for signing huge deals with Chevron and other firms in the Bay Area. But, all of that said, he was also human. I'll never forget that Bob put a $20 bill on the table, then freaked out when he thought the busboy took it! I never saw him pull the $20 bill out of his pocket, so as far as I was concerned, it wasn't substantial. But, if a busboy can make off with your Andrew Jackson, you're human, right? But I sure was impressed by Bob, anyway.

Meeting Bob Wood was the event that triggered me to decide to push my sales career to the next level. I went out and bought new suits (not just $300 suits, but $1000 suits). At first, I went into debt to do it. So, at least I LOOKED better than Bob. As Tony Robbins says, sometimes you "gotta fake it til you make it." It's true. People noticed, too. I got compliments all the time in those days for my suits and ties. They treated me with more respect because I treated myself with more respect. I then subscribed to Harvard Business Review and Strategy + Business Magazines to step-up my acumen and skill-set. None of my peers read these magazines. I revamped my sales approach to include starting at the top FIRST. I started learning how to sell at a higher level - even to the daunting C-level of organizations. I was determined to learn how to get in the door of these difficult prospects. Three months later, I had the opportunity to win a large support contract with Tandem. Bob told me that I'd never get it signed, because Tandem wanted us to service equipment without a database of the serial numbers, and BABSS wouldn't approve such deals. I called the Vice President of Operations in our company and asked him if he wanted another $2 Million revenue for the company. He said, "Yes, with who?" Then I explained my problem about the serial numbers. He gave me a solution to survey the assets on the first service call in each location, which was a win for everyone. I won Tandem, my first multimillion dollar deal of that year, and went on to attend every Summit Club the company held from then on. Could Bob have been my inspiration?

Later, I met another guy who was "the next level" through interviewing with Arthur Andersen. he didn't dress fancier than me. In fact, he looked like he was on his way to a night club when I met him. But this guy wrote $20 Million dollar deals on a routine basis. He'd earned the right to dress however he wanted. Wow, here's a guy who is another next level beyond Bob. You see, no matter how good we get, there is always someone a level up the scale who might know something we don't. Even if you are the top-rated cardiovascular surgeon in your country, there may be someone in another country who discovers a breakthrough surgical procedure that makes your skills pale by comparison. There is probably something greater in every person who reads this article.

And that is what I am urging you to go after. Whatever it is you want in life, go for it! Go from being good at it to being GREAT at it. Do what nobody else is willing to do. Go for it with all you've got within you. Because you're the one called to that special interest, that talent, that vocation. If you don't do it, what then? Who will do it? Anyone? And if someone does do it, and you didn't, how would it feel THEN?

I remember a former manager, Greg Ficke, who once said to me, "You know, Scott, you will never regret the thing you try and failed trying to do. You may always regret not trying to do it." I think Greg is right. But I'd go further and say you'll regret not DOING it, for sure. But you might regret failing, too. Learn from your failures, get up, refine your process, again, and again, until you WIN. Don't just TRY to DO it, DO IT.

***
The author of this article is Scott Andrews. Scott is the Founder of AspireNow and CEO of ARRiiVE Business Solutions. ARRiiVE helps executives launch companies, improve sales and marketing, and empower the employees within their organization through unique models of collaboration and team-building. If you want to learn more, visit http://www.ARRiiVE.com. For business coaching, call Scott directly at (805) 459-6939. Let him know you found him at AspireNow (http://www.AspireNow.com).