Is Stress Giving You Wrinkles? 10 Ways to Improve Your Health

How stressed out are you in your daily life?

I just finished reading a report on the impact of stress on our health. I'm committed to better health. How about you? Do you want to be more healthy?

Stress can weaken the immune system, impact our heart, nerves, skin, affect our sleep patterns. Excessively high stress can cause mental disorders, nervousness, anxiety, and other conditions. How is stress affecting you?

I'm convinced that stress is a huge contributor to wrinkles, and increases the impact of age.

To help impact the challenge of wrinkles and lower stress, I've put together a list of the TOP TEN WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH:

1. Take extra time in how you treat your body. Not just your face, but give extra care to how you treat your whole body. How much do you exercise? I think going for a 45-minute walk at least three times a week, plus daily stretches and yoga, are critical to maintaining good health. In addition, swimming, dance, yoga, and other forms of activity are recommended. Slow down a little and take time to meditate and give back to your body.

2. Get rid of the junk. Okay, this is a multi-subject thing for me. Junk could be viewed as things that block you from being healthy, such as cigarettes or booze. Junk could be candy. Oh, it's just a little candy bar... really? Did you see what they put in it? Start reading labels and then putting the things back on the shelf that don't look healthy to you. I'd rather not eat than eat junk is becoming more and more of a mantra. If you can't quit smoking on your own, try getting a massage, then hypnotherapy. It worked for a friend of mine. If you're blocking your thoughts by reading the paper and watching the news or too much television, either cancel cable or put the t.v. in the garage for a while. While this may seem dramatic at first, eventually you just might find that you don't miss it. When I don't watch television, I have more time to read a good book, write music, and work on articles for AspireNow (http://www.aspirenow.com/). Would you say those things are a better use of my time? I'm not going to decide for you what is junk in your life. Just get real with yourself and make a little list. Then ask yourself: "Are these things in support of my BEST SELF?" If the answer is "no", then when you eliminate these junk things from your life you will be clearing a path for PEAK PERFORMANCE to truly occur. Awesome! Why not start now?

3. Trade or schedule a Massage (face, scalp, back, feet, hands especially) to help you reduce stress and reduce the impact of stress on your body. Massage is very useful to help us lower stress. In addition, I'd add hydrotherapy in a hot tub or hot spa. I personally find this to be one of the top 5 ways I de-stress after a long day. If you haven't treated yourself to a massage and you're going through stress, I'd recommend you schedule a massage with a trained therapist right away.

4. Stay hydrated. Lots of fresh water, preferably from a clean and pure spring, helps you keep moisture and oxygen flowing through your body and skin. My favorite water is TRINITY and CRYSTAL GEYSER. And, nope, neither of them paid me to recommend to you. I'm not a fan of water from the faucet -- especially in municipalities who fluoridate their water (another topic). Make sure you drink extra water when exercising and also if going into a hot-tub or a hot bath, as both dehydrate you. Also, for people who drink a lot of coffee or beer, you'd better match it with water, because coffee dehydrates you. Either that, or quit drinking all that coffee and beer. It just makes you nervous or gives you a gut anyway, right? If you're drinking a lot of soda, you might find that you have skin conditions. Whenever I start having skin conditions, the first thing I look at is what am I drinking? If it's a soda or more a day, you'll likely develop a skin problem, from my experience. My ex-wife, when I first met her, had awful acne like skin under her chin. I remember asking her how she got that, because it was such unusual looking skin. She said, "I dunno. I just got it a couple of years ago. I'd love to get rid of it, it makes me self-conscious." So, I asked her what she ate and drank. She ran through her list of diet and then said, "oh, I love diet coke. I'm an addict. I drink six diet cokes a day." (yikes!) I got her to agree to limit her diet coke intake to no more than 1 a day by cutting down by 1 until she reached 1. She did it, and guess what, her skin cleared up.

5. Commit to the basics (sunblock, foundation, etc.). Okay, that's good for women, but what about for men? I personally use a moisturizer that comes from my sister's company, Skin Strategies, and it has double duty moisturizer and age impact with both peptides and amino acids. Email me if you want to get hooked up with these awesome spa products and I'll send you either to my wonderful friend, Tami or my wonderful sister, Terri. They didn't pay me to say that, either. I think the most important thing to do is to practice good hygiene, clean your hands regularly, and wash with antibacterial soap and water at least two minutes each time. It is amazing how people don't do that even when in highly germ-infected and confined areas like cruise ships.

