Can You Be Materialistic AND Spiritual?

I am pondering the idea of materialism and how it relates to spirituality. For years, I went through a phase where I said, "I'm spiritual. Materialism is nice, but it is not a focus." No more. I've determined that it is possible to be materialistic AND spiritual at the same time.

"How so?" you might ask.

Yesterday, during the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show with Eva Gregory, we were talking about Mastering the Law of Attraction. I was describing how I wanted to manifest convincing someone to do something, for good of course, that previously I'd not thought about. The idea was to prove to some friends that I could do this. So, I told them I was going to convince Roger to let me drive his beautiful Porsche Carrera 911 to the market to get a pie for Krista, their co-worker. My friends all said "No way. He'll never let you drive his Porsche, dude." Paula, another friend, said "Hey, if he says yes, I wanna drive it, too!"

Well, as you know, I'm a bit brazen. So, I walked up to Roger, and told him it was Krista's birthday, and I wanted to go get a cake and pie for her and for the office to celebrate from the local bakery. Roger said "Yeah, that's a good idea!" I then said I didn't have the money to pay for the pie. "Just take the money from petty cash," Roger replied. Then I said "Oh, and Paula wants us to go in your Porsche instead of my big truck or her dirty car." Roger looked at me funny and said, "Who wants to drive it?" I said, "Paula does!" He said, "Sure, no problem," then handed Paula his keys. Paula then handed me the keys and said "I'm too nervous to drive that car - you drive it!" It took me as long as getting out of the parking lot to get used to sitting in that car!

Pictured (above) - Porsche Carrera 911 Targa

And, oh, was it fun driving my pal Roger's Porsche. This car is a dream. It had all the juice when I gunned it, and it whipped around the mountain road like a thoroughbred heading around the last turn at the Kentucky Derby. As I looked over at Paula, I noticed she was laughing non-stop and grinning from ear-to-ear. "Damn, this car is a magnet!" I realized. I also realized how much fun a car can truly be... the wind flowing in your hair, feeling "as one" with a piece of machine never seemed more appropriate than when I commanded the wheel of Roger's zippy sports-car.

(How fun is it driving a Porsche 911 Carrera? See this!)



While recounting the story about manifesting driving the Porsche to Eva during the show, I jokingly made the comment, "I know we're not supposed to be materialistic, but I'm in love and it's with that car!"

As an expert, well-trained coach, Eva caught my error in manifesting the car and busted the "tape" I was playing and said "Ah! But Scott, WHO SAYS you're not supposed to be materialistic? Being materialistic and spiritual are often one in the same. IT'S ALL ENERGY. Who says you can't love that car? If you're happy driving it, then I say the car is for you."

(Yep, don't be surprised if I'm not driving that car within the year... heh heh... now to find the $80K to buy it!)

I think Eva hit the spiritual and materialism nail on the head. If a material possession is energy, such as a car, and if being spiritual is energy, such as saying a prayer, then it is possible that driving a car we love and praying a prayer for someone are similar or possibly even the same thing! Driving that car put a whole new perspective on "praying without ceasing!"

Crazy, huh?

Not really. To the metaphysical scientist, E=MC2 is the formula that says energy becomes mass which can change and become energy again. But to the spiritualist, God (or Spirit) is the underlying square root of that energy. The Christians call it "God", the Native Americans "The Great Spirit" the Easterners say "the Tao" but whatever, it's all related, if you ask me. The Law of Attraction is the spiritual law that we will attract what we focus on - good or bad - and the importance is to focus or channel our thoughts, speech, and action. In Buddhism, the expression "Right Thought, Right Action, Right Speech" is all about this principle.

