My Friends Rock

I recently dug through a forum discussing life happiness until I came across this question:

"Why do my friends suck?"

While this may be perceived as a common challenge for teenagers; however, this is actually more of a prevailing question in society, at large, than we might realize. When polled on satisfaction regarding how we rate our friends, this was the result:

How We Rate Our Friends (Source: 2006 AspireNow.com poll of 1,325 respondents):

38% - I have a close family and loving friends.
17% - My family could be more supportive, but I have loving friends.
21% - My friends are not supportive, but my family is supporting me and shows me love.
24% - My friends and family are both not very supportive and I feel disconnected.

Most people seem to rate their family and friendships as being pretty good. Personally, I'd say, MY FRIENDS ROCK (I'm definitely not someone in the "my friends suck" category).

Taking Another Look At How We Rate Our Friends :

38% - I have a close family and loving friends.
17% - My family could be more supportive, but I have loving friends.
21% - My friends are not supportive, but my family is supporting me and shows me love.
24% - My friends and family are both not very supportive and I feel disconnected.

That means 45% say their friendships could be better! Yikes. Well, that's why I'm writing this - to help give ideas to help you improve your friendships and relationships.

Now, let's take a look at how you rate your own friendships.

How are my friendships, in terms of closeness and support:

My Friends Rock! ______
My Friends Are Good ______
My Friends Could Be Better ______
My Friends Suck. ______

If you chose the "my friends suck" category, you're probably not a very happy person right now. And, if you chose "my friends rock" category, you're probably much more satisfied overall with your life situation and happiness.

According to Professor Ed Diener, University of Illinois, people who score high on life satisfaction tend to have close and supportive family and friends, whereas those who do not have close friends and family are more likely to be dissatisfied.

Character matters more than looks, wealth, and popularity:


In a study among girls from smartgirl.org, the three characters we exhibit in friendship that meant the most were as follows:

1. LOYALTY.
2. CARING.
3. LISTENING.

Note: Popular, Smart, Money, Athletic didn't rate NEARLY as high as loyalty.

Using the Golden Rule (reap what we sow), it would make sense that we ought to give what others want. So, if we want good friendships, we first ought to be loyal to others. Second, we need to show we care. And, last, we need to listen well. If I were writing that survey, I'd have added "funny and creative" to the list. Maybe it's me, but I just like fun and funny people. After all, if humor is the best medicine, then I want more of it!

Reach out and touch your friends often:

As much as we love IM, EMail and modern technology, the TELEPHONE is still the #1 way to reach out to our friends. So, if it has been a while, send an email, then follow it up by phone. You'll find your friendship quickly reconnected. I did this recently with many of my friends after my truck accident (see I'm So Grateful).

My personal rule for attracting great friends is to set the following intention:

1. My friends and people in my inner circle are in support of my highest good, and I am in support of their highest good.

2. I like friends who are well-rounded, with successful lives, and a good sense of humor.

That's pretty much my criteria for friendships. I've found that since defining friendships in this way, I've attracted and maintained really strong, happy, and healthy friendships.

The biggest difference was when I set the criteria for #1 (above), using "highest good" as a defining principle, I have found that friends don't lie to me, they don't disrespect me, nor do they use me or treat me poorly. The reason is that anyone who WOULD do this quickly either eliminates themselves from my life or I see who they are and eliminate them. I'm an extrovert, and by nature easily make new friends, but of all my friends who stick, they ALL now exhibit the features of both #1 and #2. It makes life much more rewarding, and for sure, I can truly say that my friends ROCK!

I was just having a chat with my brother yesterday, and the one comment we both shared that stuck out is that our friendships and experience with friends and family are what matter the MOST in life. It's a good idea to set an intention for more of these experiences.

Thank you for being my friends!

If you want better friendships, first be the friend you wish to attract back to you.
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Disclaimer: This material is intended for informational purposes only. Any financial, legal, health, or other information given is not to be interpreted as being financial, legal, health and professional advice. If you need advice, guidance, or counsel of any kind you should seek out a qualified and experienced professional in that field.

Written by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow and CEO of ARRiiVE Business Solutions. Copyright © 2008 AspireNow. All rights reserved.