6. Proper diet. Monique Gilbert (http://www.moniquengilbert.com/ ), who has helped many people eat healthy, lose weight, and keep it off. I've been looking to do that myself, lately, and following her advice, which is: "Eat foods rich in antioxidants (like vitamins A, C, E and lycopene), omega-3 fatty acids, and folate. Antioxidants fight and neutralize free radicals, which are molecules that damage cells and cause heart disease, cancer and premature aging. Omega-3 fatty acids (a polyunsaturated fat) have anti- inflammatory, cardiovascular-enhancing and immune-regulating properties." I'd rather get that treatment from food than a drug, wouldn't you? Monique continues: "It is helpful in preventing and controlling high cholesterol, hypertension, heart disease, stroke, cancer, diabetes, depression, inflammatory and auto-immune disorders." All things we'd rather avoid. And ends up with, "Folate prevents age-related cognitive decline, damage to blood vessels and brain cells by lowering homocysteine levels. It also ensures DNA integrity (important as we age and when pregnant) and promotes healthy red blood cells. Excellent food sources for these nutrients are as follows. Antioxidants - pumpkin, sweet potatoes, carrots, kale, grapefruit (red and pink), blueberries, strawberries, watermelon, cantaloupe, oranges, peppers (red and green), tomatoes, broccoli, sunflower seeds, almonds and olive oil. Omega-3 Fatty Acids - ground flax seeds, walnuts, salmon, soybeans and pumpkin seeds. Folate - dark green leafy vegetables (turnip greens, mustard greens, spinach, romaine lettuce, collard greens, etc.), beans, legumes, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, beets and okra." Have you been eating enough greens lately?

7. Laughter. Schedule a comedy show. Watch a comedy. Laugh. I try to laugh hard at least a few times a day. I've made a game out of trying to make other people laugh (and not at anyone else's expense) because I find it makes my own life more enjoyable to hear someone else laugh. I wrote an article on the power of laughter at http://www.aspirenow.com/ back when I first launched the website. I equate laughter to "God" energy. If we laugh more, we get more God within us. Hey- if it is true, you certainly can't knock it. All I know is I like funny people and feel better when I'm laughing than when I'm not laughing and super serious.

8. Listen to good music. I've read several other places to include music. Okay. But, they don't say what KIND of music. I find it so amazing to look at the Top 50 Billboard songs today and compare to the Billboard songs from 1950. You might want to consider music that you find RELAXING rather than upbeat or yelling at you. Also, what are the words? If they're singing about being a loser, drinking, getting screwed-over, or other negative topics, you might just want to replace that with more healthy and relaxing music. I've taken to acid-brazilian music lately as it makes me feel more relaxed and happy. One, in particular, is Bebel Gilberto, who has a voice I'd describe in one word as VELVET.

9. Get regular sleep. Notice, I didn't say "get 8 hours of sleep" because frankly, some people don't need that much sleep. I also didn't say when to go to bed or when to get up. We're all different. Just make sure your sleep is as close to the same time each day, and about the same number of hours. If you find yourself yawning throughout the day, you either got TOO MUCH or TOO LITTLE sleep. Modify your schedule until you find yourself feeling optimum and your energy-level restored, then stay with this program. If you're having problems with sleep apnea (a problem typified by snoring) you might not be getting solid sleep or healthy sleep. If this is you, consider seeing a specialist to determine if there are ways to treat the cause of sleep deprivation.

10. Look up, be happy! I recorded a radio show at AspireNow Radio recently on the idea of Mood Boosters. Click NowLive, enter AspireNow into the shows, and you'll find it. Being happy comes mostly from optimistic thinking. As we think, so shall we be. I will add to this that what we put in our brain is often what comes out of our body. If you put "I can do it" thoughts in your head, you probably can. In addition, if you look up, smile, and take time to be happy, you probably will. So, don't worry, be happy!

Eliminate the stress in your life and improve your health and well-being by seeing if these tips don't give you a better, more healthy life.

This article is by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow and Life Coach. Scott is the author of "The Keys To Discovering Your Purpose" audio/e-workbook programs and many articles on the subjects of Life Purpose, Smooth Sailing relationships, and Elegant Simplicity lifestyles. You may reach Scott at http://www.aspirenow.com/ or call him directly at (805) 459-6939 to schedule a coaching call directly.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

You ever wonder why some people are in relationships? As if, perhaps, out of convenience, or some other matching that pairs people other than love.