I've never had more fun driving a vehicle in my life as the day I drove Roger's Porsche. So, the next time you start to stop yourself for thinking that driving that cool Porsche isn't spiritual, think again. Maybe it is exactly the thing that would fulfill your spirit the most. And manifesting things that fulfill our spirit help us realize that the Law of Attraction can be applied to anything we want from life. I'm all about having fun in life, so for me, driving that car just got added to my dream board. The world is our oyster. It is up to us to crack the shell to find the pearl.
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Mastering The Law of Attraction with Eva Gregory on the AspireNow Show

Join me at 5PM PST / 8PM EST on Tuesday, June 24, 2008, for a special interview with Eva Gregory, Master Life Coach and expert speaker on "The Law of Attraction", on the AspireNow: Seriously Fun Self-Help Show.

Today, Eva will be talking about her highly successful book, Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction, co-authored with Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hanson and Jeanna Gabollini (2008).

Eva is a master coach, speaker and author of several programs and books including The Feel Good Guide to Prosperity, The Prosperity Game Home Study Course™, The Magnetizing Money Course™, and 12 Weeks to Financial Fortune™.

She instructs tens of thousands in person, on the radio and in teleconferences, seminars and workshops on how to deliberately create a life by design using the Law of Attraction.

Do you believe that all of us have the power to change anything in our lives and design it purposefully? Eva does! Call into the show to listen, ask questions, and discover why!

Eva Gregory received her coaching certification from The Coaches Training Institute and further training with CoachU and Corporate CoachU. She is past President of the International Coach Federation (ICF) San Francisco East Bay Coaches, she co-produced the award-winning San Francisco Bay Area Coaching Conference and is a keynote and guest speaker at several conferences, expos, and radio shows.

In 2006, she was named International Coach of The Year. Call the show and listen online to learn secrets from a master of manifesting your dreams. It's simple and easy to join in!

To Call In: Dial (724) 444-7444.
Enter 37792 # Enter: 1 #
or your Talkshoe PIN

Topic: Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction

When: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 5PM PST (1 hour Internet Talk Radio Show)

How to Participate:

1. Visit http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/37792 - this enables you to text questions and see questions/live chat during the show.

2. Dial (724) 444-74443. Enter 37792 # Enter: 1 # or your Talkshoe PIN. This enables you to call in and ask questions live via telephone.

Note: You can also download Talkshoe's Classic player to use the "Classic" version of the show format for text comments and show hosting, although this step is no longer necessary to join.

If you MISS the show, just click here and listen right from this page:

Taking Time To Love Our Own Self

Have you ever experienced the feeling like you were pulled to give time to a dating partner or life partner instead of loving your self?

I recently discovered that I'd been jumping back into dating too soon after a relationship breakup. How did I know this? Well, because, with every person I met to date I found they were either (a) emotionally unavailable, (b) seeking rescue, (c) expressing they were into me (and I wasn't them), and/or (d) expressing they were not into me (and I was them). Whatever the situation, I noticed that I was pushing too much. And, when I got there, I had little desire to pursue it further.


Why? Because I hadn't resolved my feelings in my previous relationship.

I think it is normal to still feel "in love" with a partner, even when they are gone, especially if there was a strong chemistry element to the relationship. However, being in love with someone else means you are NOT emotionally available to date anyone NEW. In other words, dating anyone new when you're still in love with someone else only sabotages any chance at a real connection with that person.

When I realized this was my situation, I decided to pull back from dating and focus on taking time for self. I've done it before: after my divorce with Judi (1993) and again after my breakup with Trisha (1999), I took some time for my self and found it time well spent. I also took that time again between 2002 and 2006, to a large extent, and also found that useful for personal development. If you find yourself working on falling out of love with another and back into love with your self, take some time - it will do you good.

I'm not someone who enjoys excessive time alone. But I do find it worthwhile when between relationships to stop looking for answers outside of me and instead remember to LOVE ME AGAIN and realize that all the answers to my personal happiness lie inside me. The spirit of God inside me provides all the happiness I need to be fulfilled. It is true for everyone. When you love yourself, then you are truly ready to love another person again!

So, if you're finding yourself caught in demands for your love and affection and your heart just isn't in it, perhaps you might take some time out for yourself. Remember, any time we want to love someone else, and have them love us, too, it is critical that we love our own self first.
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog. Photo courtesy Free Range Stock.

