Thursday, October 29, 2009

Dating: Is It All About You?

Here's a funny video to get us started on this topic:

Is it all about you?

I hope not.

I've always felt that good dating ought to be a mix. But, let's face it, if you're trying to ATTRACT someone, it might be more about THEM than it is YOU. If you're focused so much on how you look, what you're going to say, what you're going to do, you might miss out on the fact that there's a beautiful person over there, dying to share some of their own joy with you.

I made this mistake myself on a date probably more than once. You know, where you start blabbing about stuff you're doing, then ten minutes later stop talking and realize they're thinking "oh my God, this person is a selfish A@@!" Have you done that? Now, here's the trick - if you're trying to be funny, you have to say SOMETHING. I've also heard nightmare stories from women who say "the guy looked okay, he seemed nice on the phone, but in person, he just SAT THERE and LET ME DO ALL THE TALKING! It was SO AWKWARD!" I've felt that way about a couple of women, but then again, I'm pretty good at getting people to draw out what they're into after being a life coach for such a long time.

The point I'm trying to make is this: dating (and relationships) are a two way street, not a highway and a dirt road. In other words, there ought to be mutual sharing. If one person is dominating, the other ought to speak up and pipe in.

Remember, dating isn't all about you. It also isn't all about them, either.

Don't let people dominate the conversation too much. A little, okay, but too much you might end up feeling resentment down the road that can contribute to a break up. Instead, share your part, then ask them. Listen intently when they answer. Share together. That's what relating is all about! It doesn't have to be EQUAL. Some people are extroverted, others introverted. Keep in mind this MIGHT be why you're attracted to them. They help fill in the gap of what you keep quiet about. Just try to make sure that when you've got something to say that they listen, too.

Dating can be fun, when both parties are learning and sharing about each other's lives. So, let's share with our partners and experience a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

You can also find more dating articles at: AspireNow: Smooth Sailing

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