There are several forms of love that must be present in order to build stronger dating and marital relationships. First, friendship. You must be friends. If you are not friends, you will not support each other. And, relationships without support are relationships doomed to fail. Without friendship, you have no trust and often, no respect. It is vital to build a foundation of honesty, trust, respect, and other positive "friendship" type of qualities in your relationships, if you wish for them to go the distance. These types of qualities come from doing what you say you will do, treating each other in kind ways, making an effort to listen and support each other, and so on.

Second, you need to have emotional love. Romance is nice for men; essential for women. Without romance, there is a lack of desire for sex from women. I think ROMANCE can be spelled in so many ways, but it's acting like a couple, doing little things for each other, showing you're thinking about your partner. These things build the love between you.

Third, you need what I'll call passionate sexual chemistry. Without sexual chemistry or passion, the fire for each other can die out. This can cause the relationship to be dull and boring. Mix things up and surprise each other. I was watching a movie a week ago called Paris, je t'aime (2006) and featured a group of short films all about ways people fall in love in Paris. One that stuck with me was about a man, who met his wife to tell her he was leaving her for another woman. But, before he could tell her his news, she broke into tears and told him she was dying with terminal cancer. He decided to step up and act AS IF he still loved her. In the process, he fell back in love with his wife. It was a charming story that got a great point across in less than ten minutes. Romance leads to passionate sexual chemistry. Passion CAN be grown, but you must ACT AS AF you love each other if you are to keep it alive.

Next, you need to have financial stability. I know it sounds funny, but if you think of the majority of reasons people fail in relationships, it usually is over money. So, take care that you first earn enough to get ahead, and second that you don't overspend, so that money is not a strong factor against you. Financial stability isn't necessarily a form of love, but it sure can derail it if you don't have it together. So, get your career solid, so that your money is solid, and your love ought to be solid, too. Just make sure you don't get unbalanced so you're spending so much time at work you forget to romance each other and make love often!

Last, a relationship needs SPIRITUAL LOVE. This is often described as synchronicity. Psychologists will define it through profiling, such as the Myers-Briggs system, where they'll match an ENFP with INFP or ENFP and show that you're far more apt to "get along" with synchronicity with those similar to your type than those opposites. I'm kind of a cross between an ENFP and ENTP. It's a system that matches your personality traits based upon:

E or I - EXTROVERT or INTROVERT
N or S - INTUITIVE or SENSOR
F or T - THINKER or FEELER
J or P - JUDGER or PERCEIVER

I'm certainly not an introvert. I typically score 5 out of 8 Extrovert. So, I'm an E. I'm also not someone who has to touch and feel things to believe in them (SENSOR). I score higher as N. I'm usually split down the middle on F/T and I find that I communicate outwardly like a THINKER but process internally like a FEELER. It can cause some mix-ups some times. A funny thing, is that I tend to be drawn to other F/T personalities, too, so it presents some crazy conversations, to say the least! Last, I'm not really a J. People think I am a J, because I'm good at fooling people into thinking I'm highly organized. Perceivers, or P's, are much more creative and connect the dots in their communication. They run late to parties. And, they're constantly trying to get organized. Whereas a J simply IS organized. A J simply IS on time. They think it rude if someone is late. I think all the people who live in Latin and Spanish cultures seem to be more P driven, while those in Asian cultures generally are more J in personality. Someone who is definitely more J than me was an ex-girlfriend, who would clean while I'd play, who would organize when I'd create, who would get upset at me for making us late to parties.

You will find that if you date your TYPE of personality, you will typically have an easier going relationship than if you date someone your opposite. I found this completely true with someone I dated in 2001. She was an old high school friend. But when I looked back at her personality type, she was an Introvert (I), Sensor (S), Thinker/Feeler (same as me on that one), and J. She had perfectly balanced bank ledgers. She knew if she had $18 in the bank, where I would guess if I had $1,800 and maybe be within two hundred dollars. She was on time, most of the time. Me, well, you can guess. Anyway, we fought like cats and dogs. When I think of someone who is a fellow ENF/TP, we hardly ever fought. I wonder if the profile had something to do with it? I'd call it spiritual synchronicity.

I'm digressing. What I'm getting at is that this psychological profiling is really just a method to try to understand someone from a spiritual perspective. Note, I said spiritual, not religious. You can be Catholic and marry someone Protestant if you are similar in spiritual outlook. So, that said, I think Spiritual Synchronicity is the most important of all the forms of love I've described.