Peak Moments Matter

Have you figured out the "peak moments" in your life?

If I were to ask you to define your "peak experiences" over the history of your life, which ones rank highest?

I had someone ask me this question. Over half of my personal peak moments were from vacations.

I noticed while shuffling through odd-and-end photos that the 2007 Christmas Card from my girlfriend had eight photographs on it. Five of those pictures were taken from vacations. Either the cruise to Mexico, the trip camping, or the photo of us dog-sledding in Alaska all stood out as peak moments from her year.

I've noticed in over 500 interviews over the past 5 years with couples and singles about their peak experiences in life that most people would say that 50% or more of their peak moments occur on vacation. I've also noticed that other high-quality time together is during our meal-time.

My family used to pray, then talk about their day around the dining table during family meal-times. It is a highly useful practice to help build consistency around family, know what's going on in everyone's life, and encourage each other and share in each other's lives.

Are you making the time you spend eating together a priority? Or do you just serve up dinner and everyone goes off and does their own thing? Try setting a specific time. Say "grace" if it suits you, then share with each other from your day.

Are you making the time to vacation together with the people you love? If not, why not book a fun trip to a spot on your bucket list (list of places to go before you "kick the bucket") and start building a new memory.

It might require a sacrifice to go: higher gas prices, taking time off of work, coordinating schedules, and costs of traveling all impact the ability to vacation. As I've always found, the people who vacation the most are those who MAKE time for vacations. If you set vacation time as a priority, you'll find the quality of your life will improve, too.

In all of my hundreds of interviews with couples, I find that the happiest couples are those who vacation at least three weeks a year. How much quality time are you spending together? Are you seeing the world with each other?

Peak moments matter. The memories you make both on vacation and around the table will be the memories you'll all talk about years from now. And, if you haven't been going, you can start making those memories today!
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. Photo: C. Andrews (my folks, Tami, and I eating some ribs on the cruise to Alaska - good times!). All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

Are You In Love?

Do you believe in love? Are you in love with someone special?

Have you let them know it lately?

There are many ways to say “I love you” to someone. When considering love, it can be a feeling, a thought, a spoken word or phrase, a gesture, or a solid action demonstrating love clearly exists from one person to another.

What Is This Strange Feeling we call LOVE?

If you feel that you love someone, you're likely either feeling a sense of “belonging” or a sense of “loyalty” or a sense of “passion” for that person. Have you ever seen someone who “felt” in love with someone but never told them how they felt? What were they waiting for?

Sometimes, we don't share our feelings with others because we are afraid that we might be rejected. Or, we may have been hurt by a lover in the past and now feel the fear that this new person may not work out, either. Last, perhaps we've already given it a go with a special person and had less than the desired success with the relationship, and feel that going back in might cause more hurt in the future. In any event, there are reasons why people sometimes do not express their feelings of love for each other. However, I will point out that in most of these instances, it is FEAR that stops people from sharing their feelings with each other.

In case you've missed some of my other articles on this subject, FEAR blocks LOVE. You can't have your optimum relationship airplane take-off with fear on board the plane! FEAR works like a DRAG on any relationship. So, if FEAR is stopping you, I'd say to RELEASE the FEAR! Once you've released the fear you will free your soul of the burden that blocks your conscious self from expressing your true feelings. At that point you will be able to express your love freely with the person you love.

How can we express the love we feel?

Once you've decided to express your feelings, you now have choices. You can either SAY how you feel, or you can SHOW how you feel.

Say it loud, say it proud!

"I LOVE YOU!"

When we say “I LOVE YOU,” we are expressing our feelings in the most direct and sincere way possible. We could still say, “I care about you” or “I dig hanging out with you” or “you're a lot of fun” but all of those ways of expressing feelings could just as easily be feelings of friendship as feelings of love. If you want to say “I love you” to another person, why not just come out and say these three magic words?

Now, if you're like me, you probably appreciate hearing when another person says “I love you” to you. So, go for it, put it out there, and let your heart strings play their tune.