When they ask, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Well, I think just about everything. For when your relationship is grounded and lit on fire with true love, you can be stronger together than you were on your own.

****

Scott Andrews, Author and Founder of AspireNow, writes articles and records audio programs helping people improve their lives through Life Purpose, building Smooth Sailing relationships, and creating a lifestyle of Elegant Simplicity. Learn more about these features at http://www.AspireNow.com. In addition, don't miss the upcoming book "What Men Want: A Guide To Meeting and Making The Man In Your Life Love You" due out at AspireNow this winter at http://www.AspireNow.com/products.htm.

Getting Through a Health Scare

Have you ever had a severe illness or injury where you were concerned you might be in trouble with your health?

My Dad had this happen the last couple of days.

He's had a heart attack before, about 6 years ago, and needed stints put in his heart. Now, many people tell me that if it's the heart that is one of the better medical things to deal with these days, with the fact that there are so many procedures to get around blocked arteries and all of those things.

It still affects you, though. I mean, I love my Dad. If something were to happen to him, I'd be very upset. I just know it. He is a spiritual guide. He is wise. He is one of my best friends. When I once was faced with a situation where I thought my Dad would disown me (yeah, I'd really done it this time!) my Dad looked at me, teary-eyed, and said, "it would take more than that to take you away from me," and then hugged me with this huge bear hug. I realized, right then, exactly how much my Dad truly loves me.

If you've lost a family member, you may know what it's like to wish you could say something to them... to go back. Well, what if we lived each day SAYING those things. Okay, maybe not EVERY day, but why not say it often?

One of my new friends this year, Ken, recently started the website http://www.aletteroflove.com/, for the purpose of helping people show more love while they are ALIVE and with us. It is important to show how much we care on occasions outside of the holidays and birthdays.

In my family, we all pretty much have developed a habit of saying "I love you" at the end of phone calls. What some might call "sappy" I have come to realize is for real.

Although everyone in my family was concerned about this latest scare, after running tests, it appears that although his blood pressure was low, that indeed it is a torn chest muscle, and not the heart. WHEW! So, I have good news today.

What did I do during all of this? I went to the hospital, and talked with Dad for a while. I check back on him twice, and talked to the Doctor about releasing him from the hospital. I waited until Mom showed up to take him home. I did as much work as I could from there, in the cafeteria. I rescheduled my radio shows to tomorrow. It just takes energy to deal with hospitals, you know? And, radio shows take time. So, I made a decision and pushed the shows out by a day. Would you do the same thing or would you have gone on with your normal show? If you'd been dealt with a scare, don't wait for the person you love to be gone to spend time with them, tell them you love them, and show them the ways you care for them. Make the effort now. Make the effort today. Please trust me when I share that you will not regret it one iota.

Love is summed up on this day for me by being dutiful. By giving, rather than taking, by being there when it mattered, even though it may have only been a scare - or even a little thing. It is, after all, the small things that often get remembered. I think my brother or sister would have done the same, had they been closer. I once asked my sister how I can grow back closer to my nephew. She said something really wise to me that day, "Well, Scott, it's all about time. Kids judge how much you love them by the time you spend with them." How true.

Is it really any different for adults?

We need to spend time with the people we love. Writing a letter, sending an email, going fishing together, going shopping together like the trips my Mom has initiated the day after Thanksgiving, spending meals together, praying together... all of these moments are the opportunities that we can always look back upon and cherish as the memories of the good times in life, when life mattered most.

This article is by Scott Andrews, Founder of AspireNow (http://www.aspirenow.com/). He offers an audio program and e-book on "The Keys To Discovering Your Purpose" and also has authored "31 Success Secrets of Millionaire Superstars" e-book, and other coaching services available through AspireNow. He also offers masterful ways of building collaboration in enterprise environments through ARRiiVE Business Solutions (http://www.arriive.com/).

Dating 101 (for MEN): Give Them Something To Talk About

Dear Men:

Are you curious to know what women want? I wrote an article, posted at http://www.aspirenow.com/smooth_03_01_what_women_want.htm, on this various subject.

Well, it starts with what you look like. But, then beyond that, you have to spark something in her imagination. And that starts with what conversations you talk about first.

According to Plenty of Fish (http://www.plentyoffish.com/), the following are the top 10 conversation starters women WANT to talk about:

POF Women’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics:

1. Hopes and aspirations
2. Hobbies/interests in general
3. Music
4. Dreams
5. Romance
6. Friends
7. Travel
8. Vacations
9. Movies
10. Entertainment

So, consider asking a woman about these things when talking to her on the phone, on your first date, or otherwise. I've noticed it is usually wise to use a PROP as an ice-breaker. For example, if you see someone reading a book about travel, and you want to talk with her or think she's cute, rather than say, "Hey, you're cute, wanna date?" try "Have you been to Jamaica?" (assuming the picture is about Jamaica). Or, if you're at a restaurant, and she's eating, ask her "How's the food here?" What do you recommend ordering?" Or something like that. It opens the door to talk about favorite recipes and the ROMANCE of food.

Asking someone about their dreams is just positive karma. You're establishing what they want, and learning about how compatible you are on a spiritual level. Pay attention to dreams and aspirations -- it's where you might end up with her. This topic is of especially more importance than all the rest, if you ask me. Movies establish what KINDS of THINGS or ATTRIBUTES she likes in her men (rugged, make her feel safe, etc.).

Another point important to make is that if you're going to give her something to talk about (with her friends), you've got to inspire her with something you do from her FAVORITES. For example: what is YOUR HOBBY? One of my hobbies is playing the sax. Yes, I play in bands. Yes, women have come up to me while I'm playing and given me their phone number WHILE I'm playing or during breaks. It turns the tables. Now, I'm the star. I'm the one she's hearing play and turn the room upside on it's ear. Get a hobby that interests you, and make sure she knows about it.

What are your hopes and aspirations? She DOES want to know them. Ask her about hers, then share yours. This is a great way to get to know someone better. Even those people who we think we know, it is good to revisit their hopes and aspirations every six months or a year, at least. Do you know why? Well, because THEY CHANGE sometimes! So, keep informed and in the know.

Vacations are a huge turn-on for MOST people. It's amazing. When I sold timeshares, I found that many people find vacations to be more adventurous, a time for more romance and love, and often vacations are where we would describe our PEAK MOMENTS over 50% of the time! That's powerful. So, talk about vacations she's been on. Talk about places she wants to go. Let her imagine going there WITH YOU.

Now, on the flip-side, it's important to know what topics to AVOID.

Here are the POF Women’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics:

1. Politics
2. Other dates
3. Past relationships
4. Science fiction
5. Religion
6. Celebrities
7. Science
8. Antiques
9. Money
10. History

So, guys who brag about your money or your car, guess what? Unless she's totally shallow (which contrary to some egotists thinking is rarely the case) she won't care THAT much and in fact you might be TURNING HER OFF. Isn't the idea to TURN HER ON?!

Politics? (yawn) Past relationships? You'd be surprised the number of times I've overheard or directly heard a woman say "Oh yeah, this last guy I met, all he did was talk about the bad dates he'd had before he met me." Ew. I'd be turned off, too. Don't relate with negative topics. It amazes me. Guys, when are you going to get it, the woman you date wants to know SHE IS THE ONLY WOMAN THAT MATTERS TO YOU. I know, it sounds selfish. And, yeah, maybe it is. But, while you're with her, at least remember this and give her the appearance that she's the only woman who matters to you. If it is true, even better, because then you're got the beginning of monogamous love happening!

Don't tell a woman she looks like Jennifer Lopez. I once heard a guy tell a woman "you have the cutest little J Lo butt" and guess what? He didn't get her number. I wonder why?! First of all, he compared her to a celebrity who has personal trainers, make-up artists, fame, and glamour. Second, he complimented her in the process. Women like compliments, but the guys who succeed more often are the one's who deliver more of a positive-negative.

OH - and this guy blew it because women don't like it when you talk about their body parts. I know, guys like to say things like "Look at the rack on her," or "Wow, what talent. Did you see her backside?" or other things like that to their GUY friends, but just don't forget that women, in general, don't appreciate that guys talk about them like that. They'd rather know you care about their personality, their brains, and all the other wonderful qualities they offer you.

It's like a woman who talks about a man's car, his job, his wallet, guys get turned off for similar reasons.

Science, antiques, history? Well, these stations are 70/30 or even 80/20 GUY oriented. If you want to talk about what shows are on SPIKE, talk about them with your buds. Talk about what women want to talk about with your woman: romance, friends, aspirations, hobbies. Be passionate about how you talk about these things.