Have you told someone you care about deeply that you love them?

If you were hurt in the past, you've got to move beyond that hurt, put the fear behind you, and embrace saying how you feel IN THE MOMENT now. When you can do this, you will experience MORE love in your life – I'm certain of it. If you sense people arguing, why not step in and offer a bridge towards faith, hope, and love in the GOOD of things. When we work as a team, support each other, and offer encouragement, life is SO MUCH BETTER!

In my family, we all say “I love you” when parting. We do this frequently – I'd say about 30% of our conversations end with “I love you” stuck in there some place. I don't know if I've been as good with my relationships. For some reason, I'm a bit non-committal and don't always say how I feel when I love a woman. I've made a new resolution in 2008 that from now on, when I feel it, and we have engaged in a committed relationship, I will say "I Love You" much more often. If you feel like you love someone special, tell them. You might have something to lose, but we certainly can't win anything if we don't play the game of life. And playing means jumping in and saying something.

Don't just say it - SHOW IT!

Now, you may also feel better if the person also SHOWED you how much they love you as well as TOLD YOU how much they loved you. After all, we can't play if we don't interact.

My sister once told me that children base their judgment of how much you love them by how much TIME you spend with them, doing things together. Is it any different for teenagers, college kids, thirty-somethings, mid-life adults, or elderly? I read in an advice column last week how a Grandmother felt her love was rejected and didn't matter because the kids and grand kids weren't showing appreciation for the time she was investing towards them. On the other hand, I've also read about mothers trying to get their kids exposure to a grandmother who didn't act involved or show up to birthday parties. The love street goes BOTH ways. Just reach out and show the people in your life that you love them.

We MAKE time for those we love...

Don't just TAKE time - MAKE time for the people who are special to you. Spend meals and vacations together. Go fishing together. Attend plays together. Read a book together. Watch a movie together. Go for a walk together. Just do things together. I love going to play golf and tennis with my brother and nephew. It's become a favorite past-time now with all of us that grew out of my reaching out one day saying "Come play golf with me!"

In my family, not only do we say we love each other often, but we also SHOW each other that we love each other by making special trips and visits to be with each other. We share special meals together. We're there for each other during hard times. We play together. We take vacations together. We make a point to communicate with each other – even when we're busy. Is your family making the effort to SHOW they care as well as SAY they care for each other? If not, why not start this practice today?

Actions speak louder than words...

Here are a few useful ways to SHOW YOU LOVE SOMEONE with your ACTIONS:

1. Write a handwritten note. Notice: I didn't say send a text message. The meaning of taking the time to write a letter still carries far more weight than sending an email or a text message. We've grown so lazy in the modern era! Is an e-card the same as a hallmark birthday card? I hardly think so. People TOUCH a letter. They don't touch their e-cards. I remember when my wife, before we were engaged, sprayed perfume in her letters to me so that I'd remember her smell when reading her love letters to me. Can you SMELL an email? Enough on that. So, yes, put it in writing. I was joking with a friend by my pool last week and said “I think it's hot when a woman writes me a love note, like 'I love you' or 'you made me so hot last night' in lipstick on the mirror, or sticks a little love note under my pillow saying something like 'I think about you...' while I'm sleeping, or creative things like that.” She replied, “I send my fiancée a text message!” What do you think a man is more likely to remember: the lipstick note, the note under the pillow, the note in the lunch pail, the card with perfume, or the text message? So, put it in writing but also make it something memorable by engaging the senses and making it physical!
   