Try these conversation tips and see if you don't have better interactions with the woman in your life. It can't hurt, can it? It's about using the Law of Attraction. Talk about what you want to attract. If it is a woman, talk about HER FAVORITE topics, not yours. It's all about bringing more love between the sexes, and any time we can hit our favorite buttons we're likely to spark a positive reaction. If you spark a positive reaction, trust me, you'll be the one she's talking about with her friends, too.

This post on improving dating relationships is written by Scott Andrews, Syndicated Author, Life Coach and Founder of AspireNow (http://www.aspirenow.com/). Scott's e-workbook and audio program "Dream Large: The Keys To Discovering Your Purpose" help people live their Life Purpose. Scott also writes and speaks about lifestyles with Elegant Simplicity, also at AspireNow. In addition, Scott writes and offers keynote speaking on sales success, empowerment for enterprise organizations (see http://www.arriive.com/ for more details).

Start Living Your Dreams!

What's stopping you from living your dreams?

Failure?

I recently spoke with a woman who wrote to me, "You're living the life I dream about."

I asked her, "What's stopping you?"

Her answer? "Money. Fear of failing, I guess."

Wow. Okay. That's honest. Can you blame her for staying in her secure job? It pays for her mortgage, her nice middle-class BMW car, and other necessities of life (shopping, food, etc.). But she isn't getting rich. Are you? And, she really isn't that happy doing her JOB. Are you?

The lesson in this is that what if YOU fail? There are many times you can launch your dream.

You could be considering launching your dream during any combination of the following:

Have a job now. Don't have a job now. Don't like my job now. Like my job now. Have money to last for two or three years. Don't have money to last for two or three years.

Guess what? People have started their company or launched their dream in ANY of the above stages. So, no matter what stage you are in, you can at least START SOMETHING!

David Kelley, the world's most celebrated industrial designer, urges creative people to "fail faster so they can succeed sooner." Amen. You see, when you start your venture, there is a high likelihood you will fail. I know, you don't want to hear that. And, you're smarter than those other fools who try, right? Well, guess what. I'm smart. And I failed. I failed a lot! But, with each failure, I've gone back to the drawing board, and continue to make a small tweak here, an adjustment there, drop this, start that, and continue to develop my programs and services UNTIL THEY SUCCEED. And, it is working. This is how most people make it, I have found out.

They START. They FAIL. They ADJUST. They START AGAIN. They FAIL AGAIN. They LEARN. They ADJUST. They RE-START, THEY WIN. They ADJUST. They FAIL. They ADJUST. They WIN. THEN... ONE DAY... They WIN SOME MORE.... AND MORE... AND MORE. Try it: it will happen for you, too! Who knows? You might even be one of the lucky ones who WINS out of the GATES.

You might be surprised what can happen in your life. Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck and living other people's dreams? Start living YOUR dreams. The only way to live is to take action on DOING IT!

Don't be afraid of failure. Embrace it. And get it behind you as soon as you can, so that you can start winning.

by Scott Andrews, Author, Entrepreneur, and Founder of AspireNow (http://www.aspirenow.com/). Scott is the CEO and principal business advisor at ARRiiVE Business Solutions, helping executives start a company and launch a new product or service. His expert team helps executives navigate to save time, build interactive marketing, improve sales training with real-world advice, and focuses on helping enterprise leaders build empowered teams with Scott's dynamic SEMANTIC COLLABORATION models and tools. Learn more at http://www.arriive.com/.

Friendship: A Crux of Happiness

In my coaching experience, HAPPINESS is one of the main objectives people seek from life. A question that comes up is "what will make me happy" and then the follow-on might be "with my job" or "in this relationship" or "with my life?"

Or, someone will state a concern, but the underlying objective is really happiness. Stating "I'm not really content with my job right now," is a way of saying "my job isn't making me happy." Or saying, "He isn't really doing it for me anymore," is a way of saying you're not happy in your relationship.

No matter what the topic, whether it be our work, our relationship, our health, I find that building solid, strong friendships is actually at the crux or a cornerstone of building happiness in our lives. And the way we build strong relationships is to invite, share, and give part of our life with another person.

When I coach people on how to improve their dating relationships, the first thing I suggest they do is just build more strong friendships. Because the stronger your friendships, the stronger your dating relationships can be, too. The network supports the core growth of two people and helps keep them in the relationship if they ought to stay in, and likewise encourages they get out if they are in an unhealthy situation.

Friendships are also highly useful in business. I find that many of my job opportunities, many recommendations that helped me land a job, and many coaches to challenges I've had in my career actually came from my friendships. So, if you're at work and struggling in your career. The first thing I would suggest to you is to GROW more business friendships. That means, helping people without worrying about what they're going to GIVE back to you. It's hard to do at first, but a key especially when you're volunteering. It is actually one of the best ways to grow your network. Volunteer for an organization or event, such as the American Cancer Society, and then just try to be helpful in any way that you can within the time you can spare. Watch how many friends you grow from this. When I volunteered for the American Cancer Society, I made several great friends from the events and people I've met there. In fact, one year, I met my friend Jonathan, who later invited me to RYZE (http://www.RYZE.com), the first social networking site I joined that produced countless other business and personal relationships and friendships.

So, you just never know where one association might lead. I've been volunteering for the local Symphony Pops concert every year. Each year I've made new friends who were also part of the volunteer team. Try the volunteer route and see if your friendships don't improve.

The best thing about friendship is that when you least expect it, a friend might pop out of the woodwork and brighten your day. This happened for me recently with Belinda Farrell (http://www.HunaHealing.com), a master hypnotherapist and Huna Healing practitioner who also was my first Aspiration Advocate at AspireNow. I remember meeting Belinda through a Bonnie Coleen event I attended, where Belinda had a booth offering her services. I was drawn to her and became her friend. Then later that year, I offered her an opportunity to be an Aspiration Advocate. Belinda agreed. Today, years later, we are still friends. I refer people to her business, and I'm pretty sure she's referred a few to me, too. But, more than that, we care about each other.

Who do you know in your life who you would love to know better?

I totally recommend you reach out, do something, give something, show in some way that you care in a way that THEY will appreciate. For example, I'm just listening to Belinda's introduction and the word that sticks with me is "dolphins" for Belinda. Sometimes, sending a dolphin greeting, or a gift, might be a way to show you care for someone like Belinda. Or, invite them to an event you're participating in. Are you going to a seminar on sustaining the planet? Well, maybe your friend might want to go with you. And, it will be more fun for you to share in the experience. So, you can grow a friendship a variety of ways.

My friend, who I referred to Belinda, contacted Belinda regarding her "Chant and Forgiveness" CD program. Belinda, in reference to me, said something flattering like "Scott is a Masterpiece." I glowed when I read this. What a beautiful thing to say about me. When I reconnected with Belinda, there was such a warmth, such a depth of love in the connection, I realized: "Wow! I have a lifetime friendship happening here." How cool is that?

Our friends are so wonderful!

"Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans," according to Wikipedia. I really love what Wikipedia later lists as criteria for friendship:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
• sympathy and empathy,
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

A few years ago, I actually took this to another level and added: my friends are people who are in support of my highest good. It was the expansion of the first of these bullets. My question was: If someone is NOT in support of your highest good, are they really your friend? I pondered that question and decided, nope, only people in support of my highest good are truly real friends. If you make sure that a person you surround yourself with is in support of your highest good, has easy camaraderie, tends to have mutual understanding with you, and demonstrates both cooperate and supportive behavior; congratulations: you've gained a deeply rich new friendship!

It has been said that a man can die rich and still be poor. But the counter is you can die poor and be rich -- very rich -- with friendship.

Make your life an effort to grow rich friendships, and see how your happiness grows. Friendship is like putting miracle grow and water on your life. Plant seed, add friendship, watch happiness grow is the way I see this path towards happiness. So many people struggle with what they are getting from life. Well, the best way to make a new friend it not to GET, but to GIVE. How is your serve? If you reach out, offer to do something for each person you meet. It doesn't have to be incredibly time-consuming, nor does it have to cost a lot. Just do SOMETHING. GIVE SOMETHING or INVITE this person to some event you're participating in, and watch a new friendship grow.

I invite people I meet to my band gigs. It is one way people love connecting with me. People have invited me to their workshops, all kinds of things. OH - and if someone invites you to something, GO! Try to RIDE TOGETHER. Time together is the best recipe for growing friendships. The more time you spend together, the more you know each other and have a chance for really deep friendship.

Sometimes we make a trade-off in life of money for friendship. I told someone recently that I made less money living on the Central Coast than I made in the Bay Area. However, I have 10x the number of friends since moving here. So, was it worth it? If you're measuring wealth of friendships and wealth of happiness, the answer is a resounding YES. And, you know what? I wouldn't be surprised if the abundance in wealth soon follows, too.