2. Put yourself in front of them. My Dad once told my sister that if she wanted to attract a man, to dress pretty, be smiling and happy, and make sure she stood in front of him at events where he shows up! I recall meeting my last girlfriend that way, when she was standing there at church laughing at my crazy jokes! She later followed me around the appetizer trays as we chatted, and we talked for about forty minutes that first day. Clearly, there was something going on! Are you spending time or finding activities where the person you love is spending their time? I play gigs. I've found that women, when they want to express interest in me, often show up at one of my saxophone gigs. It's a way they're letting me know they're interested and it's probably also fun and casual for them so it is easy for them to put it out there. My sister met David, her eventual husband, at a group event at Campus Crusade for Christ. David and his friend, Chuck, invited Terri and her friend, Susie, to frozen yogurt one night, and then later they went on a double-date to a movie. Chuck put his arm around Suzie, David gave Terri a kiss goodnight, and the rest was history! In one of my all-time favorite movies, It's A Wonderful Life, Mary Hatch, the woman who loves George Bailey, finds a way to go with him to the dance, to spend time around his family, to support him in his dream to “lasso the moon” and pretty much demonstrates, consistently throughout the movie, that she totally loves him lock, stock, and barrel. I wouldn't mind being loved like that, too!
   
3. Do something nice for them. This one is tricky. You want the thing you do to be a favor, not create an expectation. So, use this with discretion. An ex-girlfriend once told me she thought I loved her when I took out the trash. She also said she showed her love to me when she folded my socks in the laundry (I'm color-blind), saving me anguish from wearing a navy sock with a black sock! Those little things sometimes matter. The things we do for each other, baking cookies, cooking a meal, mowing the lawn, bringing soup when they feel bad, giving them a back massage, rubbing their feet, are all ways to show you love someone. In school, I remember I scored points when I offered to carry a girl's books one time. Little things that show you are a gentleman, or a lady, matter. Show up with flowers, chocolate, or some other little small gift. Show up with a CD he likes or some other gift he wants. Do something to show him you care. Dress up for each other and look nice for each other - even after you've been dating for three years!
   
4. Be there when times are tough. When someone is ill, experiences a loss at their job, goes through a tough time at work, loses a friend or loved one, goes through a death in the family, an accident, or any other thing that could be considered a “times are down” moment, it is critical that you show the person you love that you care. Seriously, friends show they are friends by being there – in both the good times and bad! If you love someone, show them you love them. Don't let them down when they're going through a tough time. Be there for the people you love when they go through tough times and you'll prove that you're a loyal, loving companion!
5. Hold hands, hug, kiss, or make love with them. If you want to show someone you care, don't withhold physical affection. Show them you love them by greeting them with a hug and a kiss (a long one if you're already intimate – the 10-second kiss concept helps keep relationships a little spicier!). Touch them, rub their shoulders, pat them on their hip, wrap your arm around them when you're standing by them, and connect with them physically. It is a way to show we are connected, mentally and emotionally, with someone we love, by touching and connecting with them physically. I recently saw a woman and her husband together, and while they were considering a serious decision, I noticed that she rubbed his arm, rubbed his shoulders, smiled at him, gave him encouraging looks.. there was so much in her body language telling him "I love you!" that it was right there on her sleeve!
   
6. Don't withhold your love. If you're still in love with someone, but playing hard to get or distancing yourself, whatever you do get back in there and communicate that you love them! Why would you pull away and cause them to doubt that you care if you truly still DO care for them? And by all means, if you're in a committed adult relationship with someone, do NOT withhold physical affection. If you're holding out, sexually, consider giving your lover sexual love unless it is painful or highly uncomfortable for you to comply or give physical affection due to an injury or illness. I've seen men cheat on women because they withheld sex. I've seen women cheat on men because they were only “getting it” once every two months. If you're in a “love” relationship, why wouldn't you want to “make love” with each other? If you want to show, through your actions, that you love someone, then making love is the most intimate and powerful way you can demonstrate your love for your partner. Of course, make sure you're fully able to trust each other first, then engage in sex as it is appropriate. But, once you're in a sexual relationship, do not then start to withhold or find excuses to avoid sex. It will degrade how you show your love through actions more than anything else you can do. As a friend of mine recently said to his girlfriend "I can deal with all the crazy stuff you put me through if you give me regular sex, but when you withhold sex all I hear and see is the bad stuff." Yes, sex matters.
   