As the title of one of the songs I wrote goes, you've got to "Give Some to Get Some."

How can you grow your HAPPINESS? By DEEPENING the QUALITY of YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.

The author of this post is a business and life coach. Learn more at http:www.AspireNow.com or http://www.ARRiiVE.com.

How I Got Rid Of My Joint Pain In My Hands

I was listening to a program today about health and wellness programs. You know, so many people are focused on thinning their waistline, diets, workouts, but even more people are taking prescriptions for problems with energy, brain power (mental clarity), focus, stress, joint-comfort, and other diseases.

Are you looking for peak performance in your work, play and daily tasks?

I might have a solution for you, as simple as a daily drink of water (or other liquid), that costs less than a Starbucks cup of coffee.

Still here? Cool. I'll take the attention from your eyeballs as an expression of interest and permission to share more.

I recently got involved with a product that is delivering on this promise of lower stress, optimal health, higher joint flexibility, and better mental clarity. These are all things that, in running a site like AspireNow, I always have interest in learning more. How about you?

In just a short time after learning about it, the stories about this product are incredible.

For example, a friend of mine said she started taking this juice supplement after being diagnosed with Lupus (a mysterious blood condition). She started taking Xperia and after only one month was given a CLEAN bill of health.

Personally, I found that my mental accuity is more focused, my sense of taste and smell seems heightened, and more than that, the pain I'd experienced for the past year in my foot and hand WENT AWAY! Pain in the hand, which, by the way, a doctor had told me to "just live with it, you're getting older." I'm a saxophone player, so I can't have my hands hurt and play optimally.

My bass player, Jamie, who gifted me product to introduce me to this daily supplement, stopped going to the chiropractor and took off a knee brace he'd worn for 10 years after using this supplement regularly. As a result, his work production in his masonry business went up dramatically. He went back into his chiropractor's office with a box of this liquid supplement. The chiropractor said, "I haven't seen you in a while, Jamie, what's up?" Jamie said, "well, try this, Doc, and you'll find out why."

Shoot, if you ask me, CEO's ought to gift every employee in their company this product. Isn't productivity good for the bottom line? How much money do companies lose on "sick time" for mental, stress, and health issues?

Professional athlete coaches ought to get their athletes (and other personnel) using it... teachers ought to get their parents to give it to kids. One story I haven't personally experienced, but heard about from Jamie, was this kid who took Univera's products and went from being a "D" student, diagnosed with ADD problems, to an "A" student (with remarks about how quickly he changed and improved his focus).

I'm not giving you a sales pitch. This stuff doesn't need one. I just want people to get involved and at least TRY it. What could you lose? Yes, ask your doctor first. But try it... I'll offer it to you without charging you for your first try, that's how much I believe in it.

I can't promise that you'll have this same result, but if you're going to a chiropractor, taking meds, trying to lose weight (and struggling with it), experiencing pain, or simply want to live longer and sustain PEAK PERFORMANCE, visit my Abundance Awaits You website, sign up for the free gift, and try it out. Why am I gifting this free? Because I care about HELPING PEOPLE. You probably already know that from reading the articles at AspireNow.

You can learn more at my site for Univera:
http://www.univeraPowerTeam.com/AbundanceAwaitsYou

This is the only mention I'll make of this at my blog. I'll post more at http://www.advancedbreakthroughs.com/ and also probably a page that describes more at AspireNow in the future. As you can tell, I'm excited about Univera's products enough to post them here on the A-blog - but, hey, it's about SELF-HELP. I haven't had a product that literally healed me of pain (other than a temporary drug) and delivered on the promise before like this one, so can you blame me?

Learn more about it here:
http://www.univeraPowerTeam.com/AbundanceAwaitsYou

P.S. - There IS a business opportunity if you wish to share the product with your friend, too. I won't go into details on that, except to say that people are making anywhere from $500 to $27,000 per month (not kidding) after getting involved in this program. Just try the Univera product yourself for a while, and if you're convinced that you like the product, why not share it with others? I'll help you get started if you're interested. Also, there's a link for that at my site, too:

http://www.univeraPowerTeam.com/AbundanceAwaitsYou

Note: claims are true personal stories of the author and two of his friends. Your individual results obviously may vary. According to the FDA guidelines, consult a physician before beginning any supplemental diet program.