7. Give before you expect to receive. (Or give without expecting to receive.) If you've been holding back, expecting your lover to give to you first, I'd suggest YOU GIVE to them FIRST. Why initiate? Because, by putting it out there you help encourage others to love you the way you would like to be loved. We have a song we play in my band, BODY, called "Give Some to Get Some," which is about this very thing. Give some without expecting anything back, and you might be surprised by what you do get back.

If you want to build more love, yes, it is important to both say "I love you" to your partner AND show them, through your actions, that you're someone they can count on, that you're someone who supports and believes in their dreams, and you're someone who will celebrate the good and bad times, too.

If you're IN LOVE with someone, don't leave it to mystery – or to chance – for them to find out. Take action and SHOW you love them by doing something, right now, to demonstrate your love, and you'll improve the love in your life.

Enjoy this article? You'll also enjoy my article on Fun Dating Ideas here at AspireNow.
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

I Miss You

I recall friends who used to talk with me every day. We may have emailed regularly. Others would text message or Instant Message me. For some, it was just a talk, meet, and have fun thing. Many people enter our lives, interact with us at some level of intimacy, then go on with their journey elsewhere.

To those who have helped me along my journey, as I think of you, I will send you this thought:

"I miss you...
Thank you for what you gave when you were in my life.
I am grateful for the experience of knowing you.

I send you blessings of love, happiness, joy, forgiveness, and gratitude."

Are you grateful for the people who've influenced your life?

If not, send out a thought of gratitude. Gratitude + Love + Forgiveness = Fulfillment + Happiness.
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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.

Setting and Reaching Your Goals

Are you living the life you want? If not, perhaps it is a good time to revisit your dreams and goals and WRITE DOWN what you really want the most.

I've got a formula I've used in the past and recently revisited regarding goals. It worked before, and I believe it still works, today.

How to set and reach better and more powerful goals:

1. Write down goal categories.

I recently made the following categories:

1. Personal growth and spiritual development
2. Career development
3. Fun, hobbies, and recreation
4. Money management
5. Social network
6. Family and friends
7. Health and body

Through utilizing this system, I broke down my goals into the top 1 - 3 goals for each category. If this is too daunting, just set ONE goal for each category.

For example, my biggest health and body goal right now is to get back to 195 FIT lbs total weight. I've made progress on this having lost 24 lbs in the past six months; however, I still have to get more toned and drop another 20 lbs. by the end of August to hit my goal.

2. Frame each goal in terms of "I am" and "sooner or on" and "or more than" and "or less than" in your phrasing.

For example, with my health and body goal, I've phrased it like this:

I am exercising regularly, weighing 195 lbs or less, physically fit, and eating healthier foods by August 31, 2008 or sooner.

See how it works?

3. Put each goal on an index card.

4. Read each goal as an intention twice every day.

5. Additional recommended step: create vision boards for your goals.

I recommend utilizing Orange Peel Software for a "dream board" on your computer. They're not expensive and it's a cool way to create the exact vision of what you want to see instead of a screen saver!



In addition, create a cardboard vision board with cutouts you create on your computer or from magazines. Just be careful using magazines ... I'd rather paste the EXACT thing I want rather than something SIMILAR to what I want. It is more powerful to picture the EXACT representation of what you want to realize in your life.

When revisiting your index cards each day, I suggest you read each one in the morning, and then again late in the day before you go to bed or when you say your prayers.

I've also written an article on Executive Goal Setting to help you realize more of your career aspirations over at ARRiiVE's blog. I recommend you check it out before completing your business goals.

I wish you the best in setting and reaching your goals. I've found this system to be the best over the course of my life. If you regularly revisit your goals, cross off the list the ones you've achieved and added new goals, over time, you'll realize far more than your counterparts and live a much more happy and fulfilled life!

View related articles:
How To Succeed More Often
A Vision Board Can Help You Manifest
How To Lose Weight
Fun Dating Ideas
Find The Man (or Woman) Of Your Dreams
Smashing The Goal Barrier
7 Steps To Living The Life Of Your Dreams

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Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved. Want more? Subscribe to the A-Blog.